Stupid Euphemisms

[cheerful_deviant]

This morning while looking thru the huge collection of catalogs that seem to spawn overnight in my mailbox I came across a flyer for a,

"Complete Snow Debris Removal System" .... It was a snowblower.

Now really people, who thinks this shit up? Do the great markiting gurus actually think that changing the name will drive me wild with need for this product?

Similarly, at the car show this week I was given a card by a "Client Advisor"... he was a Salesperson. So I'm supposed to think differently about him because he's not a "Salesperson" but rather an "Advisor"?

Anyone else come across anything else similarly insulting to your intelligence?

 

[Edward Teach]

This morning while looking thru the huge collection of catalogs that seem to spawn overnight in my mailbox I came across a flyer for a,

"Complete Snow Debris Removal System" .... It was a snowblower.

Now really people, who thinks this shit up? Do the great markiting gurus actually think that changing the name will drive me wild with need for this product?

Similarly, at the car show this week I was given a card by a "Client Advisor"... he was a Salesperson. So I'm supposed to think differently about him because he's not a "Salesperson" but rather an "Advisor"?

Anyone else come across anything else similarly insulting to your intelligence?

CD, they spend big, big bucks on just that and believe it or not it works. They test words on focus groups, do all sorts of surveys and test markets, etc., just to learn which words work the best for not only the decade or year but almost the moment, not just men or women, but age groups, income levels, geographic areas, etc. Some words and phrases are changed each year.

Frank Luntz, the Republican pollster, puts out a 600 page book, updated every year, for the GOP.

Ed

 

[R. Richard]

CD:
What Edward Teach says is true.

There is also another reason people use euphemisms. I used to have business cards that read Payment Counsellor. My actual job was to collect money for the man. If the debtor did not have the money I took it out of his hide. After one of my Payment Counsellor sessions, the debtors almost always made regular payments which enhanced their credit rating, etc. The police reacted much better to Payment Counsellor than Pay Up Or I Beat The Crap Out of You.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

I must just be to cynical.

I look at an ad with an new way of saying the same thing and I imediatly think "It's an overpriced, underdesigned peice of shit they are trying to sell to the uninformed" and I avoid it like the plauge.

But I do know both of you are correct as well. My brother is in marketing and I have discussed many of these things with him at length. But it has always been my opinion that catchy little phrases and such work much better on the uninformed and less literate. I feel that they are much less effective on highly literate citizens.

For instance, I bet they would work better on the GB than in the AH.

 

[Belegon]

But it has always been my opinion that catchy little phrases and such work much better on the uninformed and less literate. I feel that they are much less effective on highly literate citizens.
AH.

I think you are correct on this CD. But you are also talking about the majority of the population. If you are selling something, would you rather sell one to a highly literate person or ten to the masses?

 

[MagicaPractica]

Best one I ever read...

"unplanned flights into terrain." Right, that makes it all better.

 

[Liar]

"Complete Snow Debris Removal System" .... It was a snowblower.

You think that's lame? Now, imagine if it had been a shovel.

#L

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Re: Re: Stupid Euphemisms

You think that's lame? Now, imagine if it had been a shovel.

#L

Good call.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Re: Best one I ever read...

"unplanned flights into terrain." Right, that makes it all better.

I used to work at a grocery store and every week an old man would come in and buy a bottle of the same kind of whiskey. Every time he would say "I'm here for my non-perscription medication," and put out the exact amount of money to pay for it.

I worked there for three years and it never ceased to make me giggle uncontrollably. Not so much stupid, just clever.
He said I was the only one who ever laughed at his joke.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Last week I got an e-mail from my company's IT dept after the network came back online.

They apologised for the "Unscheduled high priority network maintenance" - read: 'server crash'.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

The Military is just a barrel of laughs


energetic disassembly = made it go boom

vertically deployed anti-personnel device = dropped bomb on soldiers

negative patient care outcome = will die

 

[BlackShanglan]

I liked the Ephedra manufacturer's use of "adverse cardiac incident." Yes, sure beats "heart attack."

 

[sweetnpetite]

Anyone else come across anything else similarly insulting to your intelligence?

1) they don't call them 'customers' any more. they call them 'guests'

-do guests have to pay?
-do guests leave their garbage in your parking lot?
-if a guest acted half as rude as some of my customers, I would kick them out.


2) Baby bottles are now called "Infant feeding systems" (no joke!) Each company makes there product different in some way so that you have to buy *all* of your bottles, nipples and caps from them because they don't mix and match any more.

 

[sweetnpetite]

For instance, I bet they would work better on the GB than in the AH.

snob.