Switching perspectives during a sex scene- thoughts?

[HeyAll]

I don't mean switching pov between each character during sex. I mean, telling the story in 3rd person, and focusing on each character's actions during sex.

Does that make it more erotic, or is focusing on the main character more erotic?


1) For instance, Kelly is the main character, Mark is the side character:

Kelly felt his hands rub her backside. Her face was pressed down against the pillow. Anticipation was building. Her ass checks were spread and he pressed the tip of his cock against her anus.

Mark looked down at his throbbing cock against her small opening. There was enough lube for an easy entry, but it would be difficult. He slowly pushed his way in.

As you can see, the perspective switches between the two characters.


2) On the other hand, you can have the sex scene focus entirely on Kelly:

Kelly felt his hands rub her backside. Her face was pressed down against the pillow. Anticipation was building. Her ass checks were spread and he pressed the tip of his cock against her anus.

She knew his cock was big and her anus was small. Anal sex was never her thing, but her body desperately wanted it this time. She felt him slowly push his way inside.

Thoughts?

 

[RoyceConnors]

Readers like to know emotions and reactions to things, more than the action itself. It's the tie in to relate to that character(s). You can't describe feelings or thoughts in 3rd person, but body and facial language make up for that. IMO, that works well for me and many others I've read.

 

[alwayswantedto]

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[sr71plt]

The perspective given in your example is primarily the narrator's perspective. You aren't in either of the character's heads enough for the reader to notice that anything is switching back and forth. So, I don't see anything in this example that would cause a reader pause.

 

[MrFoxwood]

Writing in the third-person I used to switch back and forth between the different characters' sensations and thoughts all the time, I never got any complaints about it being confusing.

 

[Handley_Page]

I don't mean switching pov between each character during sex. I mean, telling the story in 3rd person, and focusing on each character's actions during sex.

Does that make it more erotic, or is focusing on the main character more erotic?
1) For instance, Kelly is the main character, Mark is the side character:
As you can see, the perspective switches between the two characters.
2) On the other hand, you can have the sex scene focus entirely on Kelly:

Thoughts?

The Narrator is telling it like it is.
And that's FINE, to my mind.

 

[PennLady]

Writing in the third-person I used to switch back and forth between the different characters' sensations and thoughts all the time, I never got any complaints about it being confusing.

FWIW, I have done the same, and I blame Nora Roberts. I read a number of her books and she does this all the time, but it's never confused me.

 

[MrFoxwood]

FWIW, I have done the same, and I blame Nora Roberts. I read a number of her books and she does this all the time, but it's never confused me.

I think it only takes a moderately competent writer to make it coherent, of course it also requires a moderately competent reader.

 

[Frank Noir]

Writing in the third-person I used to switch back and forth between the different characters' sensations and thoughts all the time, I never got any complaints about it being confusing.

I used to do that, too - randomly.

Lately, I've become more conscious of this aspect of the narrative. And I tend to stick with one perspective - that is, only to get into the mind of one main character throughout the story.

This works for me - but as usual, there's no right and wrong when it comes to writing.

 

[robertreams]

I have tried it successfully. Also lately I have been reading published famous authors who are using more than one first person POV in the same story, beginning with one "I" and having several other "I"s with new chapters. I find it extremely disconcerting.

There is a way of writing from omniscent 3rd person that allows one to speak from inside or outside any character. That sometimes works ok with me. I did it very successfully in one of my stories.