Switching for Service

[Etoile]

I know many of us on this board feel we are submissives and slaves to the core. I have seen it expressed on various occasions that "oh I just couldn't be the dominant one - I couldn't!" I have said things like that myself.

But what if you were ordered to do it? What if your dominant said "I want you to top me." Could you do it? I know some members here are not accustomed to questioning their dominant's judgment or commands. I imagine a slave in that position would be understandably confused. But could you do it anyway? And let's pretend that the answer "oh they would never say that to me, they are all dominant all the time" isn't an option - I'm wondering how others would feel if they were forced into that situation.

I have been ordered to do this on two or three occasions in five years, and I have come to see it as a form of service myself. It's not for me to question why I am being asked to do it - I know sometimes Daddy enjoys penetrative play, so I figure that is part of it, but it's not the whole thing. I just do what I am being asked to do - and that includes enjoying it. Yes, I enjoy topping Daddy on the rare occasions when I have been ordered to...I feel very awkward doing it and need a lot of guidance, but because I am doing what I've been asked to, what is pleasing to my dominant, etc. - I do enjoy it. I'm providing something that Daddy wants, and that to me is continuing to serve regardless of how I'm carrying out that service.

What do you think?

 

[Sir Quam]

Like most true Dominant Masters, I was trained as a submissive long before I took upon myself the responsibility of topping another. It allowed me the perspective to see what an incredible gift the submissive offers her Master, as well as the chance to experience the difficulties of submission firsthand.

These days, I do not engage in submission, but I will on ocassion order one of my submissives to top another one if I think it will be a good experience and educational for both of them.

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, I guess you know my answer. Though I do not see him ever seriously asking me to top him, as you know he has asked it of me with others. It was a headspin at first and I went through the "I am a submissive, a slave, this is not me' but soon came to realise that in doing as he asked, like you, I was submitting to his needs and also serving in that context.

It is a matter of getting your headspace there though and I think a big part to blocking that is the fear you are going to be seen by others as something you are not, you are going to fail, you are going to then experience difficulties in your future submission, you are going to find something in it you didn't expect, or that your Dominant will see you differently afterward and the fear whether that will be positive or negative. I think some or all these fears can be valid and very real risks, but if you trust in the ability of your Dominant to help you work through them, as well as the point it is what they want, it helps the fear recede and the desire to serve come through. For me it has strengthened my submission in some ways, it has shown me the depth of submission goes beyond what I may have thought it should mean, and that I really can get to where he wants if I just trust and follow through.

Catalina

 

[Etoile]

Like most true Dominant Masters, I was trained as a submissive long before I took upon myself the responsibility of topping another. It allowed me the perspective to see what an incredible gift the submissive offers her Master, as well as the chance to experience the difficulties of submission firsthand.

These days, I do not engage in submission, but I will on ocassion order one of my submissives to top another one if I think it will be a good experience and educational for both of them.

Wait, most "true" dominants were trained as submissives? That wasn't quite what I was going for, hah. Unless you're referring to Old Guard?

But yes, I agree that it is also an extremely important educational experience for both. Submission isn't easy, but neither is domination, and I have long believed that it is beneficial for each to understand the other's position.

 

[Etoile]

LOL, I guess you know my answer. Though I do not see him ever seriously asking me to top him, as you know he has asked it of me with others. It was a headspin at first and I went through the "I am a submissive, a slave, this is not me' but soon came to realise that in doing as he asked, like you, I was submitting to his needs and also serving in that context.

It is a matter of getting your headspace there though and I think a big part to blocking that is the fear you are going to be seen by others as something you are not, you are going to fail, you are going to then experience difficulties in your future submission, you are going to find something in it you didn't expect, or that your Dominant will see you differently afterward and the fear whether that will be positive or negative. I think some or all these fears can be valid and very real risks, but if you trust in the ability of your Dominant to help you work through them, as well as the point it is what they want, it helps the fear recede and the desire to serve come through. For me it has strengthened my submission in some ways, it has shown me the depth of submission goes beyond what I may have thought it should mean, and that I really can get to where he wants if I just trust and follow through.

