Submission as Redemption (outline)

[MindShy]

Yep, it's my first post (though I have been lurking here for longer) and I'm already asking for something.

I have this story idea that I really would like to read, but I was not able to find anything like it. Considering the content I'm pretty sure I could not write it very well on my own. (Lack of experience in writing and in RL. )

Therefore I would bew thrilled if someone was interested in writing a (longer) story based on this scenario. You could do it all alone, or it could be more of a collaborative effort.

The premise:

The main character is a young woman that does something terrible to another person. I'm not sure yet what it is, but she does it for a selfish reason (and possibly out of desperation), not out of hate. As a result it ruines that other persons life to a degree (loosing their job, reputation, friends... something like that). The women is plagued by terrible guilt for weeks, and finally decides she has to make amends for it.

She visits the person she hurt and beggs for a way to pay for her misdeed. Since what she did was not illegal (or only a minor crime), can not be undone, and she has no vast amounts of money, they finally agree for her to be available to that person for a year (in her free time) to provide any services she can in any way requested, including any kind of sex.

The rules are:
- Nothing that does lasting damage to her body, physical health or financial situation.
- It stays a secret from everyone in her private and professional life.
- She get's the time off she needs to keep her job and not make anyone suspecious, but not any for her own enjoyment.
- After a year her sin is considered forgiven and they will part ways.

The main character should be a twenty-something straight women with good education, very good looking (but not like a model or porn-star), single. She has a cheery, slightly naive personality, but is also very ambitious. Her sex-life is pretty vanilla and she has a somewhat limited fantasy regarding sex. She could even be a virgin, in any case she has very little knowledge about anything not covered in a biology text book and softcore porn. The story is mainly told from her perspective. We may occasionally switch perspective, but in general we know what she knows and feels, but not more. This is why the writer should have some confidence in writing beliveable from a female POV (or just be female). I'm not sure if first or third person would be better though, it's up to you.

The other person could be either a straight (or bi) male OR a gay (or bi) female if you find that more interesting. It would introduce some additional humiliation (forcing a straight women to have lesbian sex), but also limit the sex scenarios somewhat in my opinion (I don't really like dildos as penis-replacements). This person may have had a (more or less obvious) crush on the main character, but she clearly would not have been interested. He/She is average to moderatively good looking, only a few years older, and also single (again). He/She is usually very calm, possibly somewhat shy, but also very intelligent and with a some strong moral views. He/She also has a mostly vanilla (and not very active) sex life, but some interest in BDSM and roleplay.

Both characters should stay at least somewhat sympathetic throughout the story, even if what they do isn't very nice. The idea here is that the wronged person is more disgusted with the main character than he/she is angry with her. (If he/she had a crush on her they may also be just very disappointed that she couldn't live up to their ideal version of her.) He/She has little interest in an apology and our protagonist actually has to beg for a way to make up for what she did.

Instead of just flat out making her a sex-slave or something like that, I would prefere for her to do only menial jobs at first, like cleaning and shopping, without any humiliation or abuse at all. Doing that for a month or two should make her really anxious since they explicitly included sex and physical punishment as allowed in their agreement. (She may also be somewhat frustrated because it doesn't feel like redemption or punishment to her.)

Then things slowly get more and more humiliating in ways she did not imagine, like her not being allowed to speak until spoken to, wearing really revealing clothes (even when shopping), and eventually including sex in various ways (that are new to her), bondage, some painful punishments, sleeping in the nude chained to her masters/mistress bed, and so on. ITS VERY IMPORTANT THAT SHE DOES NOT ENJOY IT, at least most of the time. Remember that she is (initially) not attracted to the other person and relatively prude (think "good people have good sex"). She is NOT into pain, she doesn't like giving blowjobs, she hates having cum on OR in her, finds being fucked in the ass degrading, and she definetly doesn't like being restrained or not in control. She will cry at times, but even when offered a way out she will beg for more because she KNOWS she desrves it!

The whole thing could end with them falling in love and living a mostly normal live, or with their arrangement becoming permanent (with possibly some more freedom for her) because they BOTH like it now, or with her breaking completely. In that case the arrangement either has to end prematurely, or (if her master/mistress became too compfortable in his/her role) her becoming a full-time, no-will-of-her-own slave for life because she isn't able to care for herself anymore.

