Switches, How Do You Get Into Your Headspace(s)?

[BiBunny]

This isn't something I'm really worried about, but it crossed my mind, so I decided to see what y'all thought. B. is coming to visit tomorrow, and he's been on an "I-want-you-to-tie-me-up" kick for awhile. Ok, no problem. I like tying him up. Problem is, in the last couple of days, my mindset has been a totally submissive one instead of a dominant one. I know once I actually get into the action, I'll be fine and will just go where it takes me (and enjoy the hell out of it, too). My question is, if you've ever found yourself in this situation, how did you get yourself into the "right" frame of mind, so to speak? I just wanted to see what kinds of things everyone does when they're stuck.

Oh, and if you're not a switch, feel free to chime in, too. All of us get in ruts sometimes where we don't feel particularly dominant, submissive, whatever. I'd like to hear from everybody.

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, perhaps you need to cruise some of the interesting toys available. I was just looking at a nice steel anal hook which has a ring welded on the other end to incorporate it into rope bondage.....very yummy...wonder if he would buy one to try on, moi?! Sure to bring out your Dommie side if you concentrate hard enough I think.

Catalina

 

[Byakuya]

I would probably describe myself as a "Switch" considering both D and S appeal to me in different ways. For me there isn't a big transition between D mode and S mode. All I have to do is start thinking a little about one or the other and that quickly escalates into a fantasy about being a D or a S.

If you really aren't into the idea of being a Dom, maybe you could make a game out of it. Write down a bunch of things you'd like done to you on pieces of paper and put them in a hat. When you have him tied up, draw one out and do that thing to him.

 

[Shankara20]

In addition to wanting to be tied up does he want you to Top him as well? If not, then like a good little sub you are doing what you are directed to do by taking hold of the rope

As to problems with mind site, yes there have been times I have been in one place and my partner in another. Often if I was in “bottom” mind I could do a good job of being Top. If I were in “Top” mind it was difficult to go to bottom. Thank goddess must of the time I was in “slut” mind and could go wherever the action was.

 

[BiBunny]

You're probably right. But my rope bondage? LOL, it's kind of embarrassing as a horse person to admit this, but I couldn't tie a proper knot if my life depended on it. (Seriously, nobody will even let me tie my own horses' lead ropes to anything anymore because they ALWAYS get loose, and the horses aren't half as smart as people are.) I'm lucky to tie my own shoes, usually! I even have a system for tying people to my bed. The ropes are already tied to the bed (thank you, Bunny's girlfriend), and there are clips attached to the ends of them so I can just clip 'em the rings on cuffs. It's kind of sad that I have cheat like that when you think about it, LOL.

But the strap-on harness that he bought for me hasn't been used on a man yet, even though he gave it to me six months ago. He is SO going to get it, LOL. Maybe I'll run around my apartment with the harness and dildo strapped to me to get into the Domme mood (and hope no one comes over to visit in the meantime, lest I be institutionalized or something)!

 

[BiBunny]

Oh, yes, I should've specified. He wants me to Top him; he's as big a painslut as I am. I love to do it, too. I'm just having a hard time getting my head there for some reason. Oh, well, like I said, once I get started, I'll get into it and love the hell out of it!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Maybe I'll run around my apartment with the harness and dildo strapped to me to get into the Domme mood (and hope no one comes over to visit in the meantime, lest I be institutionalized or something)!

Oh, can we have pics please?!!

Catalina

 

[Shankara20]

(Seriously, nobody will even let me tie my own horses' lead ropes to anything anymore because they ALWAYS get loose, and the horses aren't half as smart as people are.)

Any suspension being considered? Please say “No”

Maybe I'll run around my apartment with the harness and dildo strapped to me to get into the Domme mood (and hope no one comes over to visit in the meantime, lest I be institutionalized or something)!

*sounds of Shank sinking into bottom space, dropping his panties and bending over*

 

[BiBunny]

Oh, can we have pics please?!!

Catalina

Ask and ye shall receive! (Can you tell I don't have anything better to do today? LOL.)

 

[BiBunny]

Any suspension being considered? Please say “No”



*sounds of Shank sinking into bottom space, dropping his panties and bending over*

No suspension, thank God. Although the sound of him hitting the ground would be sort of funny, I think.

Oh, and...nice ass, Shankie.

