Subs: a question?

[Cleopatra]

I'm curious.

I see a few of you say you were born submissive. Hard-wired, so to speak.

Does this mean that you think you have a predisposition to being submissive? To anyone? In all facets of your life?

Or is it more selective?

 

[A Desert Rose]

I am not submissive in my job (I'm a charge nurse and can't be.)

I am not submissive with my children.

I am not submissive with other women.

I am not submissive with non-dominant males.

But put me in the same room with an Dominant person and then, I become very submissive.

 

[Cleopatra]

But put me in the same room with an Dominant person and then, I become very submissive.

Any dominant, or just one in particular?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Any dominant, or just one in particular?

Any dominant male and thinking of Shadows or Ebony... some dominant females, too.

 

[Caitlynne]

I am not submissive in my job (I'm a charge nurse and can't be.)

I am not submissive with my children.

I am not submissive with other women.

I am not submissive with non-dominant males.

But put me in the same room with an Dominant person and then, I become very submissive.

This is a good description for me as well. I am an executive in my work (Finance), so I can't be submissive and I'm not. And I was not submissive to my child, or other women ever, nor non-dominant men.

As far as whether or not it is *any* Dominant..... well, it depends, I don't if I am collared. My focus and mindset are too foucsed on my Dominant. But the mind-set and focus is much different when I am single and uncollared.

So, when single and without that single-minded focus, I can feel myself 'go submissive' to varying degrees to ANY Dominant male. Now, I really mean varying degrees, and the longer I am around a Dominant male the level of submission inside of me may dissipate (because of the type of dominant I observe him to be or for a variety of reasons) or it may increase. It may never really even manifest in a way that is observable, but *inside*, inside of me, I can feel the shift in my mindset.

It happens internally first, and yes, I'd have to say that the internal part does happen with any Dominant, if I am uncollared. I can literally feel it. I sort of 'fall in line'. But I'm aware of how I am, what those feelings are, and I'm aware enough so I'm not falling to my knees for every guy who walks in the dungeon. You know what I mean. But the desire to submit, yes that is present in a lot of situations with a lot of different Dominants. Whether or not I act on that desire, allow myself to give that desire over, is another matter entirely, but it is there.

Of course the Dominants I am most strongly attracted to are the ones who can spot that "Internal shift" occurring in me, and can take the desire to submit in an act of will. Hard to resist that kind of awareness in a Dominant, very difficult indeed.

~ Cait

 

[Caitlynne]

Any dominant male and thinking of Shadows or Ebony... some dominant females, too.

Oh I agree!!!

Ebony did not take female submissives (and I still miss her terribly around Lit), but she was a force I could feel call to my submission.

Shadows, I hear the call to serve her--strongly. It's hard not to 'fall in line' just in a posted response to her. And my internal responses to all she has written over the past few years have taught me a lot about myself. (Thank you M'am)

Some Dom/mes just 'call' to me. I'll be honest, it is that call, that inspiration to 'serve' that gives me the most fulfillment in submission.

~ Cait

 

[kitty4ever]

Some Dom/mes just 'call' to me. I'll be honest, it is that call, that inspiration to 'serve' that gives me the most fulfillment in submission.

~ Cait

Exactly.

 

[bluntforcemama]

My submission (when I choose to be) is very selective. It is never with a woman. It is always with my male lover. It stays in the bedroom or play room. In all other areas of life, I'm a take-charge-and-kick-ass kind of person.

 

[Cleopatra]

Thank you ladies.

It's been enlightening.

 

[DustyWolfe]

hmmm... I wont say that I am completely submissive. In every day life I rule the roost. I make the rules, I set the pace for things, I decide when things get done. But that's largely due to my roommate not having a hell of a lot of life experience. It might be different in a diff situation.

I've yet to be submissive to a man. I've got strange attitudes towards men for some reason.

Submission to women? Hell yes, I think only a woman could totally drag me down into complete sub space.

My brain is hard wired to be submissive to other females. I don't know why, it just is. And there are so women that I've never even met, just interacted with in chat rooms and such that I know could get me into subspace fast. It's just based on personality with me.

 

[Xelebes]

Hrmmmm....

I'm kinda submissive though most of the time I desire to be alone. If forced to be with someone, er.... yeah kinda. Don't really know how to put it.