 

[LWulf]

First, I'll share my thoughts on the likelihood of this story being written by someone else and why: I think it is unlikely because it sounds lengthy. A year's worth of details compressed in a story is difficult. Most writers here want to restrict their story to, at most, 1 page of text (1 page on Literotica = 9 MS Word pages of text). Personally, I think they think: the less, the better.

To give an honest effort in composing that much thought into a story would mean several chapters. I just don't think any writer will be willing to commit to that much effort for someone else (without getting paid that is).

Now to not totally poo-poo on the idea; what IS possible, is that a writer writes one chapter of that year. Believably, I think you could compress about a month's worth of highlighted details in one chapter (about 1-3 Lit pages).

Now, my thoughts on the storyline:
I don't like it that she is virgin. Giving up your virginity to someone you are not head over heals in love with, or at least mildly infatuated with, to me, is a crime, let alone giving her virginity up to a guy she just feels guilty because of some misdeed. She is already giving up a year of her free time to him already, to add her virginity in the deal is too much. Let her ass be virgin territory and that is more passably a deal to me.

I'll also quibble about the "good looking but not a porn star" thought. Porn stars are very much the 'plain Jane' type. Professional makeup artists can do wonders, but I get what you mean. You want her to be wholesome/girl-next-door good looks.

A year in servitude without any "me time", where all her waking time is either working or with this guy paying off her debt to him, is a bit much. It's something that stretches my mind a bit. I'd think she was bouncing off the walls crazy without some me-time/down-time which leads to my thoughts on realism.

On realism: Someone in another thread said something to the effect that "a story here can be utter fantasy breaking whatever real-life rules you want." and this is true, but the stories that are most appreciated seem the most plausible. There is always going to be one aspect of a story that is fantasy based, but if that aspect is that you meet up with a hollyweird movie star and how you get down and knock boots with them OR that you get this amazing DeLorien car that can travel backwards/forwards in time, is up to you. To me, the former is vaguely probable (though highly unlikely), whereas the latter is utter fantasy.

So in other words, the less you have to rationalize the plot to a reader, the more they are going to like it. Unless you are trying to completely blow their mind on "the unreal." If that's your intent, then by all means, bring on the elves and start bringing the dead back to life.

Your story seems like it is very much "realistic" so, to me, the less "unreal world" values brought into the story, the better.

On character development: I kind of like the idea that the person she owes this favor to is a guy. NOT because I am heterosexual and that's my preferred flavor of the day, but because it adds levels to her servitude.
She thought she was going to get off easy just giving it up to this guy for a year, but then in month two (whenever), she finds out he wants to watch her bump uglies with a lesbian friend of his.
Month three, he brings in his Wednesday night poker friends and lets them all poke-her her every which way they can.
Month four can be sadomasochism...
Etc.
The point is, she finds out in stages how much can be asked of her which she might not have completely anticipated. This is partly what you alluded to in your concept.

I like that while this is a permissible revenge, you don't want to make it a "hate" issue.

On female collaboration: I likewise feel the same about collaborating or having the whole thing by a female writer.
While I think I can passably write from a female POV, I always feel like I can get it 98% close, but there is always that 2% that only a real woman can say is a sausage-fest-of-fantasy or is completely the POV of a woman. I obsess over little details and have gone so far as asking to collaborate with a female writer on some story, NOT for the sexual parts of the story, but for all the little female decision details that only a real-life born-female woman can say is 100% realistic. (It doesn't matter. They still think you just want to cyber with them! )
I mean, seriously, I think with man thoughts about what a woman will wear that makes her feel sexy, but it took a real-life woman to say that there are variable colors of clothing that make her feel what-type-of-sexy, she feels like. Something that, to me (thinking man-thoughts) "what does it matter what the fuck color lingerie she wears? Isn't black universally sexual lingerie???" (Cue sad trombone)
Ultimately, I believe, a straight woman can write a story about gay men because when it comes down to it, relationships other than our preferred choice, is just that, a relationship; we all want the same things and the "others" aren't aliens from another planet (though then again there are people like Sean and Hypoxia (sorry, just had to add that )), but there are still little details that only a gay guy will know, that a straight woman would not, and therefore, only by collaborating with or having something solely written by, a person from that perspective will a story be able to truer to life.

