Sympathy Needed for Exhausted Mommy about to Beat Kids with Hockey Stick

[Guest]

Nahh. Not really.

But at this moment I'm at the end of my proverbial rope.

My brilliant and obnoxious offspring know so well how to push my buttons.

With school starting tomorrow - for them and me - and coach husband gone with football two-a-day practices, the bulk of preparedness has fallen to me. That's typical mom stuff, no worries, but apparently I have reached it. The end.

Enough. Enough! ENOUGH!

Son swallowed one of sister's new earrings. Damn it. It's small enough - we'll let nature take it's course, but sister is pretty angry about the whole affair.

Son was also a major pain in the rear at every place we shopped today, including reaching out to grab everything as we passed. Finally I gently shoved the shopping cart into a display of jackets - figured it would stop him? Nope. "That was fun. Do it again, mommy!"

And NO, he doesn't like the way his shoes fit. And NO, he won't try them on again. Damn it.

And his socks don't fit - he hates them.

And the shorts don't fit - he's so slender when he stood up they fell off his skinny little butt.

And no, I'm not going to buy you another Gameboy Game - not tonight anyway, bucko. You'll have to wait for your birthday for that.

And please don't make those explosion noises as we go down the aisle of Walmart - you spit all over that lady back there.

We aren't having pop-tarts for dinner tonight, I'm sorry. (Though I may have them with rum after you go to sleep). Sit down in the cart!

And daughter, no, you don't need to bring all 400 pages of notebook paper tomorrow. Six pencils are great, yes - leave the other 12 dozen at home.

I bought you the $15 calculator, I don't really think you need the $50 one that graphs - not for sixth grade, anyway.

No, you don't need to get your ears pierced again tonight, let's save that for a few days, ok? I'm sorry your brother swallowed one.

Oh - do you really want to paint your fingernails black for the first day of school? Really? That will go so well with your - ah, never mind.

No, your friends don't need to come over tonight - call them instead. The house is a mess, I'm swamped, and I don't want any more children running afoot. You'll see them tomorrow morning. Ahh!

*Edited for deleted obscenities*

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Deep breaths... in thru the nose... out thru the mouth.


(Rum and Pop-Tarts sounds good right now. )

 

[TheEarl]

<long prolonged hug to give Sarahh a second to breath and relax her head on my chest>

You have my empathy.

The Earl

 

[Liar]

Good grief. I'm glad I haven't spawned yet.

Feel any better after writing that? It usually helps.

 

[blackhaus7]

For a whole lot of reasons, I'm glad I have a son. One. Daughter(s) would ruin everything for me.
Son's going to college as a sophomore. Not because of that, but just because, tonight is Beck's and Black Haus.

 

[Guest]

Thank you, gentlemen. Deeply breathing. Sigh.

It does feel better to write it out - geez they're insane the past week.

But it makes sense. School is starting, much excitement, they feed off my stress levels, more excitement (ok - somehow I managed to type excrement instead of excitement - hmmm).

I have a feeling this is quite the norm for many families right now. And tomorrow morning I'll be sad as my 6-year-old goes off to class. I'll take pictures. (Daughter doesn't care - doesn't want me in the same geographical location.)

Anyway, I do have a hockey stick. A gift from one of the semi-pro players around here when we went to a game last year. It's taller than me, and if utilized properly would make an effective weapon. Shame I can't use it on 'em.

Is it any wonder I took up martial arts training to deal with life's little - frustrations?

 

[TxRad]

For a whole lot of reasons, I'm glad I have a son. One. Daughter(s) would ruin everything for me.
Son's going to college as a sophomore. Not because of that, but just because, tonight is Beck's and Black Haus.

Why did my mind put Black & decker in there the first time I read that....

Sarah... Hang in there gal, it'll get better...........in about 15 years....

 

[cloudy]

I feel your pain, truly.

Little Spiderman started kindergarten a week ago today. Since then, I've been kicked awake every morning, before it even gets light outside, and he yells, "We need to go! Everyone else is already there!"

Keep in mind that no, I am not going to get dressed and get my butt out of the house to take him to school at 5:30 so that he is satisfied that it's not going on without him.

They had a fire drill yesterday. What were they thinking? They've scarred these poor kindergartners for life! They hadn't even gotten used to the whole idea of school yet, and now they're convincing these little kids that there's going to be a fire in the school. Shit.

 

[mismused]

delete

 

[blackhaus7]

Why did my mind put Black & decker in there the first time I read that

I assume you've not been introduced to the pleasure of German blackberry schnapps.

How ya doing, Tx?

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

. . . They had a fire drill yesterday. . . they're convincing these little kids that there's going to be a fire in the school. Shit.

