Suggestions anyone?

[Silverlily]

My husband and I up to this point have clearly defined roles. He is dominant and I am not. I wouldn't say I'm completely submissive, I tend to be a little headstrong and defiant at times. But overall, it is easier for me to let go and drop my inhibitions when he is in charge.

Here's the thing. Last night, he told me rather than a 24/7 arrangement, he wants a 24/6. One night a week, preferably Sundays, he wants me to make the descisions. I love him very much and would really like to make this work, but I'm afraid I'm in over my head. I don't think it's possible for a submissive to learn to be dominant, but I'm hoping one can learn to act the part.

Any ideas, advice, or suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. So far the only thing I can think of is ice and a blindfold. Also, he is much more adventurous than I, so more than likely he will be up for anything I want.

Thanks =^..^=

 

[Strange Girl]

Have you ever tried doing it with boxing gloves on? It's a challenge, you know, not having the full use of your hands, forces you to be creative.

 

[Treat]

Kitten, I tend to be the same way similar in the situation. Me, i like for my woman to take charge and do what ever she wants to do or have me do what ever she desires. I get a charge out of it and she does too, but yet to this day we are still discovering ewach other. The only thing I can tell you is that when in that position of the one day of the week, do what YOU want. Think about it the day before, meditate on it, whatever. If he wants it then he is willing to accept whatever may come. Try things you have alweays wanted to try but he never has or you never have. Remember you are in control, so he will more than likely go along with it knowing that this is your night. Do not think of the obvious or what is commonly talked about.

My ex-wife and I tried one night, because we had no lube or anything, vegitable oil. Not only did it make the skin soft but was damn good. If you want the ice and blind fold do that. Add in some music so he cannot hear you, restrain him so he casnnot move, and again make sure he cannot see. When the usual sensesare blocked, the less thought about ones become hyper active and sensitive.

It is normal for us men to love the dominate role, but if women were to do the same or what their heart and body tells them, they would see that we (open minded men) can and will accept a submissive role as well.

If that doesn't work, try naked twister on a matt soaked in baby oil.

 

[Samuari]

Like Treat said, Just do what you want to do. Take him dress shopping, go to a gal movie, it does not have to be sexual, does it. Teach him how give you a pedicure. Where is Hecate when we need her?

[Edited by Samuari on 09-10-2000 at 02:55 AM]

 

[Silverlily]

Thank you everyone.

Treat - I love the idea of robbing him of his senses. (Who's Matt? Does he have his own Twister game? )

Samuari - Neither one of us likes gal movies, but maybe The Cell? You're absolutely right, it doesn't have to be sexual, I love the thought of an entire day spent cuddling.

Thanks again!

 

[KillerMuffin]

What do you like having done to you? Light bondage works wonders for giving you that in charge feeling, especially when you have no idea what to do. He can't do anything with his hands tied, unless you let him do it to you. Eventually you will learn what pleases you most.

The big thing here, I believe, is that you've spent all those years pleasing him. Doing what he likes. He wants to do things that please you without worrying about his own pleasure. Try simply concentrating on your own orgasms and completely ignore him for a while, not forever, obviously you want him to cum too. Get on top of him and make yourself cum, stuff like that. That might begin to shift the balance of power over to you, until you get more comfortable.

I don't know if you do it or not, but try initiating the sex instead of having him do it.

 

[Hecate]

Did I hear anyone asking for my presence??

Well - if you intend to take control for a little, I found the following things quite "useful". They are dealing with the erotic part of submission and from all I understand there is the "non" sex part involved just as well .... but I am sure you can manage to figure out some nice "starters" like ordering a table in a restaurant without asking him first and make him drive you there (tell him to open the door for you and take a seat in the back, let him be the Ladie's Chauffeur). Maybe you even take the liberty and order the meal for the BOTH of you! Don't worry, you know him well and he may be glad to ee you ae doing that for him so he doesn't have to make a choice himself *s* Choose the cloth you want him to wear (most likely he is asking you all the time anyway - can I wear this shirt with those pants darling?? Where are the matching socks?? etc. - so just lay out the things you like to see on him (including the undies *g*)

Now back to the erotic Dom. bit.... here a few general things (just copied them from my site I admit)

Get your sub to kneel in front of you
It is mostly underestimated what a simple symbolic gesture of kneeling at someone’s feet does to the self-perception of people.

