suggestions for story development requested and appreciated

[sweetnpetite]

I've got the first draft of my next submisson done, but I am working on the improvements to really make it sizzle. My charater (no name yet) is driving down a dirt road in a truck with her boyfriend. She is wearing a white halter-top, (not sure what kind of skirt yet, but somethng in a dark color and I think with some kind of straps, laces or ties) and four inch strappy sandal heels with a sexy little bow by the feet. Her hair is gently teased, but not outrageosly big. Its a nice spring day, unusually warm for the end of March. She obvioulsy has been somewhere "semi-formal" but where? This may seem like a dumb quesion for porn, but people ask me these qestions all the time, and the answer might help me to understand my character better. She's probably upper-middle class, outgoing yet appropriately behaved in public, sexually adventurous, and into bondage and BDSM games (hense all the straps and ties on her clothes) but that is not the focus of the story. (Its not BDSM, its fetish with elements of s/M and "consentual nonconsent") Can anybody help me?

 

[KillerMuffin]

What's the plot?

So far you have a lot of clothing description, a little character description and a setting.

 

[sweetnpetite]

What's the plot?

So far you have a lot of clothing description, a little character description and a setting.

I didn't want to go into the plot too much, becuase its fetish, and I didn't want to discourage those who might be turned off by the particular fetish from posting a reply. It's basicly just a sex story though, nothing beyond that. The girl is forced into doing something that makes her very uncomfortable. Does that help?

Also, I've got a little more in my head and in the story already, I just posted what I thought would most help somebody to picture her and be able to give suggestions of where she might be going on this particulare day in that kind of outfit and that would lead her down this particular road in the middle of nowhere. I just don't get out that much I guess! I could say that they where visiting friends or relatives out of town, but why would she be all dressed up? I want her to have a reason to look nice other than she just lliked the outfit.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

She is wearing a white halter-top, (not sure what kind of skirt yet, but somethng in a dark color and I think with some kind of straps, laces or ties) and four inch strappy sandal heels with a sexy little bow by the feet. Her hair is gently teased, but not outrageosly big. Its a nice spring day, unusually warm for the end of March. She obvioulsy has been somewhere "semi-formal" but where?

Wait: White halter top, a laced skirt & 4" heels? That's "semi-formal"?

How about these:
(1) A Mobster Truck Rally/ Demolition Derby
(2) A dance at the mobile home park
(3) A "Miss White Trash" contest
(4) Regional finals of the Womens' Mud Wrestling Championship
(5) A Round Girl at a Tough Guy contest

Sorry. Just being snotty

---dr.M.

 

[jfinn]

Re: Re: suggestions for story development requested and appreciated

Wait: White halter top, a laced skirt & 4" heels? That's "semi-formal"?

How about these:
(1) A Mobster Truck Rally/ Demolition Derby
(2) A dance at the mobile home park
(3) A "Miss White Trash" contest
(4) Regional finals of the Womens' Mud Wrestling Championship
(5) A Round Girl at a Tough Guy contest

Sorry. Just being snotty

---dr.M.

Actually I can understand, there are halter tops and then there are halter tops. You didn't specify if this is day or night, so how about some type of garden party? That can be at anytime. Maybe it's a political fundraiser or an engagement party or an older family member's birthday barbeque, anything that might entail casual dress up.

Jayne

 

[sweetnpetite]

Re: Re: Re: suggestions for story development requested and appreciated

Actually I can understand, there are halter tops and then there are halter tops. You didn't specify if this is day or night, so how about some type of garden party? That can be at anytime. Maybe it's a political fundraiser or an engagement party or an older family member's birthday barbeque, anything that might entail casual dress up.

Jayne

Its daytime. I have a picture of the shoes, there not slutty, they're cute, a little flirty. Maybe I shouldn't have said "semi-casual" maybe I should have said "trendy" Anytime you're in heels, its semi-casual to some extent, imo, unless you are overdressed. The garden party is a good idea, but sounds a little stuffy, any suggestions to "lighten it up" engagement party that a good idea too. I like all of your suggestions, and even the "
round girl" one suggested above yours. Even "snotty" answers get the creative juices flowing. (And help me to hone my story. Maybe she's a little more working class after all. Father is a cop or something like that (working class but not factoy or general labor) Her skirt might not have laces, i'm just toying with that idea, don't have the skirt firmly in my mind yet. the shoes are black and the top is white, so the skirt has to pull them together.Please keep the suggestions coming, I love you all!

