Taking Financial Control
- Thread starter unknooown
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Netzach
>semiotics?
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I think that's it. I did too as a retailer and as a vendor and that totally disenchanted it for me.
I *can* shop. I can even enjoy it again a little, esp. if we're shopping for M's girl stuff as well as mine, but that whole shopping as recreation thing is gone. I used to spend hours *trying things on in the store* - man I have NO patience.
OSG I don't think buying things for someone is that onerous, it would be much harder if you had to be there it had to feel like some kind of a major decision you had to try everything on and show - etc etc. That would be some Dom's idea of nirvana I know - just not mine. Not on a regular basis anyway.
unknooown I think your idea is a good start - just the idea that all your debit card spending is being seen is kind of a minor perpetual mindfuck if you remember to make it one.
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TalyisBagley
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God Forbid you Die
It is to my understanding. And this is what has been taught to me when I raised this issue. That it is very important to have a separate account. God forbid you die. The bank will freeze your assets, even if you have a joint account. Sometimes it can take up to an year for it to unfreeze.
Would you really want to leave your beloved in a place where she is without resources. A lot can happen in a year without having any money, you can leave her in destitute in the event that you die.
It is to my understanding. And this is what has been taught to me when I raised this issue. That it is very important to have a separate account. God forbid you die. The bank will freeze your assets, even if you have a joint account. Sometimes it can take up to an year for it to unfreeze.
Would you really want to leave your beloved in a place where she is without resources. A lot can happen in a year without having any money, you can leave her in destitute in the event that you die.
ShyVixen
Subbly Bookworm
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I don't think it would work in the long term if I had to get on my knees and basically beg every time I wanted to buy a book. I've seen my mother go to my father for money and be refused which resulted in her terrible spending habits...and I wouldn't put that kind of power in someone else's hands. And at the moment, with paying off debts, it wouldn't be fair to anyone.
I've been managing household finances since I was 15 - budgeting, planning, sorting/paying bills is the norm for me. There are times when I would like to hand over the reins though. I've worried about money since my early teens, it gets so tiring after a while.
The fantasy in my head sounds very good - a PYL who is the main breadwinner, who pays the majority of the larger bills, deals with all the large financial decisions. I could work part time, contribute to the smaller bills and run the day-to-day household things (eg, cleaning, making sure we had everything we needed) - after all it wouldn't be fair for someone who is working full time to have to deal with those issues as well. A joint account for bills, separate accounts for everything else. Depending on how long term it was, so discussion of retirement and pension funds. But that is all just a fantasy - how I would feel about it in reality...I'm not sure.
Dearelliot
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in the best world...The male should have plenty of money and the wife should have easy access to it and not have to work, she would have others clean her home and do the menial tasks for her. she would use her free time to dress and look good for him ...and provide a special place for him to return to after a hard days battle in the outside world..the woman working may sound nice but it does detract from her ability to entertain..I also believe once she is over the age of 30 a woman who goes shopping often and buys the things she likes is a happier and sexier lady!
Bandit58
Sir's wonder woman
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*sigh* well one can dream....
Sir often jokes we need another sub to take care of the cleaning, but oh well it'll never happen
Lizzie_Borden
Real & Spectacular
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Jeebus.
I couldn't imagine a more boring life.
At least let me do the housework if I'm stuck at home all day!
Bette_coquette
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In my previous marriage, I always kept my own account. I always had money in it. I had investments in my name only. We had a joint account that was used for household expenses. He had his won account and the balance in it was usually $100 or less.
If my ex had told me to close my accounts I'd have walked out on him then instead of later. No one will ever have financial control over me. Never, ever.
If my ex had told me to close my accounts I'd have walked out on him then instead of later. No one will ever have financial control over me. Never, ever.
Bette_coquette
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Have I been transported back to 1958?
rosco rathbone
1. f3e5 2. g4??
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Bette_coquette
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Netzach
>semiotics?
