Switching

[CandiCame]

Are there any guys out there who don't like switching? As in, you're ONLY a top or ONLY a bottom?

 

[Jack29]

hmm

I am not totally against it, but I'm more like 80% top and 20% bottom if that. I guess I'm a control freak lol

 

[Chrissi]

I wouldn't say I don't like switching, it is just that it is rare. My bf is very versatile, but he loves to top me, and I am perfectly happy as the bottom, but sometimes we switch. It's rare, but we do. We also play with a several friends and most are mostly tops so he gets his fill there too. Of the few bottoms, like me, well there are plenty of things to play with so it is really rarely an issue or concern.

Topher

 

[ProfBoxers]

Are there any guys out there who don't like switching? As in, you're ONLY a top or ONLY a bottom?

I'm glad you asked this question. I have very little experience, so it's good to know what's out there. When I do get the chance to explore, I want to try it both way and see what I like. I imagine enjoying being the top more, but who knows!

 

[lindsey4cum]

As im dressed im always bottom, I dont see myself as some of these porn gals that top. I want to be all woman. But if I find a guy that im realy into, that wants me to top I will have to undress completely! So I gess I could top if I care for him that much.

 

[CandiCame]

I guess I ask because I've been with my bf for a while now, and I've never topped- and he doesn't seem interested in the idea at all-

But he wants to be monogamous, and... I dunno, I think I would go with the 80/20 split- I'm definitely a bottom, and I'm definitely a sub, but there are rare occasions where I'd like to um... mix it up.

It took me forever to even get a reach-around. And it's not that he's selfish or anything- I swear, it's more like he's afraid of the cock.

And... I don't really know what to make of that.

 

[pcarp]

With my g/f I am a switch. Most days I want to be a top and there are an occasional day when I want to be a bottom. My g/f enjoys the opposite position as I so we fit well...except when our regular playmate is there. In that situation she is definitely the top and I am a bottom. He is just sort of a neutral. We were meeting at his house the other day and she was running late. He had his video camera set up in his playroom. He was wearing a pair of shorts when I got there. I was prepared for a bit of conversation until she got there but he wasn't. He told me to go ahead and get naked and I did. At that point he leaned back against the pool table and told me to "come over here and kneel down". As I did he dropped his shorts and told me to start sucking his dick. As I reached for him he said "No hands, just use your mouth. Put your hands behind your back." At one point he grabbed my head and was fucking my mouth which as I said was not normal for him. Well it turns out that she wasn't late. Her car was in his gargage. She definitely enjoyed the show. And the video is pretty hot if I do say so myself.

 

[lindsey4cum]

With my g/f I am a switch. Most days I want to be a top and there are an occasional day when I want to be a bottom. My g/f enjoys the opposite position as I so we fit well...except when our regular playmate is there. In that situation she is definitely the top and I am a bottom. He is just sort of a neutral. We were meeting at his house the other day and she was running late. He had his video camera set up in his playroom. He was wearing a pair of shorts when I got there. I was prepared for a bit of conversation until she got there but he wasn't. He told me to go ahead and get naked and I did. At that point he leaned back against the pool table and told me to "come over here and kneel down". As I did he dropped his shorts and told me to start sucking his dick. As I reached for him he said "No hands, just use your mouth. Put your hands behind your back." At one point he grabbed my head and was fucking my mouth which as I said was not normal for him. Well it turns out that she wasn't late. Her car was in his gargage. She definitely enjoyed the show. And the video is pretty hot if I do say so myself.

Wow that was hot! I just cant wait till I get my first! Why is it that guys are standing me up?

 

[portmaritime]

lindsey

wish I could get to Phoenix. I wouldn't stand you up. Always wanted a secretary who was more than just that. You seem to fit the bill quite nicely.

 

[none2_none2]

I guess I ask because I've been with my bf for a while now, and I've never topped- and he doesn't seem interested in the idea at all-

But he wants to be monogamous, and... I dunno, I think I would go with the 80/20 split- I'm definitely a bottom, and I'm definitely a sub, but there are rare occasions where I'd like to um... mix it up.

It took me forever to even get a reach-around. And it's not that he's selfish or anything- I swear, it's more like he's afraid of the cock.

And... I don't really know what to make of that.

I feel sorry for you. I hope you can work things out -- meaning that you don't get to where you resent the sexual part of your relationship.

I'm a top. The last time I bottomed was 1985, and I don't miss it at all. The only reason I used to do it was:
1) I was young and nieve and thought you had to be hung to be a total top.
2) I thought that to be a total top meant you were selfish and incapable of loving someone.

