Swimming to Beijing...

[scouries]

…or at least reading about it.

[size=+2]

Gym ‘Member’ Ship[/size]​

by scouries​

Mature Category​

​

A young American teenager, a virgin, bends forward and grasps the front of the starting block, her perfectly shaped derriere pointed invitingly skyward. She looks angrily to her left, watches with distain the middle aged salesman who had the temerity to challenge her, Melissa Taylor, to a race.

The fool smiles pityingly at her and then, in one deft motion, pushes the colorful Hawaiian shorts he’s wearing down his legs and bares his shockingly large maleness to her gaping eyes.

“But,” she starts to protest even as he propels himself off the blocks and leaves her teetering over the water.

“You’re a cheat,” she charges later, hating that this man has beaten her.

“You’ll never win a Gold Medal if you’re so easily fooled Miss Taylor,” he laughs as he takes her check. But he can’t help but wonder as he watches the fuming coed why such a beautiful girl is still a virgin. Is she one of those Lesbians he keeps reading about?

In this new story by Literotica’s most beloved author, James R. Scouries, the reader is led through a titillating exploration of the relationship between an experienced, older man and a young girl even as they prepare to bring a gold medal back from Beijing.

Another best seller by Mr. Scouries…Buy it before it disappears from the shelves proclaimed the Miami Hooter in it’s weekend Book Review section today….

Riveting, Erotic, Sexy…but these Americans are dreaming if they think they can out swim us shouted the headline in today’s Sydney Star…

Fiction…it can never happen. Sex. Nudity. Naked swimmers?? Not at our Olympic games! was pasted across the front page of the Beijing Peoples Daily…

Allah will destroy these infidels…Women shouldn’t be allowed in the Olympics. Anyone caught reading this story will be stoned warned the Ayatollah Ali Hussein Haji in an editorial in today’s Teheran Tabloid …

One Literotica reader, a woman who is generally quite cloudy in disposition wrote, scouries simply is the best! To read this award winning, best selling authors stories are the highlight of my life. He takes the reader on a voyage of sexual discovery.

Another early commenter wrote, Another fantastic one. Well done! ….I have a habit of reading a story without wanting to know who the author is. Half way through, if I am enjoying it, I will then find out whose work I am reading. Once again it is a piece by you. Well done. Really enjoyed it.

I respectively ask everyone in the Literotica family to read, comment and vote on this my latest work. Thanking you in advance, I remain,

Jim Scouries

 

[jomar]

I love this guy. Do not distain him!

 

[cloudy]

I love this guy. Do not distain him!

Why not? He's a deluded ass.

"Best-seller" on a site where the stories are free? "Award-winning"? Check his stories...not one has won an award. "Most beloved"? Oh, puh-lease. He's a legend only in his own imaginary world.

One Literotica reader, a woman who is generally quite cloudy in disposition wrote, scouries simply is the best! To read this award winning, best selling authors stories are the highlight of my life. He takes the reader on a voyage of sexual discovery.

Don't imply I wrote anything approaching something like that, you complete and utter fraud. I've read one of your stories. It was formulaic, and made me yawn. I won't read another. Either edit your post, or I'll take it up with Laurel.

 

[starrkers]

ROFL!

I don't read much of your stuff, scouries, but I love your self promotion!

 

[drksideofthemoon]

ROFL!

I don't read much of your stuff, scouries, but I love your self promotion!

I thought the whole thing was quite humorous....

 

[scouries]

My Dear Cloudy

A comment to all authors who use this board: I enjoy writing these promotional threads about my stories. Quite frankly, outside of a few others, (perhaps slykwillie and now jomar) most authors simply announce I have a new story out today – please read it or some such line. My theory is that I’m definitely not going to read a story by anyone who can’t entice me a little better than that. What’s it about? Category? Sex content? Where does it take place? Why should somebody read it? Lure me in! Pretend you are writing a promo blurb for a book jacket. Make it a little fun to read these threads.

To My Dear Cloudy,

Re Your comment above:

Why not? He's a deluded ass. "Best-seller" on a site where the stories are free? "Award-winning"? Check his stories...not one has won an award. "Most beloved"? Oh, puh-lease. He's a legend only in his own imaginary world

Don't imply I wrote anything approaching something like that, you complete and utter fraud. I've read one of your stories. It was formulaic, and made me yawn. I won't read another. Either edit your post, or I'll take it up with Laurel.

And from the private message you sent me:

... or I will gladly report you to Laurel, you fraud. I've had many conversations with her, and I'm sure she'll help me in this regard

Tsk, tsk. Threats of censure!! From a woman who won a prize for a story defending free speech. It’s shameful. You should immediately apologize to the community at large.

The strange thing is that less than 100 people in the whole world will ever see this thread and I suspect that maybe 5 total would somehow have drawn the inference that I was referring to you (which of course I wasn’t) until you brought it to their attention. You clearly have some bizarre desire to attract attention to yourself. Talk about ‘imaginary worlds’!

