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Sub but not sure what I want

LynnEMorris said:
I'm looking for a man, but I'm not sure just how much I'm looking for.
Click to expand...

FINDING OUR BALANCE: Looks like you are at the very beginning of the journey. I have had many escapades in my time and dated far too many potential lovers with sparing little results. The majority unfortunately coming with a lot of baggage and which naturally always appeared way after having invested a lot of my time, emotion and effort into the relationship.

There really is no quick answer to the subject matter and your question. The way I first started is to identify and list my primary ’D/s fetishes’ and those that were dear to my heart. Most importantly those that I thought would stay to be my triggers over the long run. And allowing those to be my guidance and qualification baseline in all of my conversations and Q&A matters.

I am now in my late forties and even having come close several times towards a permanent hitch, I am still single. Not exactly a success story to be sure, and perhaps I was a bit blind and reckless at times too. But be aware that ones requirements, tastes and triggers will change over time. Relationships and priorities becoming more difficult to manage and as ones lifestyle and expectations change. Or for me as I grow older perhaps a bit wiser. The other item that has helped me along a great deal is associating with a bevy of likeminded girlfriends, including a few much more D/s mature than I am and this making a big difference sharing our ups and downs. Not an easy road to travel alone, and coming to realize that the road traveled by us is dark, mostly lonely and lit only at intervals by men and sometimes, they are not necessarily your friends. Best...lilly!

The attached picture is from a ''Happy Time '' in Abu Dhabi and my expat weekend with a new lover was about to unfold. The picture promises to hang in my mind for a long time. It will find its way into my long-term dreams and into my fantasies. It is no doubt one of me most favourite personal pictures and of a special time with Bernard.

https://i.ibb.co/JN7v7m5/Available.jpg
 
Last edited:
I would think a good way to figure out what you want is to explore this cite and see what turns you on and what does not. Are any of the fantasies described by women (and men) exciting to you. And, hopefully, you can find a partner eager to explore as well. It took me awhile to figure out some of my kinks. Be patient. Your own path will be a unique one.
 
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