 

[the captians wench]

Every once in a blue moon I get into a more agressive headspace. It usually only lasts a day or so, but when I'm there I have a hard time being the good little subbie I should be. Some times my Love will endulge me a bit, and some times I'm put back into my space (ie I get tacked until I cry and it's kind of hard to keep top frame of mind when I'm sobbing. ).

I'd sujest doing something that makes you feel more like a top. I know when I'm in this space the corset and garters come out. (not that they don't any other time, just when that inner domme peaks out of me she gets a bit of an attitude and the corset looks a whole lot different on her *giggles*) So walking around with your harness may just do the trick.

 

[BiBunny]

So walking around with your harness may just do the trick.

Or make me feel like a total moron. *Giggle*

 

[FurryFury]

If I feel all creative and excited about doing something, I discuss it with him. If he gives me a green light I go for it.

If he is walking by and I decide I want to, I might do a lil something. Walkbys cut both ways. The only thing for certain is that someone is going to get titillated in some form or fashion.

If I find out he is jonesing for me to take charge or wants a particular thing to happen I will make it happen.

I don't consider myself a switch but that's how I do.

Fury

 

[the captians wench]

Or make me feel like a total moron. *Giggle*

Same diff

 

[leeroy jenkins]

Ask and ye shall receive! (Can you tell I don't have anything better to do today? LOL.)

Well to help set the mood and keep you in your desired headspace why not have him suck your cock?? That is before he gets to have you use it on him.

 

[BiBunny]

Well to help set the mood and keep you in your desired headspace why not have him suck your cock?? That is before he gets to have you use it on him.

Yep, I was already leaning toward it, but since you suggest it, I'll definitely do it.

 

[Shankara20]

Or make me feel like a total moron. *Giggle*

then you will know what we guys feel like walking around naked with a woody....

 

[Shankara20]

Oh, and...nice ass, Shankie.

it needs a shave, but thanks

 

[leeroy jenkins]

Yep, I was already leaning toward it, but since you suggest it, I'll definitely do it.

Its just a strong dominate act to have someone pleasure you like that and to have to suck on a toy that will be used on him later.

 

[Inconsequential]

I would probably describe myself as a "Switch" considering both D and S appeal to me in different ways. For me there isn't a big transition between D mode and S mode. All I have to do is start thinking a little about one or the other and that quickly escalates into a fantasy about being a D or a S.

If you really aren't into the idea of being a Dom, maybe you could make a game out of it. Write down a bunch of things you'd like done to you on pieces of paper and put them in a hat. When you have him tied up, draw one out and do that thing to him.

This sounds like a fun game even if you aren't using it to get into the mood. I could use this in all kinds of anticipation games. Thanks for the idea.

 

[Netzach]

I start planning and daydreaming what I'd do in a totally ideal world with any gear I could possibly want, if the person had no limits, and we could go anywhere.

That usually gets me in the mood or at least gives me some ideas.

 

[Inconsequential]

I start planning and daydreaming what I'd do in a totally ideal world with any gear I could possibly want, if the person had no limits, and we could go anywhere.

That usually gets me in the mood or at least gives me some ideas.

I think that would be fun too.... any gear I wanted in mazatlan, or jamaica, or on a desert peak somewhere... you know those climbing ropes make ~great~ suspension harnesses.
Sorry for the hijack... I guess other things that would get me in a Topping mood would be toy selection. Sometimes just looking at my various toys gives me ideas on things to do and what kind of time frame i'm looking at.
If that fails you can always fall back on the "just pamper me" and see how creative he can be.

 

[SpectreT]

To be honest - when my submissive side simply isn't the side I want at the front - it isn't. Takes a couple of minutes of deep breathing and visualization, but I can bring out the Top in me pretty easily when it's not there already, when I'm at default state. (which for me is not submissive, nor dominant. Just kinda.. there, receptive. I tend to mold to the people I'm dealing with; if they're sub, I tend to react as Dom, and vice-versa. It's a subconscious reaction to subconscious cues. If it were me, I wouldn't worry about it - it'll take care of itself as soon as s/he walks in.)

 

[BiBunny]

If it were me, I wouldn't worry about it - it'll take care of itself as soon as s/he walks in.)

That's what I'm figuring as well.

 

[myinnerslut]

i dont really have any advice but i did want to say...

pleasepleaseplease tell us how it goes!!