Just now it is thrilling concept.

In later years it will become a fading hope.

No wonder that little people who survive the Education System grow up to be cynical.

 

[CharleyH]

Just now it is thrilling concept.

In later years it will become a fading hope.

No wonder that little people who survive the Education System grow up to be cynical.

Are we talking Oompa lumpa's now?


Wise words, though.

 

[rgraham666]

(Making that strange face that means I'm desperately swallowing a grin)

*HUGS* for sarahh.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[cloudy]

I have actually threatened to sell my children to the gypsies... to their face even. So put down the hocky stick... take a deep breath and rememeber that they are all angels when they sleep. Still doesn't stop you from screaming "And just What part of NO did you not get???"

The threat I always make is that I'm gonna stake 'em out in the yard with a "Free to Good Home" sign.

 

[HollyHawkk]

Hey! mine are doing the same thing... I am thinking about running away but, I only have $1.92 left after all the school shopping HOW FAR DO YOU THINK I CAN GET?

School doesn't start until the 29th, and its been raining for the last two days.

Sorry I am no help... just didn't want you to think you are the only one.

 

[minsue]

*hugs* Sarahh.

The childless person's suggestion? Valium in the milk. Or a tranq gun loaded with Ativan syringes, whichever.

My next door neighbors when I was growing up would put beer in the baby's bottle, presumably when she was teething...


Lot's o' *HUGS* for all parents teetering on the edge of sanity

 

[logophile]

Hugs for Sarahhh...
And a playful smack on the ass now that the kids are asleep!

 

[Guest]

Thanks, everyone. I'm better.

After my husband got home I returned the items that didn't fit, managed to hit two other stores and got lucky finding better shoes and a decent kid clothing sale. Just before they closed.

We're set for tomorrow. And the rest of the week.

And logo's right. Kids are asleep, I've had a drink, I'm slowly regaining my inner peace and looking forward to Poptarts for breakfast.

(I just won't think about the caloric content.)

 

[Dar~]

I have actually threatened to sell my children to the gypsies... to their face even. So put down the hocky stick... take a deep breath and rememeber that they are all angels when they sleep. Still doesn't stop you from screaming "And just What part of NO did you not get???"

I always tell my daughter I am going to hang her upsde down by her toenails and whip her with net nooodles.

 

[The_old_man]

Just keep in mind that you will have full revenge when they become parents themselves.

My wife and I truly enjoyed our children's complaints about theirs.

 

[matriarch]

This is quite frightening.
I had managed to forget all that stuff (mine are now 29 and 25, and well out of my hair), but this thread brought it all back.

The glee when the eldest started school, and my confusion as I watched the other mothers crying as their darlings walked in......whereas I had a huge grin, and couldn't wait to get back to put the baby back to bed, put my feet up with coffee (I did used to drink it way back then), radio and crossword in the paper.

The way I had to eventually chastise them with physical threats, be it a saucepan or a rolling pin.......they never took me seriously. *sigh*.

It does get better.......but worse at the same time, but in totally different ways.

You just wait until the hormones kick in. You'll be desperately wishing for the simple days of shopping hell with young'uns.

 

[CharleyH]

Thanks, everyone. I'm better.

After my husband got home I returned the items that didn't fit, managed to hit two other stores and got lucky finding better shoes and a decent kid clothing sale. Just before they closed.

We're set for tomorrow. And the rest of the week.

And logo's right. Kids are asleep, I've had a drink, I'm slowly regaining my inner peace and looking forward to Poptarts for breakfast.

(I just won't think about the caloric content.)

What? No oompaloomps.

 

[sharingfantasies]

Thank you, gentlemen. Deeply breathing. Sigh.

It does feel better to write it out - geez they're insane the past week.

But it makes sense. School is starting, much excitement, they feed off my stress levels, more excitement (ok - somehow I managed to type excrement instead of excitement - hmmm).

I have a feeling this is quite the norm for many families right now. And tomorrow morning I'll be sad as my 6-year-old goes off to class. I'll take pictures. (Daughter doesn't care - doesn't want me in the same geographical location.)

Anyway, I do have a hockey stick. A gift from one of the semi-pro players around here when we went to a game last year. It's taller than me, and if utilized properly would make an effective weapon. Shame I can't use it on 'em.

Is it any wonder I took up martial arts training to deal with life's little - frustrations?

Don't hit them with the hockey stick then, it will break. Glad the earring was small, I had a nephew swallow one and choked on it, until we dug it out of his throat. So how did the first day go?

You forget that after the first hour or so, the house is quiet

Now only 179 more days to go.