Surrogacy
- Thread starter lavender
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WriterDom
Good to the last drop
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2000
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- 20,077
You can cut and paste all you want. It only puts one person in a temper tantrum and he's ignoring me. 
The only problem I see with surrogacy is the birth mother changing her mind at the last minute or after the birth and then there is a battle with the kid in the middle.
The only problem I see with surrogacy is the birth mother changing her mind at the last minute or after the birth and then there is a battle with the kid in the middle.
I happened to do an extensive research paper on this very topic. Started off as being "pro" and wanted to find data to support my position. What I discovered put me off to the entire thing, and my paper was written from a "con" perspective.
This is, in fact, the buying and selling of a human being - illegal in most countries. The emotional risks far outweigh the few sucess stories one hears about. Typically, the surrogate wins visitation rights, which means that an infertile couple will have this woman in their lives always.
There have been many, many horror stories with this. Some among them: a man who contracted with a woman to be a surrogate. She did everything necessary to ensure a safe pregnancy and healthy child. However, the child was born with major birth defects. The surrogate willingly upheld her part of the bargain. The father, who hadn't planned on a child with birth defects, said he only wanted a child free of defects. The baby became a ward of the state.
There can also be a question of organ donation, if the child of a surrogate should require it to save his/her life. The best match for anyone requiring organ donation is a sibling, and if the child of a surrogate has half siblings, they may be the best candidates. However, the surrogate mother and her family are under no obligation (and sometimes are removed emotionally from the child) to move ahead with this. If the child cannot find another match, the parents must watch their child die, knowing that there may be siblings who would provide a perfect match.
This seems like a good idea on the surface. But once enough research is conducted - including talking to women who were themselves surrogates - one become convinced that this option is truly a terrifying one.
This is, in fact, the buying and selling of a human being - illegal in most countries. The emotional risks far outweigh the few sucess stories one hears about. Typically, the surrogate wins visitation rights, which means that an infertile couple will have this woman in their lives always.
There have been many, many horror stories with this. Some among them: a man who contracted with a woman to be a surrogate. She did everything necessary to ensure a safe pregnancy and healthy child. However, the child was born with major birth defects. The surrogate willingly upheld her part of the bargain. The father, who hadn't planned on a child with birth defects, said he only wanted a child free of defects. The baby became a ward of the state.
There can also be a question of organ donation, if the child of a surrogate should require it to save his/her life. The best match for anyone requiring organ donation is a sibling, and if the child of a surrogate has half siblings, they may be the best candidates. However, the surrogate mother and her family are under no obligation (and sometimes are removed emotionally from the child) to move ahead with this. If the child cannot find another match, the parents must watch their child die, knowing that there may be siblings who would provide a perfect match.
This seems like a good idea on the surface. But once enough research is conducted - including talking to women who were themselves surrogates - one become convinced that this option is truly a terrifying one.
SunnyGirl
pretty in pink
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2001
- Posts
- 1,391
I've only recently started researching this topic, having found out that I'll likely never carry my own children. It's frightening in some aspects, and to me it all seems to boil down to a woman becoming nothing more than a rented or borrowed womb.
My sister has offered to be a surrogate in the even that I decide to have children, and this will entail more research, both into surrogacy and adoption, before any final decisions.
SexyChele, if you could point me in the direction that you took or reading material that you used, it would be greatly appreciated. This is a totally new and foreign concept to me, and I'm not sure where I'll go with it.
Thanks
My sister has offered to be a surrogate in the even that I decide to have children, and this will entail more research, both into surrogacy and adoption, before any final decisions.
SexyChele, if you could point me in the direction that you took or reading material that you used, it would be greatly appreciated. This is a totally new and foreign concept to me, and I'm not sure where I'll go with it.
Thanks
SunnyGirl
I didn't mean to come off as all "doom and gloom", as there are some sucessful stories of surrogacy out there. They are just hard to find.
I'd be glad to share whatever research I have, however, my research is at home so I can post a complete bibliography tonight. Meanwhile, a search on the 'net or in the library under "surrogacy" or "surrogate parenthood" should point you to several excellent books and articles. Try to look at both sides, since you may one day want to consider this option. (Actually, I believe I did read of a sucessful surrogacy where a sister was a surrogate for her sister - but the idea that the "aunt" would always be part of the child's life played a big role in her decision)
There is just a lot to consider - more than most of the baby brokers put you through when making this type of decision.
I'm sorry to hear of your situation, Sunny Girl - that's gotta be tough to face.
I didn't mean to come off as all "doom and gloom", as there are some sucessful stories of surrogacy out there. They are just hard to find.
I'd be glad to share whatever research I have, however, my research is at home so I can post a complete bibliography tonight. Meanwhile, a search on the 'net or in the library under "surrogacy" or "surrogate parenthood" should point you to several excellent books and articles. Try to look at both sides, since you may one day want to consider this option. (Actually, I believe I did read of a sucessful surrogacy where a sister was a surrogate for her sister - but the idea that the "aunt" would always be part of the child's life played a big role in her decision)
There is just a lot to consider - more than most of the baby brokers put you through when making this type of decision.
I'm sorry to hear of your situation, Sunny Girl - that's gotta be tough to face.
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