 

[AvaAdore]

But put me in the same room with an Dominant person and then, I become very submissive.

that sounds about right for me.

my submission is entirely sexual. though when i think about it, i am not so sure. it could be more than sexual... there are some people who just bring it out in me...not that i show anything. i feel submissive, but i dont act it since it would be inappropriate.

 

[graceanne]

I'm also not obviously a submissive person. If you told anyone around me they'd laugh. I don't take and crap from people around me or my kids.
But I do . . . notice dominant men. I don't know if I'd be submissive if they pushed it, 'cause I avoid men. Well except for my hubby.
I know that my hubby was the first person I ever dated (for more than a few weeks) who is a dom, and I've . . .. well let's just say he got me in bed pretty fast, considering. I have a lot of trouble saying no to him, always have.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

I'm not completely submissive in my daily life. In fact, in my daily life I am pretty much submissive to my dominant only. As a nurse in upper management, I approach the rest of the management team on a equal basis, even my boss, since we are very strongly focused on a team approach.

However, what I did notice when interacting with certain other dominants (I didhave the distinct pleasure of meeting Eb and Francisco last year), is that some dominants do engender a level of submission that is not as deep as the submission to my dominant, but that is indicative of the respect that I feel that they deserve based on the sum of my prior and current interactions with them. I hope that makes sense.

I've also interacted with dominants that I simply was polite to, that I felt no submission response whatsoever to. It just really depends on the person, and our history, and how we click personally.

Bottom line...just because you call yourself a dominant doesn't mean you'll get my submission. It doesn't work that way.

~anelize

 

[s'lara]

I'm curious.

I see a few of you say you were born submissive. Hard-wired, so to speak.

Does this mean that you think you have a predisposition to being submissive? To anyone? In all facets of your life?

Or is it more selective?

Think i've mentioned this elsewhere, but i struggle with the submissive response in situations which do not benefit from this inclination.

i think the predisposition to be submissive is an inherent trait in me, but i also possess other natural instincts that are not entirely submerged in my inability to be Dominant. Those instincts are to protect myself if i feel i am in danger (this does not always work well, but it does kick in), rise to a level of assertiveness in the workplace as that is my job and required of me, and last but not least, to have a little practical common sense. Despite the daily tug of war to overcome submissive tendencies, i know that allowing myself to be put into a position where i may be take advantage of is adverse to my "don't touch the hot stove" defense mechanism. Also, failure to heed these instincts can result in detrimental damage.

So, a conscious effort to keep oneself out of situations where one might encounter less than savory manipulation is a good start. The submissive nature, or more simply, the ability to sequester/manage/hide this part of ourselves may be accomplished with varying degrees of success. Where i may struggle, another may balance the submissive trait in their lives with ease and aplomb. Something to admire actually.

lara

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

Does this mean that you think you have a predisposition to being submissive? To anyone? In all facets of your life?

Or is it more selective?

I believe it is an innate trait.

I am also a nurse, and I work with incarcerated juveniles. I cannot be submissive -- a situation in which submissiveness would be inappropriate.

I am not submissive with my own children or the people in my immediate life.

Like Myst, it is never with women

Sometimes it comes down to the situation I'm in. I can be forceful if needed.

 

[yourstruly]

Like other posters, my submission is certainly limited in scope, but hard-wired.

In vanilla life, I can be extremely assertive. When someone escalates a conflict, I instinctively escalate in response. Also, I really enjoy the roles of teacher -- although I have done little professional work in that role -- and mentor. I would say that I have a mostly healthy and normal mix of dominant and submissive tendencies in my platonic relations.

However, I was definitely "born" with submissive tendencies, or at least developed them at a very early age. My first sexual dreams involved being locked in a cage! I couldn't have been older than 6.

I fell for my first girlfriend (at least that I remember), during a vacation to Hawaii, perhaps the age of 9. I remember rather clearly, wrestling this girl, loosing the battle (for real), and ending up pinned down by each arm and leg, staring up, immobilized, through the interior of an impressive cylinder of long, blonde hair, and suddenly, for reasons I didn't understand at the time, asking something completely out-of-character for me: "You like me don't you?" She answered, "Yes".