Taking applications for the postion of Live in, Lesbian Lover.

[Starfish]

Irie is getting a third shift job and that means I'll be here at night...




ALONE!!!!!



Okay, so I can't handle that.

I have two dogs, yes, but I am still freaked out.
I know Kenjutsu, but I don't have an acutal sword yet, and besides, what is that against a gun? nothing. I am not that good. Bullet deflection class isn't for a year or so.



So, as a result I am requesting that any women who are bisexual or lesbian in nature, that want to be my nighttime lover/daytime companion please drop your application off here.

Thank you.

 

[Saint Peter]

PICK ME!!!!!

 

[lovetoread]

What kind of benefits are ya offering?

 

[Starfish]

where is your sweet pussy?
I don't see a pussy. I see a cock. What gives.


Why do you have horns under your halo?

 

[Starfish]

What kind of benefits are ya offering?

Hot sex and good food.



I forgot, this is a voleunteer position.

*numbers drop like flies in a cloud of DDT dust*

 

[Never]

You seem to emphasize your desire for security. Would a woman inquiring after this position be required to know defensive techniques, or would that simply be a perk?

 

[SaucyWench]

I'll do anything but the windows.

SaucyWench

 

[Saint Peter]

PICK ME!!!

I'm one mean bitch.

 

[Starfish]

That would be a perk, never.

See, the only reason I am playing it up like I need another person here is because I need someone to witness my badass defense skillz. What good are they if no one sees them?

But, yes, I'd like it if she had a big gun or a lot of martial arts training, because the above line is a load of horse pucky.

 

[binkley]

I'll convert.

 

[Simply Me]

I meet absolutely none of the qualifications, but wanted to jump in here and say hello to a familiar face. I could, however, be your personal nurse should the need ever arise.

I give a mean bed bath..

 

[Starfish]

I'll do anything but the windows.

SaucyWench

I don't do them either, so there is no standard that you have to live up to here.

 

[Starfish]

I meet absolutely none of the qualifications, but wanted to jump in here and say hello to a familiar face. I could, however, be your personal nurse should the need ever arise.

I give a mean bed bath..

IT IS SOOOOOOO GOOOOOD TO SEE YOU SWEETIE!


I know I am yelling, but man, it is so nice to see you here.

I have been feeling a bit under the weather, so your calling it perfect timing.

Wanna take my temp?

 

[Saint Peter]

I give a mean bed bath..

How mean?

 

[penguindance]

 

[SaucyWench]

I don't do them either, so there is no standard that you have to live up to here.

Whew! I was worried about that 'cause I leave 'em streaky...I do housecleaning nude...does that count? I give a great massage, have armored combat training and am pretty darn accurate with a mace.

SaucyWench

 

[Simply Me]

IT IS SOOOOOOO GOOOOOD TO SEE YOU SWEETIE!


I know I am yelling, but man, it is so nice to see you here.

I have been feeling a bit under the weather, so your calling it perfect timing.

Wanna take my temp?

Thank you fishie, it's nice to be back, even if it is just for a little while. I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well, but I would love to take your temp, sweetie.






Bend over..

 

[Simply Me]

How mean?

You will never look at a soapy hand the same way again..

 

[Starfish]

Whew! I was worried about that 'cause I leave 'em streaky...I do housecleaning nude...does that count? I give a great massage, have armored combat training and am pretty darn accurate with a mace.

SaucyWench

WOW! You're as good as hired!



Never is going to be disgruntled. She is still in the interview asking questions.

OH, I guess I can hire more than one woman for this job and we'll just set up a lesbian colony or somthing, and we'll have one day a week be 'Man' day, and they can come and cum, de dum de dum.

 

[SaucyWench]

WOW! You're as good as hired!



Never is going to be disgruntled. She is still in the interview asking questions.

OH, I guess I can hire more than one woman for this job and we'll just set up a lesbian colony or somthing, and we'll have one day a week be 'Man' day, and they can come and cum, de dum de dum.

Awww, tell Never we can share duties...I do need an occasional day off.

Hmmm...lesbian colony, clothing optional? That could work.

SaucyWench

 

[Saint Peter]

I am going to call the ACLU. Where does it say just because I have a Johnson I can't be a lesbian.





Simply Me:

I think I love you.

 

[Never]

Starfish:
"That would be a perk, never.

See, the only reason I am playing it up like I need another person here is because I need someone to witness my badass defense skillz. What good are they if no one sees them?

But, yes, I'd like it if she had a big gun or a lot of martial arts training, because the above line is a load of horse pucky."

This is the way I figure it:
People who rob houses don’t brake into houses with people inside. The ones that break into houses that are obviously occupied are either murders or rapists, or they’re really high. My chances of surviving a situation like that are nonexistent so my only interest would be to fuck up my attacker as much as possible.

 

[Never]

You rejected me.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

pick me pick me!!

I'm a trained masseuse, I can cook, I appreciate your art, I like to clean.... and I'm oh so good with women..

 

[Starfish]

I didn't fucking reject you Never. I imagined you being angry if I rejected you.
I actually accept you.

I also accept vixenshe and who ever else wants to come and live at the lesbian colony.

Yes, bi-ladies, we do have a 'dick day'.