As to your communication with the gods - I’m glad to hear somebody has had ‘many conversations’ with Laurel; it’s something I’ve been trying to achieve for months! When you do get hold of her next I wonder if you could ask her a few questions for me:

a) How is a view defined on this site?

b) What constitutes a legal vote and what an illegal one?

c) Why do romance stories (about 5% of stories submitted) win over 50% of the monthly contests?

d) Is there any plan to adjust the monthly contest rules to alleviate the above problem and allow writers in other Categories a fair chance to win?

e) Why are non-consent stories always listed last on the new story page? Who decides which story goes where on the new story page and why?

f) Who awards those turquoise W’s?

g) Why do the winning stories in the special contests (Nude Day, How To, Halloween, etc., etc.) always seem to have only 30 or 40 votes total? It’s sorta embarrassing on a site this big with hundreds of thousands of readers that our winning stories somehow always manage to have so few votes.

h) Has there been any thought given to producing a list that shows the all-time ‘Most Votes Received’?

i) How about allowing everyone to see the total votes, the rating and the number of views of all stories on the site? An open book so to speak.

j) How about doing away with the red H’s, those red H’s that seem to produce so much anger and jealousy among we authors?

k) How can we encourage more feedback from our readers?

l) What happened to the thread on this board with all the naked pussy on it? It seems to have disappeared.

Cloudy, I do have other questions but perhaps we better start with just these. Please let me know what Laurel says when you talk to her next. You can get me at scouries at yahoo.com.

Finally - when you write above; "Best-seller" on a site where the stories are free

Are you implying that you aren’t receiving any payment for your stories? I thought everyone who submitted stories here got paid. Maybe it’s only we "Most beloved" authors.

It’s always a pleasure, have a nice day,
JRS

 

[cloudy]

I don't see why I should attempt to explain anything to you. You'll only assume that you hold some significance to me.

Take it up with Laurel yourself, since you're so "well-beloved." Actually, if you only halfway paid attention, you could answer most of those yourself.



eta: you do know, don't you, that's it's against forum rules to post the contents of PMs?

And, I do get paid for my stories...I am published.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

f) Who awards those turquoise W’s?

I dunno...but I have two that I requested be removed...

 

[CeriseNoire]

I dunno...but I have two that I requested be removed...

Don't you get those automatically after you win a contest?

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Don't you get those automatically after you win a contest?

Yes, either a special contest (Halloween, Holiday Contest, Valentines etc), or one of the monthly contests.

 

[starrkers]

Will they take them away if you ask?

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Will they take them away if you ask?

I'm hoping so...I pm'd Laurel a few days ago...so far no response...

 

[kandie]

…or at least reading about it.

[size=+2]

Gym ‘Member’ Ship[/size]​

by scouries​

Mature Category​

​

A young American teenager, a virgin, bends forward and grasps the front of the starting block, her perfectly shaped derriere pointed invitingly skyward. She looks angrily to her left, watches with distain the middle aged salesman who had the temerity to challenge her, Melissa Taylor, to a race.

The fool smiles pityingly at her and then, in one deft motion, pushes the colorful Hawaiian shorts he’s wearing down his legs and bares his shockingly large maleness to her gaping eyes.

“But,” she starts to protest even as he propels himself off the blocks and leaves her teetering over the water.

“You’re a cheat,” she charges later, hating that this man has beaten her.

“You’ll never win a Gold Medal if you’re so easily fooled Miss Taylor,” he laughs as he takes her check. But he can’t help but wonder as he watches the fuming coed why such a beautiful girl is still a virgin. Is she one of those Lesbians he keeps reading about?

In this new story by Literotica’s most beloved author, James R. Scouries, the reader is led through a titillating exploration of the relationship between an experienced, older man and a young girl even as they prepare to bring a gold medal back from Beijing.Jim Scouries

Are you for real? Your comments made want to throw up.........all over your shoes!

I have stories on Literotica and would not think of writing BS like this. If your story is that good, give the readers time to say so. You are making up things to make yourself look better and put yourelf in the same category as the best authors here. I tried finding that quote cloudy" wrote or you say she wrote and it's not here.

I suggest you ask the authors for their own feedback! AFTER all this author and the others here do have functioning braincells and I/we can speak for ourselves.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Are you for real? Your comments made want to throw up.........all over your shoes!

I have stories on Literotica and would not think of writing BS like this. If your story is that good, give the readers time to say so. You are making up things to make yourself look better and put yourelf in the same category as the best authors here. I tried finding that quote cloudy" wrote or you say she wrote and it's not here.

I suggest you ask the authors for their own feedback! AFTER all this author and the others here do have functioning braincells and I/we can speak for ourselves.

Yeah, he's for real. Love him or hate him, he's original...

 

[kandie]

I do not know scouries well enough to love or hate him. I just thought the posted advertisement was a bit too dang much. TTFN

 

[drksideofthemoon]

I do not know scouries well enough to love or hate him. I just thought the posted advertisement was a bit too dang much. TTFN

I took the advertisment as tongue in cheek...Scouries is like chili powder...a little can go a long way...

