Talk dirty without being cheesy

[muskokan]

Okay so.. my birthday is coming up and I'm looking forward to some birthday nookie with a FwB of mine. He's previously tried to coax me into taking a bit of control and telling him what I want but I've failed pretty hardcore in the past.

So both for my own experience and because I know he'll be into it, I want to really try and take a bit of control and be more verbal.

My only concern is that it will sound supremely cheesy and be more of a moment than getting him going.

Any suggestions or tips, things you like to hear.. or even just telling me I'm over thinking it.. if I am.

 

[rustywilliams]

The biggest turn-on is a girl telling you exactly what turns her on, not what she thinks you want to hear. Maybe just try to blurt out what you feel. What is it that really turns you on?

 

[kodos9000]

Remember anything sounds cheesy out of the bedroom. My GF is, in my mind a pro at talking dirty and expressing exactly what she wants and when she wants it. But if she were to talk that way out of the moment or bedroom she would sound very cheesy.

All you have to do is say it with conviction. You have to really mean what you are saying, you have to sell it.

When she says "I love you big cock!" or "Get over here and give me that beautiful cock!" she means it and says it with conviction. So it works.

I cant' tell you for sure what will work for you, all I can say is, a confident woman is a sexy woman. Be confident in what you are doing and demand stisfaction from your lover through your words.

Hope this helps.

Kodos.

 

[Cleardiamond]

from a fellow woman

I know its hard, but sometimes once you get going it flows out easier and easier

I used to have a hard time saying dirty things but i've gotten a lot better.

just remember whoever your with just wants to know you are enjoying yourself and that they are pleasing you..

I like to use "mmm yes fuck my pussy baby..." or one up that and say "your" it gives them a feeling of control which can be a turn on..

or "fuck i love your cock" or "mm yes smack my ass please"

just try it out and see which kinds of dirty things you are most comfortable with.

also a little bit of alcohol tends to bring my dirty out, lowered inhabitions help get rid of the nervous embarassments

 

[kodos9000]

I know its hard, but sometimes once you get going it flows out easier and easier

I used to have a hard time saying dirty things but i've gotten a lot better.

just remember whoever your with just wants to know you are enjoying yourself and that they are pleasing you..

I like to use "mmm yes fuck my pussy baby..." or one up that and say "your" it gives them a feeling of control which can be a turn on..

or "fuck i love your cock" or "mm yes smack my ass please"

just try it out and see which kinds of dirty things you are most comfortable with.

also a little bit of alcohol tends to bring my dirty out, lowered inhabitions help get rid of the nervous embarassments

Nice!

 

[muskokan]

Perhaps I should ask how to overcome my inability to let the words escape my lips no matter how much I try.... i took a trial run at this today with a different partner than I'll be seeing on my birthday and although the moans and gasps may have had slightly more resemblance to words than normal... words they were not...

should I practice in the mirror (I can only imagine how freaking awkward I would feel doing that) or.. what.. AGH the pressure...

 

[kodos9000]

Perhaps I should ask how to overcome my inability to let the words escape my lips no matter how much I try.... i took a trial run at this today with a different partner than I'll be seeing on my birthday and although the moans and gasps may have had slightly more resemblance to words than normal... words they were not...

should I practice in the mirror (I can only imagine how freaking awkward I would feel doing that) or.. what.. AGH the pressure...

No pressure. Remember sex is supposed to be fun and erotic. Just let fly with passion. Start small like "Oh you are so big!" just don't laugh after what ever you do!!!!!!!!!

Complement him, guys love it, All guys. Tell him he's the biggest even if he's the smallest. Tell him how much you want to suck his cock! No guy in the world will find that cheesy. Most of all though you have to be confident. I truly believe that confidence will sell it even if you don't buy it!

Best of luck and hell talking to yourself in the mirror can't hurt hell with a few laughs it might take the edge off!

Kodos.

 

[old_scratch]

Okay so.. my birthday is coming up and I'm looking forward to some birthday nookie with a FwB of mine. He's previously tried to coax me into taking a bit of control and telling him what I want but I've failed pretty hardcore in the past.

So both for my own experience and because I know he'll be into it, I want to really try and take a bit of control and be more verbal.

My only concern is that it will sound supremely cheesy and be more of a moment than getting him going.

Any suggestions or tips, things you like to hear.. or even just telling me I'm over thinking it.. if I am.

First of all, by all indications, you appear to be female, and if that is the case, you’re the one with the nookie!