For the end: I definitely see them possibly falling in love at the end of this year... but was that her goal all along? (Even if it was, I still think her being virgin is a bad idea). Virginity isn't a sufferance. Realistic world values, if a realistic guy suddenly found out a woman was virginal, I think he would re-evaluate the whole one year contract as being fulfilled the moment he found out she was a virgin. To me, if I was this guy she made the contract with, I would be thinking her goal all along was a LTR.
It makes for a better story if his petty revenges are disbursed in stages too, and at the end of the year, he has fallen in love with this woman who ruined his life.

You might want to consider writing it yourself though. This way, if it was broken up by chapters by different writers, you might get different styles that contrast or possibly conflict with each other. If you alone write it, then it has the best potential to be appreciated by any reader.
We all started this way...

Changed "suddenly virginal" to "suddenly found out... virginal"

 

[StrayKat]

I don't like it that she is virgin. Giving up your virginity to someone you are not head over heals in love with, or at least mildly infatuated with, to me, is a crime, let alone giving her virginity up to a guy she just feels guilty because of some misdeed. She is already giving up a year of her free time to him already, to add her virginity in the deal is too much. Let her ass be virgin territory and that is more passably a deal to me.

So vaginal virginity is a big deal and anal is not?

 

[LWulf]

So vaginal virginity is a big deal and anal is not?

harrumph.

No, I didn't say that. Since the OP seemed to want to say the character was virginal, I thought it would be less 'traumatic' to believe that the female character was anally virginal than completely virginal.

It means something that she gives up her anal virginity to this guy she owes, but to have a never touched by another man virgin all for the sake of paying off a debt? If I have to explain that concept then maybe I am talking to the wrong person.

It goes to credibility. Would a virgin give up all her virginities to a guy she only owes a debt to? I don't think so.

What about her 'sapphic' virginity? Isn't that a big deal too?
What about her 'bdsm' virginity? Isn't that a big deal too?
You can go on and on with all of that sort of reasoning

 

[StrayKat]

harrumph.

No, I didn't say that. Since the OP seemed to want to say the character was virginal, I thought it would be less 'traumatic' to believe that the female character was anally virginal than completely virginal.

It means something that she gives up her anal virginity to this guy she owes, but to have a never touched by another man virgin all for the sake of paying off a debt? If I have to explain that concept then maybe I am talking to the wrong person.

It goes to credibility. Would a virgin give up all her virginities to a guy she only owes a debt to? I don't think so.

What about her 'sapphic' virginity? Isn't that a big deal too?
What about her 'bdsm' virginity? Isn't that a big deal too?
You can go on and on with all of that sort of reasoning

Or you can say that losing any kind of "virginity" can be a traumatic experience if you do it with wrong person.
What is so special about vaginal one apart from the fact that men for centuries thought that piece of skin more valuable than the whole person it was attached to?

 

[LWulf]

Or you can say that losing any kind of "virginity" can be a traumatic experience if you do it with wrong person.
What is so special about vaginal one apart from the fact that men for centuries thought that piece of skin more valuable than the whole person it was attached to?

Look, it's the OP's story. I don't want to get into a dissertation on the value systems that herald various virginities.

My reason for saying she wasn't vaginally virginal goes to mental outlook of the female character. A 100% virgin doesn't have a clue what giving up her virginity means. A 100% not-a-virgin, isn't "giving up" anything at all.

I thought an anal virgin was a happy middle ground to suggest.

 

[StrayKat]

So you think a female character values her vaginal virginity above all. A bit funny since you are, I assume, a male irl and I am female.
I think it all very much depends on person in question.

Personally I never thought my virginity of any kind a big deal, but I never "gave" any of it to unworthy person either.

 

[HeyAll]

Sounds interesting.

Personally, I think it works best as a Lesbian story, with heavy bdsm and dom/sub elements to it.

 

[LWulf]

So you think a female character values her vaginal virginity above all. A bit funny since you are, I assume, a male irl and I am female.
I think it all very much depends on person in question.

