Sustaining an intercontental relationship

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Sustaining an intercontinental relationship

I realize that many of you manage, or have managed a relationship that are separated by not only miles between, but also ones that are in different parts of the world. My-Sir is located in the UK, and I am in South Fl. We haven't seen one another since he left in May, and it won't be until October when we are reunited. This is very difficult for me to handle, even though we are in contact on a daily basis thru emailing and I/m-ing. When possible, we also talk on the phone. All of this is wonderful, but I long for His touch and to be able to submit to Him. Yes, I know that he can command me as we I/m or talk on the phone, but...........it isn't the same. Is there some advice that anyone can share that would help me to survive the long months ahead????
Thank you for any thoughts that you might have.

 

[CarolineOh]

I am sure that when Ebonyfire and tavish have some time to post, they will be more than happy to tell you how they have managed to keep their cross-oceanic relationship so vibrant.

 

[BadForm]

I and my wife did almost what you are doing - the difference being the state she lived in. Hmmmm... how did we do it?

1) $1000 per month each in phonebills - AT&T nearly had a heart attack when we married and that stopped.

2) Pretty much anything that wasn't invested in phonebills and living was invested in making sure we could visit as often as we absolutely could - 4 intercontinental visits and a final one to go through immigration in a 1 year period.

3) LOTS AND LOTS of reassurance, comfort talk, assurance of absuolte dedication, discussing everything from sexuality to work.

4) Strength. If you do not have strength you are not going to make an IC relationship work - because, there is no easy way to say this, it is gonna hurt worse than the worst thing a cruel, insensitive dom could ever do. And its gonna be a continual pain, and after visiting it is gonna hurt worse.

5) Learn to enjoy mutual self-pleasure with your partner on the phone. No, it's NOT the same thing and anyone who says it is needs their head read, but with imagination, love and dedication, it can be enough to get you through some.

6) If you can't afford the phone, check out I-phone type software. A voice is better than words. I-phone was annoying when we tried it, very crackly and prone to breaking, but hopefully, with advanced technology now it's improved. Can't swear by that though.

7) Remember and work on guidelines 1 & 2, within whatever your limits are. There were days we ate bread and water almost, just so we'd know we had a few dollars more for an extra phonecall.

8) Take strength from any friends who know what you're going through. A support network is extremely important when going through a difficult/traumatic period, and I can't think of any better way to describe intercontinental love.

9) If you have something you can focus on when it hurts - whether that is religion, work or whatever, it might give you a little strength to get through. That is one of the ways people have got through LDR's for as long as they've existed.


Anyhow, just my personal experience. You have my best wishes and my sympathies. Keep strong, keep dedicated, and keep loving.

BF

 

[Trainerman]

Well, well, well.....

Just look what happens when you don't log in for a day or two !!......you find a post that you really didn't expect !

Some very good advice though....thanks folks.
(If confused, look at the screename of the originator of this thread...and then look at mine......you might just get the connection !)

(Wanders off making vague muttering about no permission...and possible entry in the punishment book)

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKES!!!!! :-0

Rut ro! I think I may be in for some severe repremands here.
Oh well, I'm sure that MY-Sir will make them pleasurable, (sputter, sputter); I mean painful!!!


Thanks BadForm for your advice, I will do my best to follow your recommendations. Now, if only the next 3 1/2 months fly by, I'll be fine!


And to MY-Sir I say, I was only trying to find some comfort and knowledge. Something to help me along the way, until you are able to stand over me once again.

Pursue not the outer entanglements,
Dwell not on the inner void;
Be serene in the oneness of things,
And,,,,dualism vanishes by itself

 

[catalina_francisco]

Can so relate to this dilemma......have to admit I didn't handle it well at all after we finally met, married, and had to part again. The solution? He sent my fare and ordered me on the next possible flight to his side and we began to try and sort out my permanent move from here. Distraction was too great and it wasn't until I returned a few months later to Australia that I was able to perform the quickest and messiest international move in history I think.

