Hi I am Erica I am 28 years old and not very experienced. I recently got out of a relationship that lasted for 8 years and I have met somebody new and he is very adventourous in bed unlike my prior relationship who wanted missionary only. Anyway the guy that I am now with likes to hear me talk dirty but I have not a clue as to what to say to him. Please help
talking dirty
- Thread starter Erica28D
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This is probably not exactly the reply that you were expecting. I'm not going to suggest specific words or phrases.
I am of the belief that the more you have surrendered to what is going, the more verbal you may become. Not speaking may be a way of avoiding embarassement. If you are feeling like you may say something embarassing, then you haven't completely given in to the moment.
Work into it slowly. I suggest, if your partner is willing, to explore the idea when he is performing oral sex on you. Lay down, relax, close your eyes and try to completely surrender to the moment. Try to really take in every sensation that your body is providing. When you are really into it, just tell him what you are feeling. Describe those feelings as best as you can. Tell him what is happening to your body as he pleases you. Tell him when he has done something particularly enjoyable. Encourage him. Tell him what you want him to do next.
You can be as graphic with your language as you are comfortable. It doesn't matter. The point is to just let yourself go and so whatever you are comfortable with.
Let us know how it turns out! Sounds like a good story to me!
I am of the belief that the more you have surrendered to what is going, the more verbal you may become. Not speaking may be a way of avoiding embarassement. If you are feeling like you may say something embarassing, then you haven't completely given in to the moment.
Work into it slowly. I suggest, if your partner is willing, to explore the idea when he is performing oral sex on you. Lay down, relax, close your eyes and try to completely surrender to the moment. Try to really take in every sensation that your body is providing. When you are really into it, just tell him what you are feeling. Describe those feelings as best as you can. Tell him what is happening to your body as he pleases you. Tell him when he has done something particularly enjoyable. Encourage him. Tell him what you want him to do next.
You can be as graphic with your language as you are comfortable. It doesn't matter. The point is to just let yourself go and so whatever you are comfortable with.
Let us know how it turns out! Sounds like a good story to me!
Thanks Mr_Neb, I completely agree with what you are saying, I am very comfortable with him and I am trying to be explicit verbally but can't think of anything to say to him other than just your normal sex talk. I would really like to get him turned on by telling him nasty things.
StevenWill
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2001
- Posts
- 353
Try telling him how you feel about the things you do. You might establish a vocabulary that is acceptable and exciting to you both(words for genitals like cock, pussy, etc). You can also write a sexy letter and try expressing yourself when you have more time to think and don't feel the pressure of the moment. Or send a sexy e-mail during the day, perhaps detailing what you really liked the last time you had sex. Be playful and have fun with it. Everyone has an inner bad boy, slut or naughty girl we want to share with our partner. I dated a woman who was in exactly your position. We talked about it and one day she sent me an e-mail. It said, "I loved having you watch me give you oral sex last night. I felt so naughty being seen with a hard cock in my mouth. Just thinking about it now is making my panties wet. See you tonight." That was a bold move on her part, but when she got to my place and I told her how excited I was to read the note, it broke the ice a little and we went on to trying to be more verbal and expressive. We even roleplayed a little and she could really let go when she was pretending to be someone else.
Just the fact that you want to means you are on the right track. Good luck.
Steven
Just the fact that you want to means you are on the right track. Good luck.
Steven
Erica,
Basically, as your comfort level grows with yourself in this relationship, you'll more likely open up with your new lover. If you are looking for vocabulary, might I suggest you try some of the stories on this website. I have found that they are an excellent source to build your erotic vocabulary.
If you are "tame" as far as your sexuality is concerned, you might want to stick with the "Erotic Couplings" or "Romance" sections.
Take care, and best of luck. He's a lucky guy to get someone who wants to learn.
Sean
Basically, as your comfort level grows with yourself in this relationship, you'll more likely open up with your new lover. If you are looking for vocabulary, might I suggest you try some of the stories on this website. I have found that they are an excellent source to build your erotic vocabulary.
If you are "tame" as far as your sexuality is concerned, you might want to stick with the "Erotic Couplings" or "Romance" sections.
Take care, and best of luck. He's a lucky guy to get someone who wants to learn.
Sean
StevenWill
Really Really Experienced
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- Jan 21, 2001
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- 353
Let us know
Let us know how you are doing, Erica.
Let us know how you are doing, Erica.
DriveSouth
Lepidopterist
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- Sep 5, 2000
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- 2,909
I suggest reading some of the stories over on the Sexual Role Play board to get an idea of what men like and women too.
Make_My_Day
The Naughtiest of Angels
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2001
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- 1,635
Hi Erica, you know, I used to tell my boyfriend stories.. I mean, while having sex make him picture a certain surrounding.. so a bit of roleplaying actually.. Like Steven said.
He used to "just listen" and get really exciting about it.
It may be somewhat weird to start but you can start like "next time.. when you come home from work.. I'll be.." well, you take it from there
Diana
He used to "just listen" and get really exciting about it.
It may be somewhat weird to start but you can start like "next time.. when you come home from work.. I'll be.." well, you take it from there
Diana
StevenWill
Really Really Experienced
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- Jan 21, 2001
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- 353
update?