Personally I never thought my virginity of any kind a big deal, but I never "gave" any of it to unworthy person either.

You might note I started out saying in my first comment:

...There is always going to be one aspect of a story that is fantasy based...

For guys, this usually (stereotypically) means that the woman is in some way shape or form, virginal. Otherwise, it's just business as usual.

Me; personally? I don't want someone who is virginal in any way shape or form, but I'm not the OP and I am just giving my thoughts on what would make a realistic story seem more realistic.

Would a 100% virgin offer up her body to be used in EVERY way shape (for a year, no yet) and to someone she had no special feelings for?

I. Think. Not.

****​

Allow me to voice this is a perfect reason to express why a male writer can't say how a woman thinks and only a female writer can twist (a story element of) a fantasy story, into a more realistic story (ie give reasons why a story element would be rationalized as realistic to a woman).

 

[HeyAll]

Another hot aspect could be that the lead character was raised with a strict religious background. That's why she feels so guilty, and wants to fix her sin.

It could be an office scenario. The lead woman cheats another woman to get the promotion. Maybe she told the boss a secret about someone else, in order for her to get the promotion.

 

[NiceNastyMann]

I think it's workable

It's not a single story of course - but you do have the major arc figured out - the tension between the characters - and the rationale for the story to occur.

I think having them both be female makes the arc better, and adds the other bit of dynamic tension as they start to fall for each other emotionally.

 

[StrayKat]

You might note I started out saying in my first comment:

For guys, this usually (stereotypically) means that the woman is in some way shape or form, virginal. Otherwise, it's just business as usual.

Me; personally? I don't want someone who is virginal in any way shape or form, but I'm not the OP and I am just giving my thoughts on what would make a realistic story seem more realistic.

Would a 100% virgin offer up her body to be used in EVERY way shape (for a year, no yet) and to someone she had no special feelings for?

I. Think. Not.

****​

Allow me to voice this is a perfect reason to express why a male writer can't say how a woman thinks and only a female writer can twist (a story element of) a fantasy story, into a more realistic story (ie give reasons why a story element would be rationalized as realistic to a woman).

Just dont let your desire to be realistic lead you to cliches.
It is all so very individual.

I would bet there is at least one, technically, virgin, who dreams about giving herself to someone who has no feelings for her. People have different kinks and they are all real.

If it makes you feel better, I dont have a damn clue how 99% women I know think, they are practically aliens to me. So if I wrote a story from my reality you might find it completely unrealistic. It would still be real, *for me*.

 

[MindShy]

Okay, first: Thanks for anwsering at all, and in that detail. Wasn't sure somebody would.

First, I'll share my thoughts on the likelihood of this story being written by someone else and why: I think it is unlikely because it sounds lengthy. A year's worth of details compressed in a story is difficult. Most writers here want to restrict their story to, at most, 1 page of text (1 page on Literotica = 9 MS Word pages of text). Personally, I think they think: the less, the better.

Okay, point taken. It could less time, and/or by multiple authors.

I don't like it that she is virgin. Giving up your virginity to someone you are not head over heals in love with, or at least mildly infatuated with, to me, is a crime,

Technically not, but I get that. The virginity was an afterthought, I just don't want her tobe too experienced.

The point is, she finds out in stages how much can be asked of her which she might not have completely anticipated. This is partly what you alluded to in your concept.

Yes very much. If you just go into overdrive from the beginning you have a big shock once, then nothing. That way you have slow build-up.

but there are still little details that only a gay guy will know, that a straight woman would not, and therefore, only by collaborating with or having something solely written by, a person from that perspective will a story be able to truer to life.

I have no idea what the gender ratio on this site is, so I would already be happy to find someine who can writer better female POV than me (which is likely terrible), but a women would be awesome.

It makes for a better story if his petty revenges are disbursed in stages too, and at the end of the year, he has fallen in love with this woman who ruined his life.

I'm always bounce back and forth about that. Sometimes I'm in a dark mood and think it could all go wrong, sometimes I think It could be so sweet if something good came from something bad. That's why I wrote all posibilites down

If you alone write it, then it has the best potential to be appreciated by any reader.
We all started this way...

