Talking Dirty - Crits & Comments Please!

[X_Ray]

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=46044

In critiquing my last story Max Sebastian very kindly called me talented but chastised me for failing to provide any character development (A Mid Summer Night's Wet Dream). I have taken that criticism to heart and tried again with "Talking Dirty". Crits & comments on these characters are most welcome. Thank you Max.

I must say I had a lot of fun writing this story and I hope that you do reading it.

 

[Impetus]

*Woah!*

I'll certainly tell you right now, you added a lot of personality to this story. Most definitely. It's got a serous ammount of kick going for it because of the connection the reader feels with the characters. They may not be perfectly believable, but they are absolutely alive with detail and originality. These aren't cookie-cutter people you've come up with. They're interesting. I'm certianly going to have to take a tip from this story when I start writing again. A few little personality quirks give some primary color to a person, it makes them much more vivrant, much more alive. A very impressive story.

-I

 

[X_Ray]

Talking Dirty

Thanks so much Impetus! I am very glad you liked my characters. They were a lot of fun to write. I actually work in a neighbourhood like the one in my story and they are composites (with just a little exageration) of real folks I've worked with.

 

[Fairytat]

I agree with Impetus. This was a fun and sexually fascinating story. I liked the names you came up with and they had me laughing for several minutes afterwards. If this is an improvement, then I hope you continue as you are on the right track!!! Could you please write more about these two?

 

[X_Ray]

Talking Dirty

Thanks for those very kind words Fairytat. I presume you want me to bring back Debra and Domina as I killed off poor old Lou.
I think that asking for a sequal has to rank up there with the best kind of review a writer can get! I am giving it some serious thought. I am also considering stories set in the same neighbour hood.

You made my day with your comments. Thanks again!