Tales form an absent mind

[Liar]

So here I was, back from my weekly hour at the gym (I'm trying, ok?), and thought to myself, "My, some coffee would be great." So off to the kitchen sink I go, to line up the nessecities: A nice big coffee mug, my trusted prezzo brewer, the water heater, and last but not least, the awesome Kenyan beans and new flashy grinder that I got for Christmas.

Or so I thought.

I open a cupboard to retrieve the cup. So far so good. Then the brewer. Smashing. Then I open another cupboard for the coffee, and watch my hands retrieve, in the following order:

Rye bread
Garlic
Curry powder
Pickled ginger
Cereal
Strawberry preserve
A cube of chicken stock

Not until my hands are reaching for the toaster, my brain catches up with the action and asks me what the hell I think I'm doing. My subconscious just shrugs and blankly refuses to take responsibility, and I promptly put the random shit back into the cupboard.

I still can't even begin to imagine what those ingredients together was supposed to have become, if I hadn't stopped myself.

Any suggestions?

 

[rgraham666]

Something outlawed by the Geneva Conventions I think.

 

[jomar]

Fruitcake.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Sounds like something sweet, something savoury-- are you preggers?

"A cube of chicken stock"-- was it in a box, or just laying there on the shelve all by it's ownsome?

 

[R. Richard]

Obviously you have contracted a severe case of the Dagwood Bumstead syndrome.

 

[Guest]

So here I was, back from my weekly hour at the gym (I'm trying, ok?), and thought to myself, "My, some coffee would be great." So off to the kitchen sink I go, to line up the nessecities: A nice big coffee mug, my trusted prezzo brewer, the water heater, and last but not least, the awesome Kenyan beans and new flashy grinder that I got for Christmas.

Or so I thought.

I open a cupboard to retrieve the cup. So far so good. Then the brewer. Smashing. Then I open another cupboard for the coffee, and watch my hands retrieve, in the following order:

Rye bread
Garlic
Curry powder
Pickled ginger
Cereal
Strawberry preserve
A cube of chicken stock

Not until my hands are reaching for the toaster, my brain catches up with the action and asks me what the hell I think I'm doing. My subconscious just shrugs and blankly refuses to take responsibility, and I promptly put the random shit back into the cupboard.

I still can't even begin to imagine what those ingredients together was supposed to have become, if I hadn't stopped myself.

Any suggestions?

Snort the curry powder.
Toss the garlic over your left shoulder.
Throw away the pickled ginger. Please.
Save the cereal and strawberry preserves for breakfast.
Feed the rye bread to the pigeons. If they'll eat it.
Put the cube of chicken stock back in the cupboard. That's where they reproduce.

 

[Liar]

Throw away the pickled ginger. Please.

Whaat? But it's yummylicious.

 

[Guest]

Whaat? But it's yummylicious.

Actually my hubby just said, "If Ginger can't hold her liquor it's her own damn fault. I always liked Mary Ann better, anyway."

 

[bluebell]

Did you actually get any coffee outta the ordeal? Or were you just so mystified that someone possessed all these items and kept them in the same cupboard...and that it was you?

Any suggestions?

Really really really gross haggis?

This thread just seems to pose more and more questions for me. I'm starting to feel like I'm on the receiving end of a conversation with Javier Bardem's character in No Country For Old Men. No one shoot me, please.

 

[maggot420]

Did you actually get any coffee outta the ordeal? Or were you just so mystified that someone possessed all these items and kept them in the same cupboard...and that it was you?


Really really really gross haggis?

This thread just seems to pose more and more questions for me. I'm starting to feel like I'm on the receiving end of a conversation with Javier Bardem's character in No Country For Old Men. No one shoot me, please.

You don't like haggis? Or porridge?
You're just so weird.

 

[bluebell]

You don't like haggis? Or porridge?
You're just so weird.

I'm weird? I'M weird???!!!
I just got told I was weird by a maggot with harry legs. Truly, a life-altering experience.

Come heah fo' yo' whuppin', boy.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

It's this week between Christmas and New Year. No one should be held responsible for the possible insanity that could occur.

My sympathies. Perhaps an 'Old Mother Hubbard' limerick will find it's way into this one?

 

[mrklin]

Yeah, but did you get a cup of coffee?


Life's too short for bad coffee - words to live by...

 

[Boxlicker101]

When that kind of thing happens to me, I just call it "A senior moment".

 

[neonlyte]

So here I was, back from my weekly hour at the gym (I'm trying, ok?), and thought to myself, "My, some coffee would be great." So off to the kitchen sink I go, to line up the nessecities: A nice big coffee mug, my trusted prezzo brewer, the water heater, and last but not least, the awesome Kenyan beans and new flashy grinder that I got for Christmas.

Or so I thought.

I open a cupboard to retrieve the cup. So far so good. Then the brewer. Smashing. Then I open another cupboard for the coffee, and watch my hands retrieve, in the following order:

Rye bread
Garlic
Curry powder
Pickled ginger
Cereal
Strawberry preserve
A cube of chicken stock

Not until my hands are reaching for the toaster, my brain catches up with the action and asks me what the hell I think I'm doing. My subconscious just shrugs and blankly refuses to take responsibility, and I promptly put the random shit back into the cupboard.

I still can't even begin to imagine what those ingredients together was supposed to have become, if I hadn't stopped myself.

Any suggestions?

Cut out the exercising.

 

[Liar]

Yeah, but did you get a cup of coffee?

Eventually. And it was the third best cup of coffee I've ever had.

Cut out the exercising.

I knew it.