Stress relief....

[KillerMuffin]

You're wound tighter than a cheap broken watch and if you don't start screaming at someone you're gonna break something, on them. You may or may not have any idea how you got so stressed out, you just know that you are.

How do you know when you're stressed? Can you tell? What do you do to control stress? What long range measures do you use, and what short term patches do you utilize? Do you know what sorts of things stress you out? Or do you just sort of wing it? Some of us have higher stress lifestyles than others of us. Any tips, hints, or allegations of things better left unsaid? Mine is supposed to be really low stress. Yeeeeeahhhh...

The reason I ask: I had a "stress episode" yesterday and screeched, rather like a fishwife, at the ol' StudMuffin whose only sin was to call me like he does every evening. The things I used to do for long range stress control are no longer available to me. I used to hike and ride my bicycle and go for nice long refreshing runs. Its too hot to do that now and I fall off of bicycles with astonishing regularity.

The relaxation techniques I was taught as a "quick patch" just don't work all the time. Sometimes I'm into mid explosion before I've even figured out that I'm stressing like a 2lb test line hooked into a 50lb catfish.

 

[Expertise]

YEA 1K....Or....I can't wait and lurk any longer.

A possible solution to your problem...

HoW tO kEeP a HeAlThY lEvEl Of InSaNiTy AnD dRiVe ThOsE aRoUnD yOu MaD!


- At lunch time sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

- Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

- Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. This is particularly effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.

- Send e-mails to the rest of your company explaining exactly what your doing. eg. "If anyone needs me i'll be in the bathroom."

- Put mosquito and camoflage netting around your cubicle.

- Insist that your e-mail adress be xena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com or elvis_theKing_@companyname.com

- Everytime someone asks you something, ask if they want fries with that.

- Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In"

- Develop an unnatural fear of staplers

- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

- In the memo field of all your cheques, write 'for sexual favors'

- Finish all your sentances with "In accordance with the prophecy"

- Dont use any punctuation

- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

- Ask people what sex they are

- Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go"

- Sing along at the opera

- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.

- Go to a poetry recital and loudly ask why the poems don't rhyme.



Instant stress relief my dear.

[Edited by Expertise on 09-12-2000 at 09:52 AM]

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Okay, here's an acronym you hardly ever see me use...

ROTFALMFAO!

 

[Never]

Oddly enough I don't suffer from stress.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

What, Never?

 

[Expertise]

Since it isn't sex (so she says) whats your secret...alchohol?

 

[minx]

Expertise had some very good suggestions job-related stress. I have some for at home use:

Jam 39 tiny marshmellows up your nose then try to sneeze them out.

When someone tells you to "Have a nice day!", tell them you have other plans.

Make a list of things to do that you have already done.

Sit naked on shelled, hard-boiled eggs.

Pop some popcorn without the lid.

Put your toddlers clothes on backwards, and send him off to pre-school as if nothing were wrong.

Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.

Leaf through a National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.

Pay your electric bill in pennies.

Read the dictionary upside down, and look for secret messages.

Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.

Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.

Dance naked in front of your pets.

 

[April]

Dance naked in front of your pets.

I do that all the time. It still doesn't help.

 

[Expertise]

I bet your pets like it though.

 

[April]

They're used to it, so they don't even watch any more.
You are such a flirt! LOL Maybe that should be your new title.

Expertise:
Canada's biggest flirt

Naw, doesn't work for me.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.

Leaf through a National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.

Read the dictionary upside down, and look for secret messages.

Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.

Dance naked in front of your pets.

LMAO,

I did that in chinese numbers because I don't know roman numerals. - <--- this, by the way, means 1.

Damn, no NG, will Playboy work? (He swears he buys it for the articles)

Daddy did that. He was making about 400 bucks an hour at the time for some gawdawful reason and could actually prove it. Spent 2 hours in the waiting room, so he billed the doc 800 bucks. Took him to small claims court as well. Too bad he didn't win...

Uh... no, my chihuahua is opposed to any nekkid goings ons. He bites my toes.

Gawd Expertise, my favorite canucklehead slut puppy, I almost wish I had a job so I could do that...

 

[Silverlily]

Gawd Expertise, my favorite canucklehead slut puppy, I almost wish I had a job so I could do that... [/B]

But if you really did those things at work, they would probably fire you for acting like a looney (no Canadian money jokes, please).

But then, you could hunt this Expertise critter. Once you've bagged your quarry (this is the best part), you could stuff him and mount him. I'm certain that will relieve any stress you may have.

 

[Hecate]

Try this one for meditation ....

Feeling stressed?

Picture yourself near a stream...

Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air...

Nothing can bother you here...

No one knows this secret place...

You are in total seclusion from the place called world...

The soothing sound of the gentl waterfall fills the air
with a cascade of serenity...

The water is clear...

You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding
under the water...

There now...feeling better?

 

[KillerMuffin]

oooooooooooo perfect Hecate, just perfect! I like that one. I will have to practice it.

Hmmm Kitten eyes, how about I stiffen him and mount him instead? I'm not nearly as talented with a dildo as Deborah is. Stiffen and mount Expertise... that is stress relief...

 

[RonG]

Sugar and Stress

Two words: Bubble Wrap. Nothing so safely contains my wrath and desire to strangle someone as sitting quietly with a handful of bubble wrap and popping those suckers one after another. Especially, those big ones (1" diameter") that sound like a firecracker.

 

[teresafannin]

I love bubble wrap!!! This is embarrassing to confess, but we fight over it at work. It is so much fun to take the big sheets of bubble wrap that come with jewelry fixtures, a person on each end & twist until you meet in the middle. By the time the sheet is flat, everyone is laughing.

 

[Thumper]

Got something for ya...

Hey Ms Muffin...I have a little something I can email ya....it is a large file though...about 1.2 Meg...Let me know..It's a blast!

 

[Never]

What, Never?

Oddly enough, I don't suffer from stress.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[Weird Harold]

Some good music

What works for me, is to really get into some good music that fits the mood I wish I was in.

Specifically, Days of Future Past, by the Moody Blues.

Get a blinfold, and a good headset that blocks all outside noise. Lock yourself in the bedroom, get comfortable on the bed, don the blindfold and headset, then start the tape or CD. Ignore everything except fire, flood and earthquake until the whole album is finished.

As long as I can get through the entire album uninterrupted, that particular piece of music takes me through all of the emotions and feelings of a full day, and leaves me at peace when it's done.

The key to this method of stress releif, is to arrange things so you can really pay attention to the music and nothing else.

 

[BeautyBabe]

Re: Sugar and Stress

Two words: Bubble Wrap.

Try this, then!

http://www.urban75.com/Mag/bubble.html

On a more serious note, what about trying aromatherapy or reflexology? Use lavender essential oil in a burner or in your bath at the end of the night. Works miracles!

 

[OUTSIDER]

stress and frustration is your body's way of telling you to slow down before it has t

A good vibrater and a life times supply of batteries will clear that problem right up, it did for my last girlfriend.