Lost Cause
It's a wrap!
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2001
- Posts
- 30,949
To ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics
intent on killing us, airport screeners are not allowed to profile
people.
They will, however, continue to perform random searches of 80-year-old
women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret
Service
agents who are members of the President's security detail, and 85-year
old Congressmen with metal hips.
Let's pause a moment and take the following test...
In 1972, 11 Israeli athletes were killed at the Munich Olympics by:
(a) Grandma Moses
(b) The night cleaning crew at Rockefeller Center
(c) Invaders from Mars
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:
(a) Norwegians from the Lichen Herbarium of the University of Oslo
(b) Elvis
(c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
(a) A pizza delivery boy
(b) Crazed feminists complaining that having to throw a grenade
beyond
its own burst radius in basic training was an unfair and
sexist
job requirement
(c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
(a) Luca Brazzi, for not being given a part in "Godfather 2"
(b) The Tooth Fairy
(c) Butch and Sundance, who had a few sticks of dynamite left over
from
their
train mission
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1993, the World Trade Center was bombed by:
(a) The entire cast of "Cats"
(b) Martha Stewart
(c) Cheese-crazed tourists from Wisconsin
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania a were bombed by:
(a) Mr. Rogers
(b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
(c) The World Wrestling Federation to promote its next villain:
"Mustapha the Merciless"
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed by:
(a) Bugs Bunny, Wil E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd
(b) The US Supreme Court
(c) Barney
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
Hmmm...nope, ain't no patterns here. Darned if I know why we should
ever
even think about profiling.
intent on killing us, airport screeners are not allowed to profile
people.
They will, however, continue to perform random searches of 80-year-old
women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret
Service
agents who are members of the President's security detail, and 85-year
old Congressmen with metal hips.
Let's pause a moment and take the following test...
In 1972, 11 Israeli athletes were killed at the Munich Olympics by:
(a) Grandma Moses
(b) The night cleaning crew at Rockefeller Center
(c) Invaders from Mars
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:
(a) Norwegians from the Lichen Herbarium of the University of Oslo
(b) Elvis
(c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
(a) A pizza delivery boy
(b) Crazed feminists complaining that having to throw a grenade
beyond
its own burst radius in basic training was an unfair and
sexist
job requirement
(c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
(a) Luca Brazzi, for not being given a part in "Godfather 2"
(b) The Tooth Fairy
(c) Butch and Sundance, who had a few sticks of dynamite left over
from
their
train mission
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1993, the World Trade Center was bombed by:
(a) The entire cast of "Cats"
(b) Martha Stewart
(c) Cheese-crazed tourists from Wisconsin
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania a were bombed by:
(a) Mr. Rogers
(b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
(c) The World Wrestling Federation to promote its next villain:
"Mustapha the Merciless"
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed by:
(a) Bugs Bunny, Wil E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd
(b) The US Supreme Court
(c) Barney
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
Hmmm...nope, ain't no patterns here. Darned if I know why we should
ever
even think about profiling.
