Super Manilow: Fighting Crime Down Under!

[3113]

Well, I would think twice about robbing a bank playing Manilow songs. Wouldn't you?

Barry Manilow: Crime Fighter

local council in Sydney, Australia, is taking radical measures against car-revving youths — the calming tones of singer Barry Manilow. Beginning in July, Manilow's greatest hits will be piped into one car park in a bid to drive the youths away.

Bill Saravinovski, deputy mayor of Rockdale, a suburb of Sydney, said the decision was taken because the youths were intimidating local people.

Saravinovski said the Manilow songs should not annoy residents, but would be loud enough for the youths to hear it.

"Daggy music is one way to make the hoons leave an area, because they can't stand the music," he told the Australian newspaper the Daily Telegraph.

"Daggy" is Australian slang for unfashionable or uncool.

 

[Guest]

Well, I would think twice about robbing a bank playing Manilow songs. Wouldn't you?

Bwahah!

They should get some Engelbert Humperdink, or maybe Liberace, next on the turntable...

 

[rgraham666]

The horror, the horror.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

"I Need Your Help, Barry Manilow"

Sounds like all you Manilow "fans" need to check out these Ray Stevens' lyrics. It's arrange to one of Manilow's songs but I can't remember which one.

==

My account is overdrawn
My car slid down the hill
I`m giving up I`ve got no more to give
My beagle bit the vet
And my daughter`s on the pill
And my ficus plant has lost it`s will to live

I owe Master Charge my life
I`ve got adolescent skin
My doctor says I can`t use any salt
My waist is getting thick
But my hair is getting thin
And my house is on the San Andreas fault

I need your help Barry Manilow
I`m miserable and I don`t know what to do
Sing me a song, sing it sad and low
No one knows how to suffer quite like you

My shrink is out of town
My love life is a joke
My ex-wife sold my diary to Rhona
All my ash trays overflow
And I don`t even smoke
And my sinuses came back from Arizona

{spoken}
Hello Mandy, it`s me
I`m here at the Copa
You know the Copa Cabana
I know I don`t write
the songs that make the whole world sing
But I do know one thing, Mandy
I can`t smile without you
Forget Lola
Remember that weekend in New England
I thought then that
this could be the magic at last
Now here I am trying to get the feeling again

I need your help Barry Manilow
I`m all alone and sitting on the shelf
Sing me a song, sing it sad and low
I feel like feeling sorry for myself

I need your help Barry Manilow
Your songs can really comfort the unlucky
Sing me a song, sing it sad and low
I wish I didn`t have to feel so yucky
I wish I didn`t have to feel... so yucky

==

Rumple Foreskin

 

[R. Richard]

Laugh if you will. However, bars in the US have long known that they can clear undesirable elements from the premises just by playing music that the undesirable elements do not like. It works like magic. There is no trouble, the undesirable elements just pick up and leave. In fact, Bob Dylan got his start as a clearing act. That is, he played his music in a set designed to clear the house so that a new group of patrons could comre in and buy booze. First Bob Dylan, now Barry Manilow! Can Liberace be far behind? [Don't even think about Lawrence Welk, he is probably a violation of the Geneva Convention.]

 

[oggbashan]

Rolf Harris would be a good crowd clearing choice but there are better ones:

The Portsmouth Sinfonietta

Florence Foster Jenkins

Florence would ensure that there were NO customers and all the staff would quit.

Hear her perform: Florence.

Almost every site that has featured her has had bandwidth problems as the site becomes popular. Miserable Melodies is down because of cost.

Og