Struggling with Second Story - how long is too long?

[sillypanda]

My first story was a quick little fantasy I wrote for a friend and submitted on a whim.

My second one is far more like my regular writing - detailed, character focused and LONG.

It takes place in a single evening, several hours.

I submitted it as a test draft - it's at 5 (Lit) pages before the characters even have sex, though they start fooling around on 3 or 4.

Is this too long for a single chapter?

I have future chapters planned with the same characters, but I want to set the stage properly.

I've let two friends read it and both gave good feedback, but I mean, c'mon, they're friends. The one who is familiar with Lit said of the length "the women will love you for it, but you'll probably get hate mail too." Ha.

Should I divide the first chapter, as I see it, into chapters, or let people read it as I see it - as a single first chapter in the characters' story? (My first story consisted of two characters who knew each other very well; this one is two characters who only know each other in passing.)

Any advice from you wise Lit authors would be very appreciated! Thank you and have a wonderful day everyone!

 

[sillypanda]

Oops...

And I just noticed this is NOT the author's forum...

if this is the wrong place for this question, I sincerely apologized! I clicked the wrong link. *blush*

 

[sr71plt]

For many, five Lit pages without sex is too long, yes. This is an erotica site. For others, it apparently isn't. Your choice is where the balance is in what you want to write and how much (and what kind of) attention you'd like to get for it. There's no formula answer anyone can give you on that.

 

[sillypanda]

Thank you very much for your feedback!

Yes, it does seem a bit long to go without sex - there is a slow gradual buildup of sexual tension. But if my friend is right, I don't mind some hate mail as long as there are people out there who want to read through it - or maybe skim.

Thank you again so much - I really respect your opinion and appreciate the advice! I may give it to a seasoned editor to chop down a bit.

 

[nakdsub]

Of course I haven't read the story but...

I would say to make sure you don't get too bogged down with every little adjective. At least for me, that becomes very boring.
As for number of pages before sex, I don't think it's a big deal. I have written stories 4 pages and thrown the sex in at the very end, and have had no complaints, for that anyway.
Good luck.

 

[sillypanda]

Thank you so much for the feedback! Perhaps this wasn't the wrong place to post after all. ;D

Absolutely, it all depends on the story - and there are certainly some descriptions that run a little long that I can cut.

Thank you for the suggestion! I'm going to go back through it before I send it off to be edited.