 

[sweetnpetite]

Maybe one of the more "formal" events at the county fair? Or is that usually autumn? THe time of year could change, so long as its not winter.

 

[jfinn]

Re: Re: Re: Re: suggestions for story development requested and appreciated

Its daytime. I have a picture of the shoes, there not slutty, they're cute, a little flirty. Maybe I shouldn't have said "semi-casual" maybe I should have said "trendy" Anytime you're in heels, its semi-casual to some extent, imo, unless you are overdressed. The garden party is a good idea, but sounds a little stuffy, any suggestions to "lighten it up" engagement party that a good idea too. I like all of your suggestions, and even the "
round girl" one suggested above yours. Even "snotty" answers get the creative juices flowing. (And help me to hone my story. Maybe she's a little more working class after all. Father is a cop or something like that (working class but not factoy or general labor) Her skirt might not have laces, i'm just toying with that idea, don't have the skirt firmly in my mind yet. the shoes are black and the top is white, so the skirt has to pull them together.Please keep the suggestions coming, I love you all!

Too stuffy eh? Then how about a house warming party or a graduation open house?

Jayne

 

[sweetnpetite]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: suggestions for story development requested and appreciated

Too stuffy eh? Then how about a house warming party or a graduation open house?

Jayne

more good ideas! Actually the dicotomy of a garden party and what is about to occure in the story might be just the thing!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Sorry. I don't know women's clothes that well. To me a halter top is pretty much like a bra, isn't it? I mean, it's bare miidriff, no? Or no?

Is she coming from a place where there were a lot of people? Or is she coming back from a date or outing with one or two people? You probably want her to be coming from (and is it where she's going or where she's coming from?) a place that says something about her character. She's not a slut; she's not a prude. She must be living out in the country because of the dirt road. Does she work? Could she be going (or coming) from her job as a hostess at a restaurant? Or to her job as a local TV weather girl on the local radio station? Maybe she lives not too far from town and she works at the local country club?

Could she be a VP of marketing out to open the new store, for which she's over dressed? Her father's retirement party?

Is she going to work at the church bake sale? Does she sing in a band and she's going to do a sunday afternoon wedding gig? Maybe it's her town's 100th anniversary and she's going to founders' day.

Maybe she's going to celebrate Jack Kerouac's birthday on march 22? (Happy Birthday, Jack!)

---dr.M.

 

[MathGirl]

Maybe she's going to celebrate Jack Kerouac's birthday on march 22? (Happy Birthday, Jack!)

---dr.M.

Is that Jack K in your avathingie?

 

[sweetnpetite]

thanks DR. Great suggestions. The weels are turning

A halter top can cover the belly or not, its like a tank top only the straps go around the neck instead of over the shoulders. I'll have to be sure to describe it carefully!

 

[sweetnpetite]

halter top

here's a link that shows some different styles of halter tops. Granted these are all leather, not all halter tops are, they can be made of anything really. They even have halter style dresses, that can be quite formal.


http://www.carolinaleatherworks.com/carolinaleatherworks/ladhaltop521.html

http://www.carolinaleatherworks.com/carolinaleatherworks/ladiesapparel.html

 

[sweetnpetite]

halter top: variations

chinese halter top:

http://www.gzintlinc.com/generic19.html

more like my characters

http://www.asseenonscreen.com/product.asp?sku=1FCTO0241

front and back view of a nice one:

http://crochet.about.com/library/weekly/aa081200.htm

funky style:

http://www.alight.com/11291526.html

sexy:

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main...tem2&menu_folderid=1415921&sCat=WomensApparel

trendy:

http://oxybookstore.com/oxyonline/haltertop.html

gown:

http://mamasmsfortune.safeshopper.com/212/2405.htm?32

that should give you an idea of the variety

 

[sweetnpetite]

one more

beautiful:

http://www.somethingspecialbridal.com/images/ForeverYoursBridesmaids/73105.jpg

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Jeez, Sweet! See how dumb I am? Those are incredible! I especially like the Chinese ones. Something very sexy about being covered up to the neck.

God, I love women in clothes! I like them out of clothes too, but some of the things you guys wear are just too sexy!

And yes, MathGirl, you win dinner with the Dr.. That is Jack in my Av. Old Angel Midnight. What time you wanna pick me up?

---dr.M.