7 weeks to discover the house trashed by my daughter, clean it up as best I could, sell it, finalise my life there, and arrange shipping a couple of days before flying back to The Netherlands. I was still sorting things when the shippers arrived, still finalising finances on the way to the airport, and had nightmares about it all for weeks after my return. Thankfully the nightmares are mostly gone though they reappear from time to time. Would not want to still be there trying to cope with being away from his love and dominance.

Catalina http://www.smilies4you.de/content/wspezial/weihtiere008.gif

 

[Bandit58]

I'm in the process of relocating right now, from New Zealand to Australia. God I never knew I had so many clothes or so much damn rubbish to get rid of, or places to call like bank, insurance companies, movers, cancel this and that......and the hardest part of all will be leaving my children and friends. The kids are 20 and almost 16 (the 16yo lives with her dad and has done since April last year when I left). I had a big talk to her yesterday and she's fine with her mum going away, I've told her I'm only a phone call or email away and she'll be able to come to Sydney for holidays (that sweetened the deal quite a bit )

At least I don't have to sell a house, but there's a car to be got rid of along with most of my furniture (what there is of it) plus decide what to take and what to leave......I have a headache just thinking about it.....and with Christmas as well Plus missing Master like crazy

But I know it's all worth it in the end......

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm in the process of relocating right now, from New Zealand to Australia. God I never knew I had so many clothes or so much damn rubbish to get rid of, or places to call like bank, insurance companies, movers, cancel this and that......and the hardest part of all will be leaving my children and friends. The kids are 20 and almost 16 (the 16yo lives with her dad and has done since April last year when I left). I had a big talk to her yesterday and she's fine with her mum going away, I've told her I'm only a phone call or email away and she'll be able to come to Sydney for holidays (that sweetened the deal quite a bit )

At least I don't have to sell a house, but there's a car to be got rid of along with most of my furniture (what there is of it) plus decide what to take and what to leave......I have a headache just thinking about it.....and with Christmas as well Plus missing Master like crazy

But I know it's all worth it in the end......

I can relate to what you are saying. I brought my 18 year old with me but had to leave my 21 year old daughter and precious 3 year old granddaughter behind. Messenger is great, phone is wonderful, but I imagine Christmas will be a little difficult.

LOL...clothes, yes. Seems far more than you realised....and 20 years of hoarding or not getting time to sort through is also a nightmare to face. I ended up leaving behind or giving away heaps of things I wish I hadn't or have since discovered were quite valueable. I also found the council had a charity section where they would pick up any furniture or old electrical things (working or not) that I didn't have time or energy to sell. It was a free service and went to a good cause so I liked that. No sense dwelling on what was left behind now though so I try and remain focused on the blessings I have and moving forward. Sounds as though your meeting went well and you are looking forward to the move which is a big thing. I wish you well.

Catalina

 

[Bandit58]

Thank you Catalina
I'm hoping to make the big move by the end of January.....I'm spending Christmas with my kids and New Year with my friends and saying a proper goodbye before I leave. Master has said for me to take my time and make sure everything is done right but it's real hard being away from Him even though we chat every day and post on the Lit boards......

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thank you Catalina
I'm hoping to make the big move by the end of January.....I'm spending Christmas with my kids and New Year with my friends and saying a proper goodbye before I leave. Master has said for me to take my time and make sure everything is done right but it's real hard being away from Him even though we chat every day and post on the Lit boards......

Is good to take the time if you can....and such caring seems in keeping with what I know of Gil.

Catalina http://www.smilies4you.de/content/wspezial/weihtiere019.gif

 

[guy_fit_gta]

My LDR experience

I made the decision to fly across Canada a year and half ago to meet with my Mistress and while i hate to be apart, I wouldn't give it up for anything. We see each other every 4-8 weeks, taking turns flying to see each other for 3-5 days at a time. We talk on the phone every day.

It is hard, and we try not to show our tears when the other has to get on a plane afew a wonderful few days together.

I agree, its the hardest thing I have every had to do, but, at the same time, its to most rewarding risk I have ever taken in my life.