Take In Progress

[The Huntsman]

Good Saturday morning, to you all!

Here is a brief little poem, for those of you with mousy attention spans.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47732

Ihmara

 

[smithpeter]

I like this poem, Huntsman. Has anyone decided if it is polite to ask what things are about? No matter. I offer this interpretation.

You want something she has.
She gives you little resistance and on her knees suggests options. The prey becomes the prize both keeping you out of jail and providing a nightlight that will forever illume midnight readings.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

WOW

Is that poem about what I think it's about?

Either way, I really liked the way it resonated with the ear and comforted the mind like the rill-song of late evening water, like a friend of mine puts it...

 

[The Huntsman]

Thanks

I appreciate the responses.

I have declared that it is not only polite to ask and suggest, but it is also commanded!

Smithpeter, from my subject position, this statement is an excellent summary:
"The prey becomes the prize" or the "prey is falsely prized." The prize is releasing the prey.

As I reflect on this poem, I see an interesting theme - one that I was not conscious of as I wrote it down. But again, I encourage, nay demand, various interpretations. I daresay it is possible that your eyes more clearly see the designs of my heart upon the world.

Some musings:
The diamond is synonymous with the speaker, but the speaker is not a part of the movement at all (a passive orb).
The lover possesses the diamond -
the lover cannot let it go (the crucifix, the tension).
The speaker incorrectly (of his Ego) believes that he has "stolen" his lover's affections - has secured her heart - because she does not let him go. Proof enough for most of us, no?

When the lover lets the diamond go, she is freed - and she frees the speaker from a disproportionate relationship (despite his inability to understand her generous action). He was her diamond/prize, while her independent light was compromised by illuminating his physical yet transparent surface.

I caused the rhyme between "thief" and "relief" to indicate that the diamond/speaker was actually relieved to have been let go - because he could not have freed himself, no matter how unhealthy the relationship became.
_

Lauren, your "friend" has quite a way with words

Lauren, I hesitated to add my views on this poem because I *really* want to know what you think this poem is about. Please, give me your first reaction, regardless of what I've wriiten above. I implore thee, lady! Lend it thy fullest breath!

Ihmara

 

[Fairytat]

My two cents

Like a diamond
in her hand -

Rolls off the tongue

I was a grasping thief -
until she dropped
and let it go.

With the setup of "like a diamond in her hand" I was expecting something more then "I was a grasphing thief." I shrugged and continued but was stopped when she "let it go." It confused me. I assumed that YOU were "like a diamond in her hand" and then suddenly there was the introduction of something else.

Then relief, relief,
she let it go -
her emptied hand,
with its own light
diamond-like
began to glow.

I really didn't understand what you were getting at here. Your own interpretation of the poem made more sense then the poem itself. Poetry is abstract but at some point it needs to be anchored in concrete language.


Huntsman,

I'm normally a fair hand at understanding the poet's message but it took me several reads before I began to get a glimmer of what you were writing about. I was grateful for your explanation as it made it a lot clearer for me. At the very least this was an interesting read.

Fairytat

 

[The Huntsman]

as the poet

I thank you for your confusion.

Because it is my poem, perhaps I do understand a little too easily - to the detriment of the reader.

And so, I will go further:
"Then relief, relief,
she let it go -"
- fortuitiously she lets the diamond drop.
Both her relief, and the implied relief of the diamond itself.

"her emptied hand,
with its own light[,]
diamond-like[,]
began to glow."
- independent of a lover's constraints,
of reference first through him,
her light organically shines twice as strong.

Were you really confused?

Ihmara

 

[Fairytat]

Arches brow

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