 

[sweetnpetite]

Jeez, Sweet! See how dumb I am? Those are incredible! I especially like the Chinese ones. Something very sexy about being covered up to the neck.

God, I love women in clothes! I like them out of clothes too, but some of the things you guys wear are just too sexy!

And yes, MathGirl, you win dinner with the Dr.. That is Jack in my Av. Old Angel Midnight. What time you wanna pick me up?

---dr.M.

probably no dummer than the average male, lol. Like I said, I'll be sure to describe her outfit with more detail than just "white halter top," which basicly could mean anything anyway! At first I was gonna have her in a t-shirt, no bra, bcup firm breasts, but then I thougth a halter would be sexier and more original. Can't be anything to elaborate though, because its gonna get ruined!

 

[Erlikkhan]

You don't need a plot, just some interesting characters and really hot sex (or whatever erotic fantasy you want to create). She's young (18 of course) and on the surface a dutiful daughter to conservative and wealthy parents who are hosting a barbeque for a local political candidate. Your young lady slips out unnoticed to meet her boyfriend, who her parents have told her never to se again (or don’t know about), for a quick ride in the country and some hot frolicking in his truck or wherever. She, of course, needs to get back before her absence is noticed.

Well that’s how I’d write it, but follow your own nose (or other body parts) on what turns you on…

 

[Svenskaflicka]

She's been to a bar-b-q party with her parents rich and snobby friends. They have made it a point to "dress down", which is why she's only semi-formal.

On their way home, she falls asleep, and is unaware that her boyfriend picks up a hitch-hiker. She wakes up when her boyfriend has parked the car, and starts fondling her. At first, she's all for it, and they have sex in the car. Then, to her surprise, the hitch-hiker, who's been taking a smoke outside of the car, strips, opens the door, and enters the girl anally - as he and the boyfriend has agreed on.

The girl is first surprised, shocked, and a little bit in pain, and she doesn't like it that she's being fucked by someone she can't see who he is, but, she gives in to the feelings.

Perhaps the hitch-hiker is a total stranger, perhaps he's someone they both know and the boyfriend wanted to surprise her... and perhaps this is no-where near what you were thinking of, but, it's a few ideas...

 

[sweetnpetite]

She's been to a bar-b-q party with her parents rich and snobby friends. They have made it a point to "dress down", which is why she's only semi-formal.

On their way home, she falls asleep, and is unaware that her boyfriend picks up a hitch-hiker. She wakes up when her boyfriend has parked the car, and starts fondling her. At first, she's all for it, and they have sex in the car. Then, to her surprise, the hitch-hiker, who's been taking a smoke outside of the car, strips, opens the door, and enters the girl anally - as he and the boyfriend has agreed on.

The girl is first surprised, shocked, and a little bit in pain, and she doesn't like it that she's being fucked by someone she can't see who he is, but, she gives in to the feelings.

Perhaps the hitch-hiker is a total stranger, perhaps he's someone they both know and the boyfriend wanted to surprise her... and perhaps this is no-where near what you were thinking of, but, it's a few ideas...

sounds like a great story! mines already written though, just need to tweek it! I do like the idea that she is purposly dressed down! I hadn't even thought of that. Thanks!

you guys are great. keep em cuming!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Sweetnpetite

I just saw your name and mistook the "n" for an "r" followed by an "i".
In that case your name came out "sweet-ripe-tite"

Surely that's not just chance!

---dr.M.

 

[sweetnpetite]

Re: Sweetnpetite

I just saw your name and mistook the "n" for an "r" followed by an "i".
In that case your name came out "sweet-ripe-tite"

Surely that's not just chance!

---dr.M.

Surely not! Its all true, I asure you. NOw I know how to introduce my self, thank you doctor Mabuese.

btw when I read what you wrote it came into my head llike this,
sweet ripe teet.

that ones not too far off either as I am a breastfeeding mother. -----hey, you in the back! Don't say ewww, you know you want a taste.

(Oh my, I've been a bad, bad girl -see av)

 

[gauchecritic]

One of the drawbacks of being a Socialist

Maybe she's a little more working class after all. Father is a cop or something like that (working class but not factoy or general labor)

I'd really really like to know how you categorize class structure.

Is it just the income? Or maybe just how dirty you get your hands for pay?

I love political arguement.

I also love being

Gauche

 

[MathGirl]

I also love being
Gauche

And you're so very, very good at it, Gauchie.
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Put Padfoot baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!