Style War! He said, she said (writerly)

[driphoney]

Okay, so I still can't figure out how to use the search to find old threads that might contain what I'm looking for. If I'm beating a flattened dead horse to dust, forgive me. Just remember that my Lit World was birthed last fall.

He said, she said. He replied, she asked. He answered, she smirked.

What is your opinion on dialogue whatchjiggies? (Yeah, you're talking to the clueless here!) I've read and have been edited different opinions, so I want yours.

Is 'said', 'replied', 'asked' and any other basics I've forgotten, too mundane? Should they be mixed up constantly, or is their use like good punctuation, a frame for good dialogue and too many descriptive quotation verbs prove a distraction?

 

[TheeGoatPig]

If there are only two people in the conversation I would tend to avoid them when possible.

"Person one," said.
"Person two."
"Person one."
"Person two."
Paragraph of introspection or action by either or possibly both characters.
"Person two," said.
"Person one."

However, if there are three or more people, I don't care how monotonous it gets, Cathy said this, Bill replied that, Jamie reflected to herself, Steve proclaimed, and Harry resoundingly defied everyone of them.

 

[sr71plt]

Mixed up, left out when it's clear who is speaking--but provide when there's any chance it isn't clear.

 

[R. Richard]

Especially if there are three of more people, the writer needs to take pains to make sure the reader is sure as to who is speaking. Better to use a bit of overkill, rather than leave any doubt at all. Remeber, as you're writing a piece, you know who's talioking, the reader might not.

 

[Dragonlipz]

I consulted my muse (the buxom, blonde, bikini barista) who recommends leaving no doubt as to who is speaking or otherwise expressing themselves. (She prefers body language which leaves little doubt and less to the imagination - although when I'm with her, my imagination is a wild-eyed banshee! Howling at the moon! - Love them polka dots!)

 

[driphoney]

You all are very clear. I was not.

Do you feel it's redundant to contstantly re-use 'said', 'asked', and 'replied' and the other few basics? There are those who feel these few little words get worn out and there is a need to use more colorful verbage to describe the dialogue.

she announced
he proclaimed
Becky suggested
Roy exclaimed
Phil piped up
John volunteered
Rachel huffed
she responded
Kevin quiried
Aaron greeted

Is it important to constantly change it up, or can that be a distraction in itself? I'm developing an opinion on this, but wonder what others think.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You all are very clear. I was not.

Do you feel it's redundant to contstantly re-use 'said', 'asked', and 'replied' and the other few basics? There are those who feel these few little words get worn out and there is a need to use more colorful verbage to describe the dialogue.

she announced
he proclaimed
Becky suggested
Roy exclaimed
Phil piped up
John volunteered
Rachel huffed
she responded
Kevin quiried
Aaron greeted

Is it important to constantly change it up, or can that be a distraction in itself? I'm developing an opinion on this, but wonder what others think.

I find them very very distracting... I really don't like them.

 

[sr71plt]

You all are very clear. I was not.

Do you feel it's redundant to contstantly re-use 'said', 'asked', and 'replied' and the other few basics? There are those who feel these few little words get worn out and there is a need to use more colorful verbage to describe the dialogue.

she announced
he proclaimed
Becky suggested
Roy exclaimed
Phil piped up
John volunteered
Rachel huffed
she responded
Kevin quiried
Aaron greeted

Is it important to constantly change it up, or can that be a distraction in itself? I'm developing an opinion on this, but wonder what others think.

Although most of these seem like good slugs, some of them might be taken as too strong in context at a point where you want to provide direction as unobtrusively as possible (which, even though they are used a lot, the customary words do--the reader's eye flows right through them while picking up their meaning). But, yeah, except for the two mentioned below, these are pretty good ones to use.

Two of these will almost certainly make a reader stop (which you rarely want the reader to do at a point where you haven't built in a dramatic stop) and wonder if they can be used as a voiced slug at all--"huffed" and "greeted." I'd avoid those two.

 

[Belegon]

Don't be afraid to use them, but don't feel it is necessary to rely on them either.

Personally, I do try to vary my dialogue tags, but I also find that the more I write, the less use I have for them at all. I certainly don't focus on it anymore.

 

[Dragonlipz]

For me (and the bikini barista)

the question and answer, the yin and the yang, concerning the use of 'dialogue descriptors' is: does it add to the telling of the story? Is is an enhancement or a distraction? I use them but not always and not consistently......but that's just me. The bikini barista has just made a comment by giving me a knowing glance....

 

[oggbashan]

Try to avoid conversations with more than two speakers.

It is difficult, but possible, to write to distinguish between three or more speakers but it is difficult to make it comprehensible to a reader unless you use a playscript format:

Giles "Why should I agree to that?"

Helen "...because you might learn something..."

Tricia "No he won't. He's got a closed mind."

Jane "I agree. He never listens to anything I say."

