talked my wife into it

[jakediamond550]

I finally convinced my wife to bring another man into our sex life.

She is deathly afraid that jealously on my part will ruin everything. I've to reassure her but we'll never know until that moment.

Anyway, I'm trying to prepare her for anal sex. We've tried it a few times in our marriage, she says she doesn't like it but she comes, forcibly, every time.

However, I have a question to ask..when I'm inside of her I feel this...I'm not sure what to call it..bone like substance and it is a bit uncomfortable. What am I feeling? I can't ask her because she hides her face in my chest and won't discuss it. I can't really ask my doctor so I thought I'd try here.

What am I feeling, will this hurt her?

 

[MaineFemale]

I finally convinced my wife to bring another man into our sex life.

She is deathly afraid that jealously on my part will ruin everything. I've to reassure her but we'll never know until that moment.

Anyway, I'm trying to prepare her for anal sex. We've tried it a few times in our marriage, she says she doesn't like it but she comes, forcibly, every time.

However, I have a question to ask..when I'm inside of her I feel this...I'm not sure what to call it..bone like substance and it is a bit uncomfortable. What am I feeling? I can't ask her because she hides her face in my chest and won't discuss it. I can't really ask my doctor so I thought I'd try here.

What am I feeling, will this hurt her?

You really asked her about the bone like structure in her ass that she didn't even want you to be in in the first place?? I'm sure THAT didn't kill the mood. *rolls eyes*

You're treating her like she's a specimen. I'm sure if she's in pain, she would tell you. Also, maybe she would like you to be jealous of her being with another man instead of pimping her out for your viewing pleasure. Just a thought.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

you run the [great and very real] risk of fucking up your marriage.

yeah, it can work - involving a third party - but you're playing with fire.

as for the anal thing? you're kidding, right? i could be wrong, but i'm getting the impression you're a selfish prick. she doesn't like it yet you persist...

why do you need the anal scene? is it to do with the other bloke? i've been involved in a few threesomes, and there was no need for fucking her in the dirty-hole. if the lady had wanted it, okay, but...

 

[FarmerTan]

However, I have a question to ask..when I'm inside of her I feel this...I'm not sure what to call it..bone like substance and it is a bit uncomfortable. What am I feeling? I can't ask her because she hides her face in my chest and won't discuss it.

The communication issues you two are having, I wouldn't even think of bringing a third person of either sex into the bedroom.

 

[jakediamond550]

right is right

Well, nothing like being told I am an insensitive jerk.


I didn't mean it the way it sounds, but thanks for the replies.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Well, nothing like being told I am an insensitive jerk.


I didn't mean it the way it sounds, but thanks for the replies.

ah, the perils of the written word. - LOL!

is it her coccyx you can feel?

... and trust me on the dangers of the threeway.

still, it could be awesome. one never knows.

 

[tonguedancer]

To all the people who called the OP a selfish prick or that he runs the risk of ruining his marriage I say let he and his wife decide what they want to do. It said he "convinced" his wife to try it, not that he forced her or threatened her. I'm sure she's a big girl now and if she really didn't want to do it, she would say so. It seems like she's willing to give it and anal sex a try so I say let them work out their own issues and take their own risks without judgmental comments.

 

[subwannabe]

I found it fascinating that he talks about finally convincing his wife to have another man and then the next thing you know he's talking about anal and that she has already said in the past that she does not like it. Something is wrong with this picture. Good luck. You're going to need it.

 

[Eilan]

To all the people who called the OP a selfish prick or that he runs the risk of ruining his marriage I say let he and his wife decide what they want to do. It said he "convinced" his wife to try it, not that he forced her or threatened her. I'm sure she's a big girl now and if she really didn't want to do it, she would say so. It seems like she's willing to give it and anal sex a try so I say let them work out their own issues and take their own risks without judgmental comments.

You'd be surprised at that things that the people agree to do sexually for the sake of making their partners happy. Women, in particular, are often conditioned to be people-pleasers.