If he wants you to take control, words aren’t necessary. If he really wants you to be in control, without talking, pull his pants down, push him back on the bed, and mount him. Pin his shoulders to the bed with your hands; then in the guttural voice of a she-demon: command him “FUCK ME! FUCK ME!”

And if you really want to be kinky, when he cums, dismount him, then by his hair, pull his head to your crotch and command him: “LICK IT”!

And if he really wants to be controlled, you will get the ride of your life.

Happy Birthday.

 

[muskokan]

First of all, by all indications, you appear to be female, and if that is the case, you’re the one with the nookie!

If he wants you to take control, words aren’t necessary. If he really wants you to be in control, without talking, pull his pants down, push him back on the bed, and mount him. Pin his shoulders to the bed with your hands; then in the guttural voice of a she-demon: command him “FUCK ME! FUCK ME!”

And if you really want to be kinky, when he cums, dismount him, then by his hair, pull his head to your crotch and command him: “LICK IT”!

And if he really wants to be controlled, you will get the ride of your life.

Happy Birthday.

I'm going for a softer boundary, and looking for tips because he's asked me to "call it" or "tell him what I want". I'm not looking to play domme at this point though...

the more I think about it the more I think he might... after a while, be into that but for now not so much. I've been playing the ideas through my head, going over what I could say, I've yet to speak anything out loud even while getting off to the idea...

Thanks for the advice. I'm looking forward to this opportunity much more than dreading it, and I'll certainly be the only one disappointed if it doesn't happen, he's not expecting it at all.

 

[qrayze]

I've yet to speak anything out loud even while getting off to the idea...

maybe you should.

being loud and vocal when you're fantasizing during masturbation will get your mind used to it. By the time your birthday comes around, you'll be saying stuff and not even realizing it.

And if you're alone when you practice, there's no one around to think what you're saying is cheesy.

 

[pwr2theblondes]

I used to have the same problem..I would want to talk dirty but I just couldn't physically get the words out. I suggest not just saying it in front of the mirror because that will probably make you just feel self concious but just pretend he is in front of you. Put on some sexy lingerie make sure you feel sexy and just pretend he's there and say what you would say while masturbating or touching yourself. That is how I got over my fear of it. I was finally comfortable to say it in bed. Also maybe listening to the audio section in the Literotica stories will give you some ideas of what to say or how to say things.

Hope that helped..Good luck!

 

[muskokan]

I used to have the same problem..I would want to talk dirty but I just couldn't physically get the words out. I suggest not just saying it in front of the mirror because that will probably make you just feel self concious but just pretend he is in front of you. Put on some sexy lingerie make sure you feel sexy and just pretend he's there and say what you would say while masturbating or touching yourself. That is how I got over my fear of it. I was finally comfortable to say it in bed. Also maybe listening to the audio section in the Literotica stories will give you some ideas of what to say or how to say things.

Hope that helped..Good luck!

Thanks,

I tried this last night and although my volume didn't get that much over a whisper I managed it! It's the longest I've spent on self-love in a long time.. maybe even ever (unless you count those times that I've fallen asleep and woken up to finish later)

Probably going to give it a try again tonight

 

[Carnevil9]

Use lots of K words: Fuck, Cock, Suck, Smack, Kunt (hey, I've seen it spelled that way!), etc. They seem to be "dirtier" somehow. The brutality of the K sound, I guess.

If you have trouble "being" the dirty talker, try being someone else! Build a little persona in your mind, and slip into that persona when you need it. Sort of like method acting.

Good luck! And happy birthday!

 

[Elaya]

I like what pretty much everyone else has said.
I'd avoid a mirror for now. But definilty practice by yourself, out loud. If you do everynight, it will get easier.

Sometimes also, I think telling him/letting him know what you want is easiest by showing him. I don't think I could yet masturbate for a guy.. heck I barely touch myself.. (I rub against a toy) but figure out, imagine, exactly how it is you wish he'd touch you. How he might carress your hips.. tummy.. follow the curves of your body .. trail fingers along thighs .. ect..

Then do it in reverse. Do to him what you think you'd like done to you by touch.

Also.. read more stories on here.. I personally can't recommended "dirty" stories, but maybe others on here can tell you what they like.

Make note of what you like in the stories, and go from there?

 

[PhilGarlic]

how about

how about you write it down in the form of a story, go back edit and re write as necessary, when you want to do it for real you will have built up a bank of "useful phrases" to draw on.
Not sure sex should be so clinical though !
Just a thought