Have your sub be nude while you are fully dressed
Another of our civilization laws that is easily converted into a intimidating situation without you putting too much effort into it (don’t you all remember those dreams where you found yourself nude amongst all others being dressed?)

Give commands
Strange enough specially for the first time the subs seem to have a tendency to not think you are really enjoying the game, but that you only do it for them – to please them. But usually this is vanishing as soon as you do give a few stern commands – and they do not at all have to do with sex… just make it clear that you are in control now.

Oral attention
Once you are getting to the sexual part of the game I have noticed that for most subs it seems to be just the special ”kick” to get in the mood to be dominated if commanded to perform oral attention to the Domme, preferably while kneeling at her feet. Seems to give just the right spark to make them feel low and serving.

OK, those above "tips" were sure not any manual but I hope they gave you the one or other "inspiration" for an enjoyable evening. Just start slow! Taking over the dominant part for a change sure doesn't mean to be armed with chains and whips - it is after all more a "mind thing", at least imho.

 

[Silverlily]

Wow, thank you both so much!

Actually, Killer, I am usually the initiator. Heck, I spend a lot of my time on the BB. By the time poor hubby gets home, I am dying!

Sunday should be fun, I promise details Monday morning.

 

[dancinvixen]

Kitten, my husband and I are in the same kind of relationship. What he means by you making decisions, is that he basically wants you to ask him, <or beg him> for what you want. SO think of all the things you want and just tell him <g>

 

[Samuari]

Kitten, my husband and I are in the same kind of relationship. What he means by you making decisions, is that he basically wants you to ask him, <or beg him> for what you want. SO think of all the things you want and just tell him <g>

God, where were you 30 years ago! I really want to turn you on! I want to know where you are at and what makes you horney, I am very flexable, but give great backrubs, ask nacked hunny!

 

[dancinvixen]

LOL Samurai. <g> Actually I wasn't even a twinkle in anybody's eye 30 years ago <g> teehee, and just about anything can turn me on <g> backrubs most especially since most people don't realize how sensitive my back really is <g>

 

[Samuari]

Come here kid, I'll show how experence overcomes youth!

 

[Silverlily]

Bad Samauri! (pelting him with pecans)

The least you could do is offer everyone backrubs.

 

[ShyGuy68]

offer everyone backrubs.

Kitten Eyes I love to give a woman backrubs, it's a pleasure when I'm making her feel good and relaxed!!

And the thought that it might turn into a full body massage is something that I don't mind either!!

 

[Strange Girl]

my nipples are getting hard.

 

[Silverlily]

Ha ha, mine too!

Ok, promised details, well a few anyway.

The day was nearly wrecked. My father-in-law showed up a 8:00 am with a list of a "few things" that "won't take long". Right, nine hours later, my husband finaly comes home. He has a bit of an attitude, he doesn't believe I can do this. (Hee hee, he doesn't know Mistress Hecate.)

Playtime was over. I ordered him (in a very stern voice) to disrobe and kneel, immediately. Before he had time to think, I blindfolded him and tied his hands behind his back. Oral appreciation of my magnificence then followed.

After the most wonderful hot oil massage (feet included) I rewarded him with his choice of role-play, suspicious character gets pulled over by the cops and searched. (Anymore details and I may end up divorced)

Suffice to say, he was very surprised. There will be many more Sundays to cum, I mean come.

You all are great, thank you again.

 

[Samuari]

Bad Samauri! (pelting him with pecans)

The least you could do is offer everyone backrubs.

Going Nuts? Cool! Come on over here, And we'll see what we can work out!

Just read about sunday. Good! now keep his father home!