Talk me out of this???

[timmyid2]

Caution: Contains some homosexual discussion. If that bothers you, leave now.

About me; I a good looking guy, but I'm getting old and overweight. Very much in love with my wife but in a sexless marriage for way too many years. God, I miss normal sex with a touch of kink thrown in.

Background; A few years back I stumbled into the world of anonymous sex at gay venues. I don't count myself as gay, because I never get romantic feelings about guys but I do get turned on by a fit, clean sexy body of either sex. But it seems like at a bath house there will always be someone ready and willing to have sex with you, so that's where I get satisfied once or twice a year.

Just as I stumbled into the gay sex club scene, I also stumbled into BDSM in that setting. I was on my knees in a steam room when a guy roughly took control, and over the course of 10 minutes he slowly worked his way up from kneading my nipples to squeezing my balls so hard that I was ready to collapse. It was so exciting that I've masturbated to the memories many times.

Since then I've been spanked a few times, and had some rough sex. I even had my own sub to use and abuse for a while. I discovered my inner sadist that enjoyed making him squirm and ask for more and more torment. I even had him try to dominate me a few times, but he was not into to. That relationship eventually ended.

I still think back to that first time in the hot steam where I squirmed and squealed to the delight of an anonymous sadist. And I want more.

My plan; I have a week to myself coming up. I have not had any luck finding a Dom on Craigslist, Tinder, etc. So I'm thinking that I might have fun at the nearby bath house.

I plan to get a room and a locker. Clothes go in the locker. Then at the room I will tape a sign on the door that says that I'm looking to be sexually tormented, bound, fucked and helpless. I'll include the phrase "My ass, mouth, balls and tits are yours to abuse. No bruises please. Safe play only." And I'll include my safeword.

Then I'll lay out the ropes, the leather cuffs, the condoms and other toys. I have soft floggers and belts and things to limit damage. I'll lay on the bed and wait. And wait. And maybe I'll get a bite. Or maybe not. An old cell phone will be set so that an alarm will go off with a recording asking that I be untied, just in case I end up gaged and bound.

I'm too timid to actually ask someone to do any of this to me. I'm hoping to have one very intense experience to remember before I get so old that I can't play like this anymore.

Is this just crazy, or does it have a chance of creating an exciting but fairly safe experience?

 

[Primalex]

As long as your wife knows that you are fucking around bareback, you are old enough to make your own decisions.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I plan to get a room and a locker. Clothes go in the locker. Then at the room I will tape a sign on the door that says that I'm looking to be sexually tormented, bound, fucked and helpless. I'll include the phrase "My ass, mouth, balls and tits are yours to abuse. No bruises please. Safe play only." And I'll include my safeword.

Then I'll lay out the ropes, the leather cuffs, the condoms and other toys. I have soft floggers and belts and things to limit damage. I'll lay on the bed and wait. And wait. And maybe I'll get a bite. Or maybe not. An old cell phone will be set so that an alarm will go off with a recording asking that I be untied, just in case I end up gaged and bound.

It's not obvious to me whether "safe play" means "use barriers for STI prevention" or "no risky BDSM activities like breath play" or something else. Your idea of "safe" might be different to somebody else's. I think you need to spell this out. I can't advise on whether it's reasonable to trust that strangers will respect your rules, I have zero experience with that scene, but at the very least you need to be clear about what your rules are.

Re. safewords, if "gagged and bound" is on the table, make sure you have something that will work in that situation.

As long as your wife knows that you are fucking around bareback, you are old enough to make your own decisions.

I don't think the OP said he was barebacking?

 

[Primalex]

I don't think the OP said he was barebacking?

He did, just not here.

 

[Bramblethorn]

He did, just not here.

cheers, I looked for that in his recent posts but didn't see it. All the more reason then to spell out what "safe" is supposed to mean!

 

[timmyid2]

I went ahead and did it... sort of.

All sex was "safe" thanks to the abundance of condoms. There was no rope play, and even though I brought floggers, clothes pins and other items, the men were more interested in blow jobs than anything else.

There was one Russian guy who was into tit play. We briefly discussed limits and safewords before starting. We played with each other for 15 minutes or so, biting and pinching and twisting each other's nipples. He came on my chest as I took the clips off his nipples. As he came he reached out and swatted the clips off of mine to share the pain. My howl of pain seemed to push him to new heights as he bucked.

It was much too risky as originally planned, even with the breakaway clasps on the wrist and ankle cuffs.

Thanks for the input folks.

 

[clistenovena]

I guess you didn't really want to be talked out of anything.

Now that you've done it, you may very well be tempted to do it again. And next time, you may want to "up the ante" to feel even more of the thrill (not that I'd know anything about that).

Just play safer than safe.