 

[Domesticity]

Ive never heard of a bone like thing hurting someone's dick while having anal. It may be her tailbone (as someone else mentioned) since the doctor can stick a fingering your butt to Feel your coccyx.

 

[blulilacgrl]

I finally convinced my wife to bring another man into our sex life.

She is deathly afraid that jealously on my part will ruin everything. I've to reassure her but we'll never know until that moment.

Anyway, I'm trying to prepare her for anal sex. We've tried it a few times in our marriage, she says she doesn't like it but she comes, forcibly, every time.

However, I have a question to ask..when I'm inside of her I feel this...I'm not sure what to call it..bone like substance and it is a bit uncomfortable. What am I feeling? I can't ask her because she hides her face in my chest and won't discuss it. I can't really ask my doctor so I thought I'd try here.

What am I feeling, will this hurt her?

I have to say that I have always found those that say that are fine with it and that they want a third person in the bedroom are normally the ones who really lose it when it actually happens.

You really need to sit down and ask yourself how you are going to feel if she ends up ignoring you because she is enamored of a new 'plaything'. Or how are you going to feel if she orgasms harder for him than she ever did for you?
Will a part of you be cataloging ever sound or move she makes and comparing it to how she is/has been with you? Even those who are in long term polyamorous relationships have the occasional twinge of jealousy and it can test even the strongest of relationships

Can I ask why you want this so much? What are you looking for out of the experience?

 

[jakediamond550]

I
[Can I ask why you want this so much? What are you looking for out of the experience?

Actually it was her idea. I just talked her into finally going through with it. We've been talking about this for quite some time. If I want to get her really hot I tell her I invited a co worker home for the weekend, I love how excited she gets.

The anal sex is both of our ideas, her favorite fantasy is getting "reamed" her words not mine, by two men.

The problem is that she is afraid I won't be able to handle the jealously. That is a possibility. I guess you takes your chances in life.

 

[Miles Long]

To all the people who called the OP a selfish prick or that he runs the risk of ruining his marriage I say let he and his wife decide what they want to do. It said he "convinced" his wife to try it, not that he forced her or threatened her. I'm sure she's a big girl now and if she really didn't want to do it, she would say so. It seems like she's willing to give it and anal sex a try so I say let them work out their own issues and take their own risks without judgmental comments.

How do you know she's a big girl and why does that matter? Are you saying bigger girls are more likely to do more stuff and go along with things they don't want to do, e.g. threesomes and anal, just to keep a man? I feel like that's a bad over-generalization to make.

 

[Somehowyou]

Jake your wasting your time in the How To forum. The only thing these regulars know how to do is offend and insult.

I don't know what is wrong with your wife's boney tail bone. However, I am glad that your wife is comfortable to share her darkest fantasies with you and that you are willing to help her fullfill these fantasies.

go slow with anal. Use plenty of lube. Maybe start with a toy. The key is to allow her to take it at her pace. Do not force. Apply light pressure and let her take it.

 

[mdbigdee]

How do you know she's a big girl and why does that matter? Are you saying bigger girls are more likely to do more stuff and go along with things they don't want to do, e.g. threesomes and anal, just to keep a man? I feel like that's a bad over-generalization to make.

You really don't have a clue,do you?

 

[luvnmyboys]

I'm confused. Did you convince her to try this or did you convince her that you won't be jealous? Either way I would talk it through until you're both sure you want this. I agree it is like playing with fire so take into account the pros and cons and be certain you can live with the consequences. Maybe try web cam with another guy and see how that feels first?

 

[geronimo_appleby]

To all the people who called the OP a selfish prick or that he runs the risk of ruining his marriage I say let he and his wife decide what they want to do. It said he "convinced" his wife to try it, not that he forced her or threatened her. I'm sure she's a big girl now and if she really didn't want to do it, she would say so. It seems like she's willing to give it and anal sex a try so I say let them work out their own issues and take their own risks without judgmental comments.

my comment, if you read it and concentrate, states that, imo, the impression i'm getting is that he comes across as selfish.

that's not as severe as simply calling the bloke as selfish prick.

this is a public forum and, as such is open to any and all opinion. you spout off about judgmental? pot/kettle is my opinion on your post.

