Swimming Lessons - A question for the parents

[Rubyfruit]

My 6-year old son starts swim lessons today. Well, he's signed up for them anyway. He went with me to sign up, he saw the pool and we've been talking about it for three weeks, but I'm afraid that when the time comes, he'll get scared and refuse to get in the water.

Any ideas on what to do if that happens?

 

[Asendin]

well im not a parent but if you go in with him it might help, also when he sees the other kids in the water (assuming there are others) that may help him as he will see there really isnt much to be afraid of

 

[bluntforcemama]

All can be solved with water wings.

 

[bluespoke]

Coax, cajole, bribe but never force.

 

[PepperminTrish]

My 6-year old son starts swim lessons today. Well, he's signed up for them anyway. He went with me to sign up, he saw the pool and we've been talking about it for three weeks, but I'm afraid that when the time comes, he'll get scared and refuse to get in the water.

Any ideas on what to do if that happens?

Has he shown fear of the water before?
The only thing that I can think of is try and get him to explain 'why' he's afraid if he shows fear of getting in the water. Maybe if he's able to at least give you an idea of what scares him, you can go from there. Also, I would think that if this does happen, that he wouldn't be the first and the instructor would be a very big help.

I hope it all goes wonderfully for him.

 

[Tantanah]

Would they allow you to go in the water with him?

 

[marksgirl]

I too think that when he sees the other children having fun he will want to jump right in. Kids can't resist fun!

 

[Rubyfruit]

Thanks, those were all good suggestions.

I don't think they want the parents in the pool at his age, only with the real little ones.

I'll have to call the pool and ask about the water wings.

No, I would never force, but I do want him to learn for safety reasons.

 

[knightstalker]

My son was one who wanted to take the lessons but when it came time to get in he wouldn't do it he got scared..I went with him the first time everyday he had lessons and still wouldn't do ..I told him that I wasn't going to pay for lessons next year but i got the ole puppy dog eyes and did it again the next year

Well the little shit wouldn't go in again and the instructors told me to leave and let them try a few things and they failed to so needless to say he still can't swim and hates the water so I guess there isn't anything you can do if he doesn't want to..

 

[Elizabeth]

Thanks, those were all good suggestions.

I don't think they want the parents in the pool at his age, only with the real little ones.

I'll have to call the pool and ask about the water wings.

No, I would never force, but I do want him to learn for safety reasons.

They don't want the parents there. I was a lifeguard and taught lessons to the little ones when I was in HS. It's a good idea that you want him to learn Ruby. But don't stay there. I always had the rents say goodbye and go have coffee for an hour or something.

 

[Calamity Jane]

I dunno, my kids are water rats. They've been in the water almost since birth. When the time comes for formal swimming lessons, it probably won't be an issue.

But, speaking as a child who was chronically fearful of everything... don't push. Don't make a big deal about it. If he's scared, it's legitimate. Stay with him, let him watch the first lesson with his feet hanging in the water if that's all he's willing to do.

 

[Purple Haze]

Tough call, all I know is that forcing the issue isn't the best thing even though every child needs to know how to swim. I remember being at the pool one time and listening to some mother screaming at her kid from outside the fence, the kid was a little reluctant. It was everything I could do to not turn and kindly tell her to shut the fuck up. I know you wouldn't do this Ruby, but I have a kid that's not extremely adventurous. If he doesn't go in, you should at least make him stay there and watch the others, by the next day he'll see that it's okay. Being able to swim is vital.

 

[Spinaroonie]

Throw candy* in the water or accidently bump him.

* May be a dollar bill instead

 

[Rubyfruit]

Being able to swim is vital.

I agree. It's very scary having three non-swimmers in the family. I'm terrified when I visit a friend who has a pond in her backyard.

Good idea on watching if he doesn't want to go in. That's what I'll do.

SD, he's more motivated by money than candy.

 

[shyybabe]

Usually the teachers are very patient with the children and have lots of experience in handling those with fears.

Sometimes they will let the children sit at the side of the pool to feel like a part of the group. If he doesn't already know anyone in the class it won't take him long to make friends at that age.

Never force him to try, just quietly support him but be firm with his staying through the lesson even if he doesn't go in the pool. Soon he'll realize there was nothing to be scared of.

Good luck.

 

[SINthysist]

You see all types when you teach. It's best to let the instructor handle it. I've had kids that loved it, scared but loosened up, and ones that I've went to mom and dad and said, "Kid's develop differently. Let's try again in sixth months to a year."



Then again, just chunk them little otters in! Instinct will take over...

 

[Weird Harold]

Usually the teachers are very patient with the children and have lots of experience in handling those with fears.

Sometimes they will let the children sit at the side of the pool to feel like a part of the group. If he doesn't already know anyone in the class it won't take him long to make friends at that age.

Peer Pressure and an experienced instructor will get him in the pool faster than anything Mom can do.

Ask your son if he wants you to stay and watch or would rather you didn't watch. At Six, he's probably starting to think "I'm big and don't need Mommy," about some things and having you watching might inhibit his bravery.

 

[amelia]

*ok..i have to admit..i haven't read any of this thread..so..what i'm going to say may have already been said..but..*

i taught swimming lessons ever summer for the last 12 summers (except this one..i did cheerleading camp instead) kids are usually freaked out the first lesson..i'm assuming there will be other kids there..so peer pressure will help and hopefully he will have a gentle, easy-going teacher...

as a teacher, i usually try not to make a big deal if a kid doesn't want to get in at first..letting them kick their feet in the water and watching me with the other kids..they usually decide they want in..

and the first couple of lessons will just be him holding on the the side of the pool kicking his feel and maybe putting his face in the water...

the instructor is what makes the difference..hopefully you'll get a good one..if not..i'll come up there and help ya out...i'll just need a place to stay...