Ok, Erica, give it up! How is it going? Talk dirty for us will ya!!!!
Ok, Erica, give it up! How is it going? Talk dirty for us will ya!!!!
curvacious
Literotica Guru
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- Jan 15, 2001
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- 600
relax. try it out with words/phrases you're comfortable with. If you try stuff your not comfy with, the rest of that time is probably going to feel awkward. Try using one word/phrase to begin with and then expand from there, adding new words/phrases as you go.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
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As StevenWill suggested, you might be more comfy writing to him in the beginning than splurting it all out when you feel "under the gun", so to speak.
Beginning slowly is a good idea. Perhaps you could begin by describing for him, in writing, some sexual experience you've enjoyed. Maybe a good round of masturbation with thoughts of him creeping in? Could you describe your rise to orgasm, what you did to yourself to get there, and then the process of letting go enough to cum? Describe your orgasm to him, what it feels like and where. Use gutter words if you can, if you're comfy with them. It's something he's probably interested in anyway, that info about what it feels like for you when you cum, so it would accomplish two purposes.
Describe it as it happened, sequentially, and then email it to him. See what kinda reaction you get. Bet you get to pick the restaurant that night, at least.
Talking dirty with someone you're close to is fun and hot and exciting and increases the wildness aspect of whatever you're doing by a *lot*. You'll probably come to like it.
Yes, Erica, good girls DO talk dirty. ~wink~
cym
Beginning slowly is a good idea. Perhaps you could begin by describing for him, in writing, some sexual experience you've enjoyed. Maybe a good round of masturbation with thoughts of him creeping in? Could you describe your rise to orgasm, what you did to yourself to get there, and then the process of letting go enough to cum? Describe your orgasm to him, what it feels like and where. Use gutter words if you can, if you're comfy with them. It's something he's probably interested in anyway, that info about what it feels like for you when you cum, so it would accomplish two purposes.
Describe it as it happened, sequentially, and then email it to him. See what kinda reaction you get. Bet you get to pick the restaurant that night, at least.
Talking dirty with someone you're close to is fun and hot and exciting and increases the wildness aspect of whatever you're doing by a *lot*. You'll probably come to like it.
Yes, Erica, good girls DO talk dirty. ~wink~
cym
Sateema Lunasi
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2001
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- 892
Talking Dirty ala Sateema
Okay, I will be specific. If you can't think of something to say...here are some of my standards...
"Oh God! Yes!" (the classic---this can be said at least ten times before he starts to think you aren't very creative)
"Yes, that's it, do it hard..."
"Oooh, touch me here...(indicate specific body part)"
"Yes, I love it when you fuck me!" (notice how yes as an affirmation can be used in many variations of Fuck-Me statements.
"What's my name, bitch? What's my name!!!" (insert crack of a whip here---if you are four foot nine, like me, you may want to watch the backlash on the whip)
Other than that...can't help you much.
Luv,
S
Okay, I will be specific. If you can't think of something to say...here are some of my standards...
"Oh God! Yes!" (the classic---this can be said at least ten times before he starts to think you aren't very creative)
"Yes, that's it, do it hard..."
"Oooh, touch me here...(indicate specific body part)"
"Yes, I love it when you fuck me!" (notice how yes as an affirmation can be used in many variations of Fuck-Me statements.
"What's my name, bitch? What's my name!!!" (insert crack of a whip here---if you are four foot nine, like me, you may want to watch the backlash on the whip)
Other than that...can't help you much.
Luv,
S
vanillacream
Virgin
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2001
- Posts
- 3
i know exactly what you mean, i've been there. if you really like the guy it will take you some time to warm up. what helped me was imaging my wildest fantasy even if i never imagined i could do something like that and be as detailed as you can and you'll tell if he's getting excited. when that happens you let your mind go free knowing the more you say the more your pleasing him and you realize how turned on your getting by your own story. remember, it's just a story. didn't you play pretend when you were a kid?
oh, one more thing that helped me. you can learn a lot from watching pornos.
good luck,
vanillacream
oh, one more thing that helped me. you can learn a lot from watching pornos.
good luck,
vanillacream
Hi Erica,
I like a lady who doesn't mind letting herself go in bed. I agree with most of the advices in the previous messages.
-Read a lot of the stories from this web site.
-Pick up a couple of Penthouse Letters.
-You can try a little cybersex on the internet.
(You'll get plenty of volunteers to teach you)
-Rent a couple of adult videos.
Maybe not so hard to find, but the ones you want are those that have the dirty language and little music overture.
-Try fantasizing and talking dirty out loud when you masturbate.
Best of Luck!
I like a lady who doesn't mind letting herself go in bed. I agree with most of the advices in the previous messages.
-Read a lot of the stories from this web site.
-Pick up a couple of Penthouse Letters.
-You can try a little cybersex on the internet.
(You'll get plenty of volunteers to teach you)
-Rent a couple of adult videos.
Maybe not so hard to find, but the ones you want are those that have the dirty language and little music overture.
-Try fantasizing and talking dirty out loud when you masturbate.
Best of Luck!