"Cock" was never my thing, and certainly not having one inside of me. I won't lie and say it was excruciatingly painful. It simply wasn't me. It would be less unnatural for me to get it on with a woman than it would be to have a cock inside me. Still for the first few years, I gave it an honest try, but I never liked it. I didn't even like someone sticking their fingers up there -- including the doctor. When a guy would rim me, it wasn't that great and I wouldn't then get in the mood to go further. Its kind of funny, but whenever i was being rimmed, I was more thinking of learning from what he did to me so that I could be a better rimmer myself.

Once I broke up with the first guy I had any kind of lasting relationship with (with whom I was probably 10% bottom), I asked myself why was I doing things I didn't like to do. Add to that the AIDS scare which was big in the mid 80's, it just seem crazy. So I gave bottoming up. To me it was my first true move to being authentic to myself. Kind of like the 100% totally gay individual finally realizing that they weren't going to try to be straight anymore (including just straight dating) to please parents, family, friends, church, etc.

When I see a penis, I may think about how I wish mine were bigger, but I don't think of how I wish I could have it inside me. I admire it much like I admire a beautiful animal. Sure it is hot to see a cock shoot. I do appreciate balls, but only because of my own infertility. When I see straight porn, the only part of it I enjoy is when the guy is my type (hairy, muscular, handsome, and very manily) and is using his mouth to please a woman or he is getting his ass played with.

Sexual compatiblity is something you have to think about big time before getting serious with someone. We dwell a lot about gay sexual roles, but I would think also about straights dealing with compatibility. I would assume it isn't inconceivable that a straight woman would be into playing with asses. Imagine if her male lover doesn't want his ass touched.

Sure in a perfect world, we would fall in love with someone for what is on the inside and not external body parts and what they want to do with them. However, we all know it just doesn't happen. I probably would have been in a relationship with a woman if that was the case, as in my own life's experience more women have cared about me as I am than men have. (Since I'm almost 52, I think I've had enough life's experience to know what I'm saying there.)

For some people their tastes in anything are fluid throughout life (sexual or otherwise). Other's tend to know what they like. I'm in the latter category. For instance, for myself I know:

1) I DESPISE even the smell of coffee.
2) Cornbread sucks
3) Butterscotch pudding is yucky
4) Strawberry-rhurbarb pie rocks
5) Chocolate malts are to die for
6) For the most part, I'd rather make music than listen to it -- unless it is certain types of classical music.
8) Almost ALL spectator sport bores me to death (I guess that makes me gay!), but I love participating in some sports.
7) I love sci-fi movies.
9) Though I have insomnia, I am a morning person.
10) If I could choose when to have sex, I would prefer mornings. Unfortunately, that isn't the case for most bottoms!

I could go on and on, but my point simply is I am the kind of person who isn't so fluid. Now sometimes, that can be a real pain. For instance, I really need to loose weight as my metabolism has slowed way down, but not my appetites. I struggle with how am I going to be satisfied with less. It is so hard for me to change. Still, at least I know myself, and I'll have to come up with ways to loose weight that keeps that in mind.

I think you and your partner really need to talk this out. If he's 100% top, and you aren't really a 100% bottom, the day will come that you will resent your partner. I will add that it is a top's responsibility to help the bottom get "off". If he is just getting his rocks off, and then rolling over, then that is a totally different story that he must address. However, if it is just that you want to top, then you guys need to hash this out. Now no relationship is perfect, so just make sure you don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

 

[jackstud]

I guess I ask because I've been with my bf for a while now, and I've never topped- and he doesn't seem interested in the idea at all-

But he wants to be monogamous, and... I dunno, I think I would go with the 80/20 split- I'm definitely a bottom, and I'm definitely a sub, but there are rare occasions where I'd like to um... mix it up.

It took me forever to even get a reach-around. And it's not that he's selfish or anything- I swear, it's more like he's afraid of the cock.

And... I don't really know what to make of that.

Thinking of how thrilling it would be to have you reach around. Thrilling to mix it up. Spread my ass cheeks mmmmm. I kinda like the idea

 

[Seamen]

I am an absolute bottom. I have never topped, and I am not really interested in ever doing so. My top is dominant, and leaves little room for my expressiveness (which I love). We just rock to his tune, what he wants, when he wants it. Its just the way it is, and seems quite natural. I'm quite submissive, and I've never really imagined myself with anyone who could be more bottomly than me. I have been with another bottom, as it were, but no one was top then. He was supposed to penetrate me, but things went a different way and we just ended sucking and jerking each other. He was so hesitant and reluctant that I didn't push it. We just did what came natural.