 

[deliciously_naughty]

First of all...good luck!

If he gets scared, they'll prolly just let him sit on the side of the pool or something. Just keep encouraging him to go...sooner or later the heat or something will motivate him into the water. I'd love to go swimming right now it's so hot. That may be the right angle...how cool the water is, etc. If all else fails, never underestimate the power of bribery.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

While I have agree with everybody's suggestions of no force, I haven't seen anybody suggest this yet:

Take him there alone (no one else around or in the pool) and just have him get in the shallow end. Tell him he is not going to be swimming, just wading around in the water - and stick to that; no swimming unless he proposes it.

What I am trying to avoid is the embaressment and stress that would come from having him have to choose between doing something he is afraid of and having other kids see that he is afraid of the water.

If you yourself are a non-swimmer, then have someone who is proficient enough to be safe, and is trusted by your son go with him, and you be there for moral support. The whole thing should be very low key - it could consist of just standing in the shallow end for 5 minutes to show him that water up to his waste or chest is not going to drown him. Breaking the ice so to speak will go a long ways towards making it easier for him when the lesson come around.

This assumes of course that he has not been in a pool before.

 

[Never]

SINthysist:
"Then again, just chunk them little otters in! Instinct will take over..."
Humans do have a swimming instinct and are the only primates made for water. That said, I'm surprised at how often kids almost drown. I used to living in an apartment complex with a pool that went to six feet and a bunch of kids. During the summer I spent a lot of time swimming around during the day and always ended up fishing out kids who would suddenly forget how to swim.

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[Rubyfruit]

Ok, we're back. It went, um, ok for the first lesson. He got in the water willingly, but after a while got scared and started crying and wanting out. He could barely touch the bottom in the shallow end. The water was up to his chin and that freaked him out a bit and the other kids (who appeared to have had lessons already) were splashing and kicking and getting water in his face, which didn't make him happy.

The teacher was a kid herself - in fact, nobody who worked at the pool looked like they were out of high school - and didn't seem very experienced.

I'm going to bring him back during free swim and go in the water with him. I think this will make him feel more comfortable and maybe eventually (hopefully before classes end), he'll join in with the class.

I wasn't impressed with the pool staff at all and would have complained had I seen anybody who looked like an adult. The lifeguard spent the entire session chatting with her friends. It is a community pool, and therefore cheap, so I guess you get what you pay for.

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[Bob Peale]

Okay, I'll give this a try as both a parent and an instructor.

First off, JUST SAY NO TO WATER WINGS. They often cause more problems than they solve. Although they do provide buoyancy, some of the fallbacks are:

1. A child may grow to believe that they can't be in the water WITHOUT them. As an instructor, many a 9 year old came to my class and refused to go in without them, despite having been in the water for several years.
2. They create a false sense of security. Depending on the age and the maturity of the child, they are prone to recklessness, and don't always understand what is appropriate and inappropriate to do around the water because they believe that the wings/floaties will support them no matter what.
3. They hold a child in an unnatural swimming position. It is difficult to position properly on your front or on your back, and it does not encourage a child to put his face in the water.
   [/list=1]
   
   All that being said, the most important thing here is patience. Just like an adult, every day is nota good day, every skill is not an easy skill to master, and its important to remember that its been a long time since you experienced what he is feeling.
   
   At best, the instructor is well versed in methods to swim, but they are not well versed in YOUR child. If he' sscared, its ok for him to get out of the water - there is nothing to prove by keeping him in. But encourage him to sit by the side of the pool until the class ends rather than joining you in the stand/chairs. A lot of times, watching the other children do things will encourage him to get back in.
   
   Take stock of his physical comfort. The twins have no body fat, so they are cold 10 months out of the year regardless of the air temperature. So I bought them wetsuits. A $45 investment turned a 5 minute visti to the pool to a 2 hour one. Money well spent. Other things to look for are excessive eye irritatioon, swimmers ear, and an uncomfortable bathing suit (too large/too small).
   
   Also, show enthusiasm for EVERYTHING he does in the water. A skill as simple as just blowing bubbles is a huge accomplishment for some kids. Be excited for him without demanding that he show competencies before he is ready.
   
   The final thing that is INCREDIBLY important is reinforcement. At young ages, the only way to learn to swim is to practice. That means that after the summer, regular visits toa pool (indoor or outdoor) are important (for some people, regular is every week; for others, once a month). Let him see Mommy and Daddy in the water - children like to imitate their parents. Also, to see you comfortable will make him comfortable. Buy a kickboard and a rubber ducky and some balls. Play games, make it fun, let him master the basics. He doesn't need to be competition ready - if he can learn to put his face in the water and paddle his legs, the rest will come.
   
   We started Wynken and Blynken very early - baby pool in the back at 1, baby pool at the club at 2. Now at 3 they dive off the edge in the 5 foot section, paddle out 3 feet, turn around and paddle back to te wall, as well as swim under my legs and play tag with each other. But we never rushed them, and we waited for them to ask us to try new things. But we also keep them in the water year round.
   
   And yes, Nod has already been in as well