 

[Babee_girl]

She sits at her desk reading the posted messaged on the lit forum for the day. When she comes across this one, starts tapping her fingers and wondering if this guy is really getting what he needs. Mainly because if he did, he wouldn’t need to boast like this…..it really shows his lack of self esteem and intelligence. Then she admitted that it did what he wanted it too, got her to read his stories.

 

[scouries]

12" statuette??

Miss Cloudy

Thanks! It takes a big person to take the first step towards reconciliation. Especially someone who has called the other a “Liar” , “Deluded ass”, “Fraud”, and “Formulaic writer who made me yawn”.

At first when I heard you had applied to join the ‘Scouries World Fan Club’ I thought it was a joke but now I recognize it for what it really is – a simple heartfelt apology from a shy woman.

Bravo Miss C. I ACCEPT!!!! Now both of us can let bygones be bygones and start afresh.

FYI – My staff informs me that our official membership kit, including the sealed and signed certificate; the wallet sized, embossed membership card; the five, 8 by 11 glossies of yours truly; and of course the colored, life-size, laminated poster of the author, naked and erect, is already in the mail to you. (I’ve found that many female members choose to attach the poster to the ceiling above their beds)

Although you only chose the one year $49.99 membership and not the three year Triple X one, as a measure of my goodwill I also included, free of charge, the 12” statuette/transformer that usually is included only with longer memberships.

As you probably know, this Oscar-like little statuette, made of faux bronze, and a perfect likeness of myself, is a beautiful addition to any home. And then of course, when needed, a few quick twists and turns and voila, it transforms into an advanced, battery operated, pulsating penile replacement tool. It’s a tool that also includes a clitoral stimulator and a g-spot manipulator, and promises to satisfy your every sexual whim. I know you’ll enjoy it as you read and reread my stories far into the future.

And I definitely look forward to finally meeting you, perhaps at my next story reading at the Southeaster Chapter of Scouries World. Tentatively it’s set for May 27th in Tuscaloosa.

Jim

 

[cloudy]

Miss Cloudy

Thanks! It takes a big person to take the first step towards reconciliation. Especially someone who has called the other a “Liar” , “Deluded ass”, “Fraud”, and “Formulaic writer who made me yawn”.

At first when I heard you had applied to join the ‘Scouries World Fan Club’ I thought it was a joke but now I recognize it for what it really is – a simple heartfelt apology from a shy woman.

Bravo Miss C. I ACCEPT!!!! Now both of us can let bygones be bygones and start afresh.

FYI – My staff informs me that our official membership kit, including the sealed and signed certificate; the wallet sized, embossed membership card; the five, 8 by 11 glossies of yours truly; and of course the colored, life-size, laminated poster of the author, naked and erect, is already in the mail to you. (I’ve found that many female members choose to attach the poster to the ceiling above their beds)

Although you only chose the one year $49.99 membership and not the three year Triple X one, as a measure of my goodwill I also included, free of charge, the 12” statuette/transformer that usually is included only with longer memberships.

As you probably know, this Oscar-like little statuette, made of faux bronze, and a perfect likeness of myself, is a beautiful addition to any home. And then of course, when needed, a few quick twists and turns and voila, it transforms into an advanced, battery operated, pulsating penile replacement tool. It’s a tool that also includes a clitoral stimulator and a g-spot manipulator, and promises to satisfy your every sexual whim. I know you’ll enjoy it as you read and reread my stories far into the future.

And I definitely look forward to finally meeting you, perhaps at my next story reading at the Southeaster Chapter of Scouries World. Tentatively it’s set for May 27th in Tuscaloosa.

Jim

It's a good thing you're so impressed with yourself.

(btw - I don't even live in the states anymore )

You know, once all the delusion is slogged through, you actually do self-promotion fairly well. Too bad you have to include so many lies and half-truths in what you say.

Hey, here's a novel idea: Try telling the truth to go with your enthusiasm for your own writing.

 

[kandie]

It's a good thing you're so impressed with yourself.

(btw - I don't even live in the states anymore )

You know, once all the delusion is slogged through, you actually do self-promotion fairly well. Too bad you have to include so many lies and half-truths in what you say.

Hey, here's a novel idea: Try telling the truth to go with your enthusiasm for your own writing.

I agree with cloudy, drop the BS and let the readers and authors see the real you....you'll be amazed as how much better things will be. As it is now, your stupid advertisement made me look at your stories......and now, it just makes me want to throw up. Make it real baby--or give it up. TTFN

 

[elfin_odalisque]

I agree with cloudy, drop the BS and let the readers and authors see the real you....you'll be amazed as how much better things will be. As it is now, your stupid advertisement made me look at your stories......and now, it just makes me want to throw up. Make it real baby--or give it up. TTFN

Just to second Kandie. You're about half-way to being a good writer.

If you stopped pissing people off without reason, you'd get better scores. Sure, by ranting you get the attention, but you don't win our respect.