Giles "That's not true."

Jane/Tricia together "What's not true?"and so on.

Og

 

[DeeZire]

Post #6 of this QnD Flashfic thread is a 500 word story made up almost entirely of dialogue. As I recall, each line is accompanied by a different dialogue slug.

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=606453

 

[sr71plt]

I will say (from profesisonal editing observation) that the trend is going too far in doing away with them altogether. In recent years, I've encountered an increasing number of instances where, in editing, I lost all track of who was speaking because of the failure to make this clear with slugs or other identification through description of action.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I will say (from profesisonal editing observation) that the trend is going too far in doing away with them altogether. In recent years, I've encountered an increasing number of instances where, in editing, I lost all track of who was speaking because of the failure to make this clear with slugs or other identification through description of action.

Yeah, I've had that same experience!

I meant to make my post a little more nuanced, though. Out of that list, there were a few I might use. I know I've used "announced" as the first "said" in the entire story. And maybe "volunteered" or "suggested." But verbs like "responded" are kinda duh-- of course he's responding, you can tell by what came before. And any "query" will have a question mark at the end of it... The problem with these descriptive 'saids" is that they don't trust the reader to understand context.

Several of the others-- exclaimed, huffed, greeted-- can work very well as verbs on their own, without any dialogue attached to them.

Use them sparingly, I think. One or two every once in a while...

 

[jomar]

Some highly acclaimed authors make careers out of keeping tags simple - he said, she said - and let other details speak to emotional context, etc. I like that style.

Having said that, I've been guilty of a wide range of tags when trying to set a certain tone and style.

 

[driphoney]

I will say (from profesisonal editing observation) that the trend is going too far in doing away with them altogether. In recent years, I've encountered an increasing number of instances where, in editing, I lost all track of who was speaking because of the failure to make this clear with slugs or other identification through description of action.

I don't know how far back you're looking, but I've had this problem for ages with pop fiction. There have been times when I've had to go back in dialogue and move my finger (ok, so I'm slow ) and run down the stream of conversation:

John said
Becky said
John said
Becky
John
BECKY!!

But my fear is the overly flowery.

 

[gauchecritic]

I think it was Zoot (or maybe Rumple or even Harold) that pointed out that 'said' is one of the invisible words which can be used at every opportunity and no one will be any the wiser.

Writing dialogue alone needs the fewest and shortest range of tags. When dialogue is amongst the action is when 'locuted' can be inserted.

That's a rule that must never, ever be broken upon pain of death by fondling. (which takes a long, long time)

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

I have never been a fan of verbosity in life or letters, so I find a minimum of dialog the best especially in short fiction designed to convey eroticism. I find internal monologues interesting and effective descriptions the very best device. With sufficient development of character, scene and emotion, limited dialog is needed.

 

[sr71plt]

Yeah, I've had that same experience!

I meant to make my post a little more nuanced, though. Out of that list, there were a few I might use. I know I've used "announced" as the first "said" in the entire story. And maybe "volunteered" or "suggested." But verbs like "responded" are kinda duh-- of course he's responding, you can tell by what came before. And any "query" will have a question mark at the end of it... The problem with these descriptive 'saids" is that they don't trust the reader to understand context.

Several of the others-- exclaimed, huffed, greeted-- can work very well as verbs on their own, without any dialogue attached to them.

Use them sparingly, I think. One or two every once in a while...

I'll admit to using murmured, muttered, and whispered quite a bit. But then I have a lot of sex scenes in my stories.

 

[driphoney]

I'll admit to using murmured, muttered, and whispered quite a bit. But then I have a lot of sex scenes in my stories.

But then, I think those words convey a lot.

"It hurts, Bill," she whispered into the sheets, "take it out."

expresses more than:

"It hurts, Bill," she said into the sheets, "take it out."

 

[sr71plt]

But then, I think those words convey a lot.

"It hurts, Bill," she whispered into the sheets, "take it out."

expresses more than:

"It hurts, Bill," she said into the sheets, "take it out."

Yeah, as I said, I'm heavy on the sex scenes.

 

[shereads]

"Person one," said.
"Person two."
"Person one."
"Person two."
Paragraph of introspection or action by either or possibly both characters.
"Person two," said.
"Person one."

This is hot.

 

[shereads]

I think it was Zoot (or maybe Rumple or even Harold) that pointed out that 'said' is one of the invisible words which can be used at every opportunity and no one will be any the wiser.

Writing dialogue alone needs the fewest and shortest range of tags. When dialogue is amongst the action is when 'locuted' can be inserted.

That's a rule that must never, ever be broken upon pain of death by fondling. (which takes a long, long time)

"Bump," she locuted.

 

[sr71plt]

"Bump," she locuted.

Well, as long as you bumped it, I'll point out that I posted that about "said" here an hour before G did.

 

[Belegon]

This is hot.

When you say it it is.






He said.