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How much prescription medication does this entail?
satindesire
Queen of Geeks
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This is Mister's dream life for himself and me. He's super into the "done" look, hair styled, nails done, designer clothes, etc. I thank my lucky stars that I'm one of those "shopping princesses" that can totally relish this kind of lifestyle.
sb2009
Really Wierd Chick
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We have a combo deal.
I am really bad with money. Various reasons - impulse control; i like to treat people; i like to buy gifts; i have a weakness for being pampered; need I go on??
However, and Graceanne will understand this, because he's in the miltary and leave a alot, he can't control it all - I am the one who buys the stuff for the house, the kid's clothes, our clothes, food, pays bills, all that stuff.
So it's a really hard balencing act. He would love it if I were one of them thar financial genious. Instead he has Jack who comes home with three dried beans traded for a cow.
We had a lovely uncomfortable discussion tonight about something I did financially that was not agreed upon.
It's a work in progress.
That said, we have power of attorney, I'm on all accounts, we have credit together and separate, and life insurance, survivor benefits, etc. He doesn't want me to be destitute, he just wants me to manage money better LOL
I am really bad with money. Various reasons - impulse control; i like to treat people; i like to buy gifts; i have a weakness for being pampered; need I go on??
However, and Graceanne will understand this, because he's in the miltary and leave a alot, he can't control it all - I am the one who buys the stuff for the house, the kid's clothes, our clothes, food, pays bills, all that stuff.
So it's a really hard balencing act. He would love it if I were one of them thar financial genious. Instead he has Jack who comes home with three dried beans traded for a cow.
We had a lovely uncomfortable discussion tonight about something I did financially that was not agreed upon.
It's a work in progress.
That said, we have power of attorney, I'm on all accounts, we have credit together and separate, and life insurance, survivor benefits, etc. He doesn't want me to be destitute, he just wants me to manage money better LOL
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
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Seriously. I'm a stay at home mom and I'D be bored out of my mind.
Well, not really. I tend to entertain myself. I'd be gone all the time doing volunteer stuff. There is ALWAYS something to do if you look hard enough.
Yeah, pretty much. Minus the spending money badly thing. I can, and have, easily overspent on buying myself tea from jack in the box, but I'm not one to spend large amounts of money where there isn't any. Plus I LOVE a bargain. It annoys me to pay market value on anything. Everything in our house, minus K's stupid big screen tv, I got on sale, or at a garage sale, or via craigslist. We need a china hutch, and my mother in law was taking about where we could get one for cheap and K was all 'yeah, I'm not worried. [grace] will find us a nice one for an affordable price off craiglist.
I
craigslist. And freecycle. And Big Lots and overstock.com. Dearelliot
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"At least do the house work" sure, take up dancing, singing, learn to play the piano...Jog or play tennis, no one says you cant leave the house..no one said you cant have friends...As for finances well from the day we first started living together in 1958...the money has alway been in one pot, not that there was much of it for several years. She handles the money, we discuss large purchases...later in life extravagant purchases. We both worked all of our lives, I made a little more than she did, but for a long time there wasnt enough to worry about. I cant imagine having a partner I couldnt trust with the money. I would call such a person a visitor.
ownedsubgal
lost little girl
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well, he might not need the Rx pad if he has a cellar large enough to store all the vodka.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
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well, he might not need the Rx pad if he has a cellar large enough to store all the vodka.
That would work for me!
I discussed this with her over the weekend and we decided she will be keeping her account in her name. As far as I'm concerned, she can just have her paychecks deposited automatically each pay period and just let her savings build. As long as she's with me she will have absolutely no reason to touch that money.
I would like it if she didn't work. My mother didn't work and our house was always clean, dinner was always elaborate, and she was available to run errands or do anything that my father or her children needed her to do. My fiancee, on the other hand, has told me flat out that she will never not work, and if I'm looking for a housewife I ought to look elsewhere. I guess I have to admire her drive.
Bette_coquette
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And I admire her balls.
ownedsubgal
lost little girl
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mine does too, even though i don't get to actually keep any of the money. just that i've earned it gives me that little "good job!" high.