From my experience, personal and in partners I've had, yeah, definitely, there are gay men who are only tops or bottoms. I guess it depends on the particular relationship dynamics. I mean, my top is some 30 years or so older than me, very masculine and dominant. I am quite the opposite. That is part of the reason why we're together. So I guess these roles come natural to (at least some of) us.

 

[jasper3738]

Switchimg

Would switch if I could wife just likes to be on her back

 

[CandiCame]

I feel sorry for you. I hope you can work things out -- meaning that you don't get to where you resent the sexual part of your relationship.

I'm a top. The last time I bottomed was 1985, and I don't miss it at all. The only reason I used to do it was:
1) I was young and nieve and thought you had to be hung to be a total top.
2) I thought that to be a total top meant you were selfish and incapable of loving someone.

"Cock" was never my thing, and certainly not having one inside of me. I won't lie and say it was excruciatingly painful. It simply wasn't me. It would be less unnatural for me to get it on with a woman than it would be to have a cock inside me. Still for the first few years, I gave it an honest try, but I never liked it. I didn't even like someone sticking their fingers up there -- including the doctor. When a guy would rim me, it wasn't that great and I wouldn't then get in the mood to go further. Its kind of funny, but whenever i was being rimmed, I was more thinking of learning from what he did to me so that I could be a better rimmer myself.

Once I broke up with the first guy I had any kind of lasting relationship with (with whom I was probably 10% bottom), I asked myself why was I doing things I didn't like to do. Add to that the AIDS scare which was big in the mid 80's, it just seem crazy. So I gave bottoming up. To me it was my first true move to being authentic to myself. Kind of like the 100% totally gay individual finally realizing that they weren't going to try to be straight anymore (including just straight dating) to please parents, family, friends, church, etc.

When I see a penis, I may think about how I wish mine were bigger, but I don't think of how I wish I could have it inside me. I admire it much like I admire a beautiful animal. Sure it is hot to see a cock shoot. I do appreciate balls, but only because of my own infertility. When I see straight porn, the only part of it I enjoy is when the guy is my type (hairy, muscular, handsome, and very manily) and is using his mouth to please a woman or he is getting his ass played with.

Sexual compatiblity is something you have to think about big time before getting serious with someone. We dwell a lot about gay sexual roles, but I would think also about straights dealing with compatibility. I would assume it isn't inconceivable that a straight woman would be into playing with asses. Imagine if her male lover doesn't want his ass touched.

Sure in a perfect world, we would fall in love with someone for what is on the inside and not external body parts and what they want to do with them. However, we all know it just doesn't happen. I probably would have been in a relationship with a woman if that was the case, as in my own life's experience more women have cared about me as I am than men have. (Since I'm almost 52, I think I've had enough life's experience to know what I'm saying there.)

For some people their tastes in anything are fluid throughout life (sexual or otherwise). Other's tend to know what they like. I'm in the latter category. For instance, for myself I know:

1) I DESPISE even the smell of coffee.
2) Cornbread sucks
3) Butterscotch pudding is yucky
4) Strawberry-rhurbarb pie rocks
5) Chocolate malts are to die for
6) For the most part, I'd rather make music than listen to it -- unless it is certain types of classical music.
8) Almost ALL spectator sport bores me to death (I guess that makes me gay!), but I love participating in some sports.
7) I love sci-fi movies.
9) Though I have insomnia, I am a morning person.
10) If I could choose when to have sex, I would prefer mornings. Unfortunately, that isn't the case for most bottoms!

I could go on and on, but my point simply is I am the kind of person who isn't so fluid. Now sometimes, that can be a real pain. For instance, I really need to loose weight as my metabolism has slowed way down, but not my appetites. I struggle with how am I going to be satisfied with less. It is so hard for me to change. Still, at least I know myself, and I'll have to come up with ways to loose weight that keeps that in mind.

I think you and your partner really need to talk this out. If he's 100% top, and you aren't really a 100% bottom, the day will come that you will resent your partner. I will add that it is a top's responsibility to help the bottom get "off". If he is just getting his rocks off, and then rolling over, then that is a totally different story that he must address. However, if it is just that you want to top, then you guys need to hash this out. Now no relationship is perfect, so just make sure you don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

OK, first off- cornbread is fucking awesome. I could make you some cornbread that would forever change your mind on cornbread.