 

[CBM514]

You really don't have a clue,do you?

BWAHAHA !

 

[Lady_Fiona]

How do you know she's a big girl and why does that matter? Are you saying bigger girls are more likely to do more stuff and go along with things they don't want to do, e.g. threesomes and anal, just to keep a man? I feel like that's a bad over-generalization to make.

Big as in grown up, you plonker

 

[patientlee]

A fantasy can be forgotten,

But if you go through with it, there's no going back.

Good luck.

 

[jakediamond550]

too late

[But if you go through with it, there's no going back. ]



I know, but thanks for the good wishes.

I introduced my wife to the man who I think will be great. It was uncomfortable at first but they warmed up quite a bit after a few drinks.

Half way through my wife looked at me and asked "are you sure I can do this". I watched, I loved it and hated it all at the same time. I'm not sure if we are going to go any further with this..it is kind of hard to see.

 

[bob53]

Half way through my wife looked at me and asked "are you sure I can do this". I watched, I loved it and hated it all at the same time. I'm not sure if we are going to go any further with this..it is kind of hard to see.[/QUOTE]


It all depends on how you choose to view the experience.

Look up and both of you think about the full meaning of the word compersion. Wikipedia is a good place to start.

If you are truly in a place of personal acceptance along with being in a strong emotional relationship it can be a good eye opening experience.
If you choose to allow ANY personal or relationship insecurities enter the picture - look out as they will be instantly under a magnifying glass.

Be careful to choose wisely now.

 

[imrhapsody]

I as sorry, but from all the reading between the line...she does not want this. She is doing this to make you happy and you should be the man she thinks you are and protect her. Threesomes rarely work out, it takes a very strong and confident couple to do it. She is not confident...man up.

 

[Noor]

Let me just say that I am certainly glad you haven't let the number of murder suicides recently in rural MN that were threesome related curb your enthusiasm for this.

Red flags for me would be having to convince her, needed alcohol for her to be comfortable, her concern about your jealousy.

That boney bit in her ass, no idea, if she is really thin maybe could actually be a bone?

I have been in a few threesome both mmf and ffm, but we were all long term friends, didn't use alcohol, we were totally comfortable, if we were not, we would haven't done it or stopped.

It also wasn't a big production, in fact there was no upfront planning at all, it just sort evolve and the long term effects were that everyone was still friends and with their partners if they had them.

 

[jezzaz]

There's a LOT of shit to say here.

Firstly, as others have said, once this genie is out of the bottle, several things can happen.

One is she likes it and it now features regularly. We've all seen the Loving Wives stories where that happens and unless you are really into it too, it won't end well.

Secondly is that she's not ok with it, and it strains your sexual relationship. If she imagines that this is what you get off on more than anything else, believe me when I say it will do Damage.

Thirdly is she's just Meh about it. In that case, I'd say you got your jollies and got off lightly.

Either way, this will irreversibly change the dynamic. Once it's happened, there is a slight but subtle shift in how the relationship is viewed, by both people. How that comes out is different for everyone and can be to a greater or lessor degree, but it's there.

Either way, you are about to learn about some deeper emotions that you have not considered when you were jerking off to the idea. Fantasy and reality are very different things. You may find you get off even more than you thought you did. You may find yourself needing it and hating her for enjoying it. You never know what your real reaction is going to be.

Either way, whatever your reaction is right then and there - blowing your wad in a greater way than every before - that is a 20 minute emotional high. Then there's the rest of your life to deal with, looking at your wife in a completely different way. And whilst you may get off sexually at that moment, that is no indicator of how you are going to feel emotionally about your wife and her relationship with you from now.

Not saying you shouldn't do it. Just saying this kind of stuff can have long consequences.