Yep, I did know what you'd have to say - at least in your first paragraph! But your second paragraph articulates really well why it can be so challenging to do this. Every one of those has crossed my mind on the few occasions I have done this. I've even been afraid that maybe I will like it too much and will want to do it more often - that if I get a taste of switching, I will become a switch, which is not what my dominant wants! I no longer have that fear - I've done it a few times now and my fundamental submissive personality has not changed - but it has definitely been part of the growth process for me to go through those thoughts.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Yep, I did know what you'd have to say - at least in your first paragraph! But your second paragraph articulates really well why it can be so challenging to do this. Every one of those has crossed my mind on the few occasions I have done this. I've even been afraid that maybe I will like it too much and will want to do it more often - that if I get a taste of switching, I will become a switch, which is not what my dominant wants! I no longer have that fear - I've done it a few times now and my fundamental submissive personality has not changed - but it has definitely been part of the growth process for me to go through those thoughts.

LOL, another thing I learned....it is not as easy as swinging a flogger around and saying 'kneel'!! Being a Top/Dominant is hard work.

Catalina

 

[sincerely_helene]

I wouldn't be able to top someone who was my dominant, as it would be hard for me to view him in the same light afterward. I would likely feel decieved if I suspected he was instructing it for his own self-gratification-- almost as though he had lied about who he was. Because of the fact that I was placed in the situation of being a dominant, I would probably make the dominant choice to just walk away all together. I tend to get very annoyed if I feel someone is taking advantage of my giving nature.

That being said, I wouldn't mind being worshipped and engaging in some form of mental domination with a male submissive if asked to by a dominant partner. I might do it anyway someday, just for cheap thrills. What a hypocrite I am.

I can't believe I just admitted that.

 

[Sir Quam]

Wait, most "true" dominants were trained as submissives? That wasn't quite what I was going for, hah. Unless you're referring to Old Guard?

But yes, I agree that it is also an extremely important educational experience for both. Submission isn't easy, but neither is domination, and I have long believed that it is beneficial for each to understand the other's position.

Etoile your wisdom is exceeded only by your beauty.


By "true" Dominant, I am referring to the Dominant Gentleman. The Dominant who understands his position is an earned responsibility, not merely an opportunity to abuse some of the most sensitive members of our population.

 

[Etoile]

Etoile your wisdom is exceeded only by your beauty.

By "true" Dominant, I am referring to the Dominant Gentleman. The Dominant who understands his position is an earned responsibility, not merely an opportunity to abuse some of the most sensitive members of our population.

I still don't quite see what you mean. Certainly there are people out there (not all men) who use BDSM as an excuse to abuse others. I also agree that many dominants (men and women) understand that it is a privilege to have ownership/control over another, not a right. But I don't think that they all have some submissive experience in their background. In some branches of Old Guard, that was a requirement, but in others an apprenticeship was necessary but didn't involve actual submission.

And thank you very much.

 

[timberwolf05]

I know many of us on this board feel we are submissives and slaves to the core. I have seen it expressed on various occasions that "oh I just couldn't be the dominant one - I couldn't!" I have said things like that myself.

But what if you were ordered to do it? What if your dominant said "I want you to top me." Could you do it? I know some members here are not accustomed to questioning their dominant's judgment or commands. I imagine a slave in that position would be understandably confused. But could you do it anyway? And let's pretend that the answer "oh they would never say that to me, they are all dominant all the time" isn't an option - I'm wondering how others would feel if they were forced into that situation.

I have been ordered to do this on two or three occasions in five years, and I have come to see it as a form of service myself. It's not for me to question why I am being asked to do it - I know sometimes Daddy enjoys penetrative play, so I figure that is part of it, but it's not the whole thing. I just do what I am being asked to do - and that includes enjoying it. Yes, I enjoy topping Daddy on the rare occasions when I have been ordered to...I feel very awkward doing it and need a lot of guidance, but because I am doing what I've been asked to, what is pleasing to my dominant, etc. - I do enjoy it. I'm providing something that Daddy wants, and that to me is continuing to serve regardless of how I'm carrying out that service.

What do you think?

===============================================
But what if you were ordered to do it? What if your dominant said "I want you to top me." Could you do it?
===============================================

NO! "I" know zero about playtime.

wolf

 

[AAkasha]

===============================================
But what if you were ordered to do it? What if your dominant said "I want you to top me." Could you do it?
===============================================

NO! "I" know zero about playtime.

wolf

Yet you have left two femdoms because of their "play methods"?