To be frank, in addition to not having all that much writing experience, I just can't write sex scenes. Dialouge I could probably.

 

[MindShy]

Another hot aspect could be that the lead character was raised with a strict religious background. That's why she feels so guilty, and wants to fix her sin.

Oh, great idea. Would also explain why she is somewhat prudish.

It could be an office scenario. The lead woman cheats another woman to get the promotion. Maybe she told the boss a secret about someone else, in order for her to get the promotion.

I thought about that too. If the other person was male I thought it could be a false rape allegation, and if it's a female it could be outing her... except I don't think that would ruin anybodies life these days.

 

[MindShy]

Now to not totally poo-poo on the idea; what IS possible, is that a writer writes one chapter of that year. Believably, I think you could compress about a month's worth of highlighted details in one chapter (about 1-3 Lit pages).

Is there a way to edit a story collaboratively on literotica, and not just chaining chapters of different writers? I know there is google docs, but I think using that would require using my RL name.

 

[Gaslamp_Society]

I knew a guy that was pulled over by cops...not licensed to drive. He said he said he was my sister's husband and I guess that was good enough for the police. My sister's husband didn't find out about it until notified by mail that he missed his court date. Let's just say that ended a friendship.

Perhaps for your character, it could be a scenario like that? Somehow falsely uses her friend's name...OR...made friend co-signer on a car or home loan and failed to pay, making friend responsible.

 

[MindShy]

Okay, I think I'll try to write at least one chapter, but before that I have to decide what gender the other person has, and how he/she was wronged.

As has been pointed out, even if the person is male, they could bring in other women to have sex with our character, and there reverse is also true. I currently lean towards a bi-sexual women that also likes watching her being taken by other guys.

Let's say the main characters name is Josephine "Jo" Summers (I hope there is no famous person with that name.)

Her colleague could have a one-sided attraction to her, but competing for the same position. To get the desired position Jo accuses her of... well something that's ending her career and/or social life. Should be somewhat drastic, not just a mild inconvenience or scandal.

 

[LWulf]

Is there a way to edit a story collaboratively on literotica, and not just chaining chapters of different writers? I know there is google docs, but I think using that would require using my RL name.

I wish I could tell you. Honestly, I don't have a clue about chain stories.

To my imagination, and that is saying a lot, you don't want to do too much of one person having a say so on what goes on in another's writing (besides an editor). It would never get finished. Everybody agrees to work to a pre-established outline and not make any deviation without discussing it with the group, is how I imagine it works.

As far as "how they were wronged," I am still thinking about that. It can't be too lame or it won't seem realistic. Yet it has to be significant enough to warrant one year of servitude.

You might want to start out really slowly for the first month, for instance, having Josephine Summers cleaning the house and such. Nothing too easy, and when she is done, the person she is doing it for says "do it again," or the like.

 

[lovecraft68]

Couple of thoughts. One I applaud you for not going the outright sex slave route of her going through body modifications and gang rapes and the other timeless tropes of certain categories here.

Second I agree with Lwulf about the virgin part. It makes the rest of the story seem unrealistic. She does not have to be overly experienced, but enough so that she has some idea of what she is doing and what she is setting herself up for.

Her losing her virginity like that is a turn off to me and sort of kills the rest of the premise. Maybe because its reminiscent of that 50 shades garbage.

 

[MindShy]

Couple of thoughts. One I applaud you for not going the outright sex slave route of her going through body modifications and gang rapes and the other timeless tropes of certain categories here.

I don't find bodily harm very erotic, it's more about mind games. Gang rape though...

I'm not sure yet how dark it should become. I think there should be a point towards the middle where Jo is about to end the whole thing prematurely (I guess they'll have a safeword), but then doesn't. (At that point it's no longer just about guilt but also pride.) The thing that pushes her that far could be for her mistress to invite other "guests" and watch as they have their (rough) way with her.

That's pretty close to gang-rape. Would this still be erotic, considering that she CAN end it, but doesn't? Or will the reader loose sympathy for the mistress?