Secondly, I really appreciate this post. I think that you guys think a lot alike (you and my bf), and I really do need to talk to him, but I kinda feel like it's just me bitching about something that's really not that important. I don't wanna force him to do something that he doesn't want to do- so I more thought that... honestly, I don't know what I thought. I'm happy where I'm at- I don't want to be one of those dick guys that forces something on their lover- I mean, it's no different then if I were with a chick, right? I'm not gonna do the whole, "Come on- just let me put my cock in you- just one time!!!" Thing. I'm not gonna do that- and I feel like that's what that conversation would boil down to.

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSwBPUhC-JXTujFPjNt4dcAignXJb0HNiLh0bp1LqVwPHcIaObW_D8KCyLC

I just wanted to see what everyone's thoughts were- and I really like hearing from all kinds of folk. It's weird because I've always been so submissive that it kind of feels wrong to ask for anything- but every time I've come up with anything, he's done it- and he swears that he isn't just doing it for me. But, it's all been sub stuff (more appropriately listed in the BDSM section) and he's always been in control. I think it's what someone else was saying about being natural- we naturally fit together with him in command- I lose my stamina when i try to be dominate in any way...

I'm just rambling incoherently at this point, so I'm going to stop talking now and let someone else take over. *sweatdrop*

 

[Abrams1900]

I don't switch back and forth, but made one permanent switch. I started as a total top, couldn't even imagine being a bottom. Got way too freaking drunk one night, and ended up getting fucked, harcourt. Since then, never looked back. 99 times out of a hundred I'll bottom. Will take one for the team once in a while and top, but doesn't do much for me. In actuality, if I'm going to be doing the fucking, I'd rather fuck a gal in the ass then a dude. Weird I know.

 

[OxonCornish]

I prefer top and the guy I do anal with prefers to be bottom but he also does me to as it gets him off and I do like the feeling of being filled with cock.
I suppose we're about 70/30. What I mostly prefer is having him shoot his cum in my mouth so we usually end up with me playing with his ass and fucking him and then him shooting in my mouth. Best of all possible worlds ;-)

 

[titerear71106]

Total bottom here tried to top one time bur I lost interest halfway in

 

[LucyH]

What's with this notion that penetration equals domination? I mean, it feels good to be on the receiving end, doesn't it? Why can't someone be totally in control and decide that's what they're in the mood for, and have it? Their partner could be tied up, blindfolded, and gagged, or just an obedient plaything, and the sex would work just fine.

(Or, alternately, it's possible to be just humoring somebody and still be the one in control - granting a favor on your own terms.)

 

[none2_none2]

What's with this notion that penetration equals domination? I mean, it feels good to be on the receiving end, doesn't it? Why can't someone be totally in control and decide that's what they're in the mood for, and have it? Their partner could be tied up, blindfolded, and gagged, or just an obedient plaything, and the sex would work just fine.

(Or, alternately, it's possible to be just humoring somebody and still be the one in control - granting a favor on your own terms.)

You hit the nail on the head. The next post I was going to do on this thread is that my parter is anything but a sumissive. If you saw the two of us, you would probably think he was the more manily of the two of us. I don't consider myself effeminate, but then I don't have the "traditional" interests that he does. He is a natural at fixing things. He loves mechanical things. I like to learn about things and how they are put together, but more from an academic standpoint -- not physically doing it. When I am inside him, sure I'm in control from a mechanical standpoint, but then he is letting me be in control. In some ways, I feel more needy. I am the one who needs a man's love and I feel that when I am permitted to be inside. That need for love, for being inside, etc in some ways is my Achilles' Heal. In my life, the more you would never suspect a guy was a bottom, the more I desired him. Though I've been around a while (I'm almost 52) to know that any kind of person may enjoy being bottom, I still get amazed when I find a masculine man who loves to bottom.

I would also add that I've heard that some people want to be submisssive in sex, because outside of the bedroom, they tend to have too much contro, and they need somehwere to get away from that - so sex plays that role. Likewise, some that feel out of control, want to dominate in bed. I suppose there could be come truth to that. I wouldn't say that I am submissive in the outside world, but I do "feel" that way sometimes. Still, in my mind the bottom is in control. Not from what you would normally think. Rather, I can loose a hardon if the bottom is not enjoying being fucked. Any sign of pain, and I start to loose interest.

 

[luvemboth]

I'm a total switch. I love to bottom and top equally.