stuff pt.2

[April]

I was wondering lately.

How far into the bottle can you crawl before you find out you can't get back out?

I crawled in far enough that I was/am reluctant to come out. Still feeling the after effects of it. I want to go back in. It feels so nice in there.

 

[cymbidia]

Oh baby... i'm sorry. You know, though, that you gotta come out eventually or you'll drown. You know that whatever is bothering you, you won't find an answer in there. And you know, too, that as much fun as it might be, the fun aspect will erode away, slowly.

It makes you gain weight, too much drinking.
It makes you somewhat neglectful of your personal appearance.
It makes you miss important appointments
It makes you miss shining moments in the lives of those around you.

What's wrong, April?
Better to talk it out then try to drown it, darlin'.

 

[April]

General dissatisfaction, Cym. And a search for something meaningful. I detoured for a while in the bottle. Just to see what it was like. To let down the rigid self control for a time. It was nice, but the self control never totally leaves. And it told me it was time to crawl out and act like an adult again. *sigh* I wish it would shut the fuck up once in a while.

If I were to talk, no one here would have that kind of time. No pinging on anyone, but that's the way of it.

So...moving on.

 

[LukkyKnight]

Time to take a day off from it when the pull gets like that. The bottle eats judgement, then it eats you, and we'd rather have you as you are than with parts gnawed away.

 

[cymbidia]

A little licking would be nice.
Gnawing might be too... harsh.

Sucking, too.
Sucking is nice.

April?
I knew you weren't a live-in-the-bottle type.
Is "it" a short term thing, a problem that'll be fixed at some definitet point in the future or is it some kinda creeping genrally unsettling kinda thing?

 

[Bigdog]

If I were to talk, no one here would have that kind of time.

Don't underestimate us listening types. I for one am willing to hear your troubles, if you like. Might even have some sage advise to spare, too. I don't bite, honest.

Although I apparently suck at repairing ovens over the Internet.

 

[April]

LOL Bigdog. It wasn't your fault, really. I apparently neglected to look HIGH enough in the circuit breaker panel. Being short is not convenient. grrr

But to spill my beans requires a level of trust that I only have with a couple people. Who have their own lives to live. Damn it all. I just find it difficult to tell my secrets and despairs to someone at all, let alone one I don't really know.

I'll give the broad outlines. A very up and down marriage, that has lost its spark and fire. If it ever had it. I'm not terribly happy with where I live. I have no friends here, though I'm working on it. Heh. Unfortunately with married men. Slap me right there. I work too much to enjoy it anymore. Though I did at one point.

If I could meld the qualities of two men, I would have a damn near perfect one. Too bad it's not possible.

I need a hobby, a distraction. Something to while away the time. I've even considered learning woodworking! Sawdust and solvents make me sneeze.

*sigh*

 

[Bigdog]

Broad terms are fine, whatever is comfortable to you. I'm available to listen, even if it's only about the weather. I understand it is difficult to reveal things to perfect strangers, but the people we trust now were strangers once themselves. Trust takes time to develop, if it didn't it wouldn't be so special.

Except for the work part, I have been through the rest in varying degrees. That doesn't mean I have all the answers, just that I have compassion for those going through it now.

Hey, if nothing else, maybe I can learn what life is like on your side of the pond.