 

[BlondieSinner29]

It's an interesting story. I think it would be more interesting if both the main characters were a female. For instance, the person, she owes the debt to was jailed for a month, for the wrong reasons, and the husband finds out and calls the woman up, with a list
of demands in order to pay back his wife, but she can't... like maybe she borrowed some money, from her and never paid it back, and as a result for some reason, the wifes in jail, but the charges get dropped. And now she's in debt.

get it? Make it different. Add some spice to it.

And then the fun begins. The wife converses with the husband, on whats expected of this
woman, until she gets out a week later.

Maybe something like that might help. But I agree don't make her a virgin. Just make her original.

Maybe she's kindof a flaky, a wannabe, spoild brat, with a strange hair color, and some tattoes, and she's kindof young and naive to the world. But very inexperinced in the bedroom. Maybe one to three sexual partners.

And maybe the wife is more modern, maybe blonde, or brunette, with natural features. Business attire or something like that... with no tattoes. And very sexually experinced.

The male, kindof tall, muscular, motivated, arrogant, dark hair, maybe a well trimmed goatee, and dark colored clothing. Maybe one or two tattoes on him as well...

Good luck!

 

[LWulf]

I'd steer clear of plots involving debt. Just IMVHO.

Its a very tricky thing to come up with a motivator for a years worth of revenge (or whatever length it was briefly discussed to be reduced to).

 

[MindShy]

I'd steer clear of plots involving debt. Just IMVHO.

Its a very tricky thing to come up with a motivator for a years worth of revenge (or whatever length it was briefly discussed to be reduced to).

You mean debt as in money? Or any kind? And just because it's tricky?

I think a solution could be that her action do considerably more harm than she anticipated. That way she still has our sympathy while feeling very guilty herself.

For example: They are colleagues competing for the same promotion. When it looks like she's loosing, she uses personal information about the other woman against her, like knowledge about an affair with the bosse's wife. What she doesn't anticipate is the overreaction of their vengeful boss, who does the actual damage.

 

[bi_sub_lady_doc]

Yep, it's my first post (though I have been lurking here for longer) and I'm already asking for something.

I have this story idea that I really would like to read, but I was not able to find anything like it. Considering the content I'm pretty sure I could not write it very well on my own. (Lack of experience in writing and in RL. )

Therefore I would bew thrilled if someone was interested in writing a (longer) story based on this scenario. You could do it all alone, or it could be more of a collaborative effort.

The premise:

The main character is a young woman that does something terrible to another person. I'm not sure yet what it is, but she does it for a selfish reason (and possibly out of desperation), not out of hate. As a result it ruines that other persons life to a degree (loosing their job, reputation, friends... something like that). The women is plagued by terrible guilt for weeks, and finally decides she has to make amends for it.

She visits the person she hurt and beggs for a way to pay for her misdeed. Since what she did was not illegal (or only a minor crime), can not be undone, and she has no vast amounts of money, they finally agree for her to be available to that person for a year (in her free time) to provide any services she can in any way requested, including any kind of sex.

The rules are:
- Nothing that does lasting damage to her body, physical health or financial situation.
- It stays a secret from everyone in her private and professional life.
- She get's the time off she needs to keep her job and not make anyone suspecious, but not any for her own enjoyment.
- After a year her sin is considered forgiven and they will part ways.

The main character should be a twenty-something straight women with good education, very good looking (but not like a model or porn-star), single. She has a cheery, slightly naive personality, but is also very ambitious. Her sex-life is pretty vanilla and she has a somewhat limited fantasy regarding sex. She could even be a virgin, in any case she has very little knowledge about anything not covered in a biology text book and softcore porn. The story is mainly told from her perspective. We may occasionally switch perspective, but in general we know what she knows and feels, but not more. This is why the writer should have some confidence in writing beliveable from a female POV (or just be female). I'm not sure if first or third person would be better though, it's up to you.

The other person could be either a straight (or bi) male OR a gay (or bi) female if you find that more interesting. It would introduce some additional humiliation (forcing a straight women to have lesbian sex), but also limit the sex scenarios somewhat in my opinion (I don't really like dildos as penis-replacements). This person may have had a (more or less obvious) crush on the main character, but she clearly would not have been interested. He/She is average to moderatively good looking, only a few years older, and also single (again). He/She is usually very calm, possibly somewhat shy, but also very intelligent and with a some strong moral views. He/She also has a mostly vanilla (and not very active) sex life, but some interest in BDSM and roleplay.