Akasha

 

[Netzach]

M has done this. I know for a fact he really dislikes doing any kind of impact play on me, "hitting" someone kind of freaks him out beyond the lightest of spankings/paddlings. His first involvement in BDSM involved taking turns tying up an equally-as-submissive girlfriend, though, so he's quite good at that, and I think he enjoys tying and teasing scenes as a top. This works well, because I can still be quite the bondage whore, and he's the only person I'll tolerate sexual play or teasing from when I'm in rope or restrained. Bondage is mainly a form of meditation and relaxation for me, for its own sake. M is able to facilitate that experience for me, or monitor other people facilitating it to make sure I get what I like when I zone out into happy rope space.

I know for a fact it hasn't changed the way he views me or strained the D/s dynamic in the relationship. It's very clear who is in charge globally, this is simply something I've entrusted him with, like my valuables or my PIN number.

 

[Netzach]

I still don't quite see what you mean. Certainly there are people out there (not all men) who use BDSM as an excuse to abuse others. I also agree that many dominants (men and women) understand that it is a privilege to have ownership/control over another, not a right. But I don't think that they all have some submissive experience in their background. In some branches of Old Guard, that was a requirement, but in others an apprenticeship was necessary but didn't involve actual submission.

And thank you very much.

You are out of the loop, girlfriend. I got my "true gent" medal when I learned to bootblack, you haven't seen them?

 

[Etoile]

You are out of the loop, girlfriend. I got my "true gent" medal when I learned to bootblack, you haven't seen them?

Hah! It's a good think I'm familiar with what you're talking about, Netz, or I'd be sad!

 

[Sir Quam]

I still don't quite see what you mean. Certainly there are people out there (not all men) who use BDSM as an excuse to abuse others. I also agree that many dominants (men and women) understand that it is a privilege to have ownership/control over another, not a right. But I don't think that they all have some submissive experience in their background. In some branches of Old Guard, that was a requirement, but in others an apprenticeship was necessary but didn't involve actual submission.

And thank you very much.

Allow me to clarify.

As the Lord himself decreed that the meek shall inherit the earth, BDSM is in turn ruled entirely by the submissives. It is the submissive whose pleasure is paramount, and it is the submissive who is ultimately to be served, nurtured and garnished with love and attention.

A quick glance at this very forum confirms this. The submissives are by far the majority here, because the true Dominants simply haven't the time to spend on an internet messageboard. We are out working hard to support our prized treasures, and figuring out new ways to challenge and impress our beloved property.

The true submissive offers her Dominant everything, who in turn asks only for what little he needs to survive. Discipline and self sacrifice is the way of the true Dominant.

 

[Netzach]

Allow me to clarify.

As the Lord himself decreed that the meek shall inherit the earth, BDSM is in turn ruled entirely by the submissives. It is the submissive whose pleasure is paramount, and it is the submissive who is ultimately to be served, nurtured and garnished with love and attention.

A quick glance at this very forum confirms this. The submissives are by far the majority here, because the true Dominants simply haven't the time to spend on an internet messageboard. We are out working hard to support our prized treasures, and figuring out new ways to challenge and impress our beloved property.

The true submissive offers her Dominant everything, who in turn asks only for what little he needs to survive. Discipline and self sacrifice is the way of the true Dominant.

I don't even know how to start to addess this. Suffice it to say, if I ever ever go to the trouble of submitting again, it's gonna be to a ruthless woman I can't possibly sway, who is going to put me to brutal USE for her own purposes.

If I got the sense I was being put on a pedestal, I'd be taking over, pronto.

 

[Etoile]

Allow me to clarify.

As the Lord himself decreed that the meek shall inherit the earth, BDSM is in turn ruled entirely by the submissives. It is the submissive whose pleasure is paramount, and it is the submissive who is ultimately to be served, nurtured and garnished with love and attention.

A quick glance at this very forum confirms this. The submissives are by far the majority here, because the true Dominants simply haven't the time to spend on an internet messageboard. We are out working hard to support our prized treasures, and figuring out new ways to challenge and impress our beloved property.

The true submissive offers her Dominant everything, who in turn asks only for what little he needs to survive. Discipline and self sacrifice is the way of the true Dominant.

Interesting. Your viewpoint is definitely unique on this board, and diversity is certainly valuable. Welcome.

 

[Sir Quam]

I don't even know how to start to addess this. Suffice it to say, if I ever ever go to the trouble of submitting again, it's gonna be to a ruthless woman I can't possibly sway, who is going to put me to brutal USE for her own purposes.

If I got the sense I was being put on a pedestal, I'd be taking over, pronto.

