Stud Muffin seeking Tasty Tart or Crafty Crumpet with Witty Writing

[jsmiam]

With impish back dimples... Bonus points if you write, proofread, or edit! (In other words, hot librarians, naughty school teachers, and anyone who still has their Catholic Schoolgirl costume (honors English, of course) from Halloween should definitely apply... EDIT:After careful consideration, I realize now that I left out nurses, doctors, lawyers, principals, biker-babes, cops, prison guards, cowgirls (forward or reverse.. ), Princess Leias, dommes, and smurfettes (all of those whether real or costumed). You're all included too.

Anyway, I am married, let's get that out of the way immediately, so don't say I never told you.. Over 40, nice looking, in reasonably good shape, and as you can see, brilliant, witty, modest, and humble. In fact, when it comes to modesty, I'm the best! Actually, mostly kidding, but since I began by getting things out of the way, it makes sense to let you know I'm pretty full of corny jokes too. Forewarned=Forearmed, right?

I had this post earlier, it might tell you a little more about me, but I ran out of "ump" words (actually, I have "gazump" left, but I wanted to quit while I was ahead). http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1226880

Say hello, here or via PM. You'll be glad you did!

 

[ElizabethWest]

I prefer lemon poppyseed muffins.

 

[jsmiam]

I prefer lemon poppyseed muffins.

Hmmmmm.... I'm thinking through ways to make it happen... I shall call you Cupcake!

 

[ElizabethWest]

Hmmmmm.... I'm thinking through ways to make it happen... I shall call you Cupcake!

Well, that's better than Betsy Wetsie, I suppose.

 

[jsmiam]

Well, that's better than Betsy Wetsie, I suppose.

Well... ummmm... you see... The thing is... that I sort of, you know... came up with BettyCakes.... And I gotta say, I think the name (and the cake, it's drizzled with Molasses) might be sticky... ;-)

 

[ElizabethWest]

Well... ummmm... you see... The thing is... that I sort of, you know... came up with BettyCakes.... And I gotta say, I think the name (and the cake, it's drizzled with Molasses) might be sticky... ;-)

BettyCakes? You keep digging yourself in deeper. Drizzled or no.

 

[jsmiam]

BettyCakes? You keep digging yourself in deeper. Drizzled or no.

• Picking up phone
• Beep Beep Boop - Boop Beep Beep - Beep Boop Beep Beep
• "Hello? Heh heh"
• "Beavis! It's Butt-Head. Some chick on the internet said, 'deeper'! Huh huh"
• "Cool! Heh heh"
• "Uhhh... huh huh... Yeah. Cool."

Huh huh...

 

[ElizabethWest]

Uncle.

It's not often I am rendered speechless. I have no reply, retort, or response for that.

 

[jsmiam]

Uncle.

It's not often I am rendered speechless. I have no reply, retort, or response for that.

I didn't even have to start tickling! Damn, I'm good! ;-)

 

[ElizabethWest]

I didn't even have to start tickling! Damn, I'm good! ;-)

Don't get cocky.

 

[jsmiam]

Don't get cocky.

•Beep Beep Boop - Boop Beep Beep - ...

I know how to quit while ahead... ;-)

 

[ElizabethWest]

•Beep Beep Boop - Boop Beep Beep - ...

I know how to quit while ahead... ;-)

Truly? We shall see...

 

[ElizabethWest]

"If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses."

 

[jsmiam]

"If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses."

What's the speed of dark?

 

[ElizabethWest]

If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, would they do anything?

 

[jsmiam]

If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, would they do anything?

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

 

[ElizabethWest]

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Was his name Macbeth?

When I die, I'm gonna leave my body to science fiction.

 

[jsmiam]

Was his name Macbeth?

When I die, I'm gonna leave my body to science fiction.

Macbeth??

Showoff!

Notice how I quoted Beavis and Butt-head, right? Uhhh... huh huh... Like, double double toil and trouble...

 

[ElizabethWest]

Macbeth??

Showoff!

Notice how I quoted Beavis and Butt-head, right? Uhhh... huh huh... Like, double double toil and trouble...

Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.

 

[jsmiam]

Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.

Bubba's discount assisted living facility and radiator repair...

 

[ElizabethWest]

Bubba's discount assisted living facility and radiator repair...

Yoda couldn't have said it better.

 

[jsmiam]

Yoda couldn't have said it better.

Well, he might have said "In Bubba's discount ALF and Radiator Repair you are."

And why isn't a yoda smiley available? Ok, pretend this is gray, with bigger eyes, ok? EDIT: Ok, and smaller ears.

 

[ElizabethWest]

Well, he might have said "In Bubba's discount ALF and Radiator Repair you are."

And why isn't a yoda smiley available? Ok, pretend this is gray, with bigger eyes, ok? EDIT: Ok, and smaller ears.

Smiley there is. http://orig13.deviantart.net/b88f/f/2006/338/4/9/yoda_emoticon_by_jaredm.gif

 

[jsmiam]

Smiley there is. http://orig13.deviantart.net/b88f/f/2006/338/4/9/yoda_emoticon_by_jaredm.gif

Getting fancy and high tech, are we? I can live with that. I'm always a tad leery of cross-linking to other sites, some people on the internet get cranky over that, but that's a little bit more a yesteryear gripe. Just the other day, I linked to some Metallica songs... I hear they're very understanding!

EDIT: Reference to Metallica was a joke. I do boycott their music, including one good song, but I don't pirate any of it.

 

[submit4pleasure]

Bubba's discount assisted living facility and radiator repair...

Is that near the Urban Chicken Retirement Farm/Potpie Factory?