Both characters should stay at least somewhat sympathetic throughout the story, even if what they do isn't very nice. The idea here is that the wronged person is more disgusted with the main character than he/she is angry with her. (If he/she had a crush on her they may also be just very disappointed that she couldn't live up to their ideal version of her.) He/She has little interest in an apology and our protagonist actually has to beg for a way to make up for what she did.

Instead of just flat out making her a sex-slave or something like that, I would prefere for her to do only menial jobs at first, like cleaning and shopping, without any humiliation or abuse at all. Doing that for a month or two should make her really anxious since they explicitly included sex and physical punishment as allowed in their agreement. (She may also be somewhat frustrated because it doesn't feel like redemption or punishment to her.)

Then things slowly get more and more humiliating in ways she did not imagine, like her not being allowed to speak until spoken to, wearing really revealing clothes (even when shopping), and eventually including sex in various ways (that are new to her), bondage, some painful punishments, sleeping in the nude chained to her masters/mistress bed, and so on. ITS VERY IMPORTANT THAT SHE DOES NOT ENJOY IT, at least most of the time. Remember that she is (initially) not attracted to the other person and relatively prude (think "good people have good sex"). She is NOT into pain, she doesn't like giving blowjobs, she hates having cum on OR in her, finds being fucked in the ass degrading, and she definetly doesn't like being restrained or not in control. She will cry at times, but even when offered a way out she will beg for more because she KNOWS she desrves it!

The whole thing could end with them falling in love and living a mostly normal live, or with their arrangement becoming permanent (with possibly some more freedom for her) because they BOTH like it now, or with her breaking completely. In that case the arrangement either has to end prematurely, or (if her master/mistress became too compfortable in his/her role) her becoming a full-time, no-will-of-her-own slave for life because she isn't able to care for herself anymore.

there are much similarities between your idea & my fetish .even your character(that of the submissive woman) resembles me.the only differences are that i dont want to submit on my will & my fantasy involves women only.you should check my idea & profile if you are an author.i have the plots on my theme.pm me if you are interested
regards

 

[LWulf]

You mean debt as in money? Or any kind? And just because it's tricky?

I think a solution could be that her action do considerably more harm than she anticipated. That way she still has our sympathy while feeling very guilty herself.

For example: They are colleagues competing for the same promotion. When it looks like she's loosing, she uses personal information about the other woman against her, like knowledge about an affair with the bosse's wife. What she doesn't anticipate is the overreaction of their vengeful boss, who does the actual damage.

of any kind. With the way the world seems to be turning, I'd imagine that debt is one thing people will be trying to avoid being reminded of. As a resource for ...ahem... recreation, reading a story that reminded the reader of debt might be a death knell for continued reading.

Again, just my opinion.

Making the other person lose their job is a good start. I'd think that you'd need to up the ante a bit though. Make it a little more vicious. Like saying that (...this main character's name is Jo? I'm losing track with all the stories I'm helping with lately) Jo overheard that the victim was using her sleeping with the boss to climb the corporate ladder with the intent to become vice pres. Then, she would address the Board of Directors and mention that the president of the company had slept with her, which, if it got out, then there would be scandal he would get fired, and the company would be in ruin. OR the Board could fire him now and put HER in position to be president of the company.

Basically, a coup d'etat. The point being though, while the other person slept with the president of the company, all the rest is just corporate backstabbing or in other words Jo's bullshitting to get the promotion over the victim. The problem is it not only gets the victim fired, it ends her career.

NOW Jo is legitimate to feel guilty about something. Compounded by the fact that she sees the victim every day when she goes to work; selling hotdogs or some other demeaning job, reminding Jo of her guilt. Compounded by the fact that she finds out about the victims job by getting a hotdog and finding out the victim doesn't is clueless why her interview for promotion suddenly turned into her getting fired.

Oh! wait, the victim might try to get revenge instead by telling the president of the company, but that wouldn't get her job back and it would only serve to getting Jo fired, but Jo already bankrolled her position to land another job equivalent at another company. Making revenge impossible when the victim found out! NOW Jo can stew in her guilt.