And this is precisely why you make such a fine Dominant. It is in the nature of the Dominant to serve others, and serving a woman in the manner you described could be very satisfying for many Dominant personalities.

I served a woman in a similar fashion during my early days of BDSM and it was remarkably satisfying to me. As I began to realize how much work ruling over a young man like myself was for her, I committed myself to the idea of being not only servant, but ruler as well. This way, I can serve a submissive in all ways that are best for her, without troubling her with any needs of my own, or the responsibility of making decisions.

You might say it is a very lucky lady who gets to be my submissive, but it is I who is so lucky to have women place this trust in me.

 

[Sir Quam]

Interesting. Your viewpoint is definitely unique on this board, and diversity is certainly valuable. Welcome.

Unfortunately there are many fakes on this board, the worst of which is your moderator if I may say so myself.

 

[Netzach]

And this is precisely why you make such a fine Dominant. It is in the nature of the Dominant to serve others, and serving a woman in the manner you described could be very satisfying for many Dominant personalities.

I served a woman in a similar fashion during my early days of BDSM and it was remarkably satisfying to me. As I began to realize how much work ruling over a young man like myself was for her, I committed myself to the idea of being not only servant, but ruler as well. This way, I can serve a submissive in all ways that are best for her, without troubling her with any needs of my own, or the responsibility of making decisions.

You might say it is a very lucky lady who gets to be my submissive, but it is I who is so lucky to have women place this trust in me.

Hmmm. Gotta beg to differ. While I was certainly fulfilled in my service experiences in certain ways, they were not satisfying in the same ways that they would be to a submissive and service oriented person.

Whereas BEING served by those who serve me is integral to keeping me sane and happy. I do not see what I do for my husband as service. I see it as care, support, and leadership (at its best) What he does for ME is definitely service, and there's lots of it, and it's not a 50 50 happy split and it's not a two way street.

I would say that M's responsibilities and cares probably tripled when he met me, but he seems very happy to pay that price. Submission is not a ticket out of responsibility, and decisions are made by my submissives every single day -- I'm a delegator in a serious way.

I do agree that not every slave or servant has to be a hugely submissive personality, but I will argue that what the dominant servant gets out of service is going to be different, and ultimately, almost always more bound up in ego. Certainly was for me.

 

[Etoile]

Unfortunately there are many fakes on this board, the worst of which is your moderator if I may say so myself.

I'm sorry you feel that way. Perhaps, though, if you are dissatisfied with the moderator (you don't mention which one), you may find participating on this board challenging or overwhelming. Please do note that I am a Literotica forum moderator myself, by the way.

 

[Sir Quam]

Hmmm. Gotta beg to differ. While I was certainly fulfilled in my service experiences in certain ways, they were not satisfying in the same ways that they would be to a submissive and service oriented person.

Whereas BEING served by those who serve me is integral to keeping me sane and happy. I do not see what I do for my husband as service. I see it as care, support, and leadership (at its best) What he does for ME is definitely service, and there's lots of it, and it's not a 50 50 happy split and it's not a two way street.

I would say that M's responsibilities and cares probably tripled when he met me, but he seems very happy to pay that price. Submission is not a ticket out of responsibility, and decisions are made by my submissives every single day -- I'm a delegator in a serious way.

I do agree that not every slave or servant has to be a hugely submissive personality, but I will argue that what the dominant servant gets out of service is going to be different, and ultimately, almost always more bound up in ego. Certainly was for me.

It seems that you still hold onto elements selfishness that prevent you from being a true Dominant. This is quite understandable, you are still very young.

 

[Sir Quam]

I'm sorry you feel that way. Perhaps, though, if you are dissatisfied with the moderator (you don't mention which one), you may find participating on this board challenging or overwhelming. Please do note that I am a Literotica forum moderator myself, by the way.

I am, of course, talking about marquis.

I do not see why being dissatisfied with that threadmover will make participating on this board challenging. I have no doubts that once the wisdom of the true Dominant is put out for all to hear, opinions such as his, born of ignorance, greed and deceipt, will shy away in fear.

 

[Netzach]

It seems that you still hold onto elements selfishness that prevent you from being a true Dominant. This is quite understandable, you are still very young.

OK, you are making me laugh. Whose alt are you?

 

[Etoile]

OK, you are making me laugh. Whose alt are you?

I'm beginning to feel the same way. http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/disguised.gif