Stress,I believe,is making me sick.

[lovetoread]

Feel free to stop reading,I am going to bitch and moan for a little while now.

I seem, for the last few months, to have something happen to me on a weekly basis. It all started when I decided to divorce and has gone downhill from there. I am constantly sick,my back is killing me,my ibs has totally taken over my life,and my kids think this is a great time to test their limits now that Dad doesnt live here anymore.

Sometimes I want to just run away. I get so sad lately,it seems that my life doesnt seem worth it anymore, and that scares me. I have Tiger and am very happy to have him,but he is so far away and it seems that everything bad is happening to me now,when he cannot help me.

I want to go talk to someone,but am scared that perhaps the ex might be able to use that against me if this divorce gets ugly.

And to top everything off,I downloaded a program that messed my whole computer up. It took me 2 days to get it to work again. Right when the 2nd part of the Poetry Olympics were going on.

~Sigh~

Life is just too much right now. I want to stop and get off this merry go round for just a little while.

~LTR

 

[tn_8tiv]

Sorry LTR for your plight. I know that sympathy is not what you are looking for but if you need someone to talk to, I'm there for you. Tiger, don't worry, I'm not trying to move in on your turf...just trying to be a friend. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

 

[Cherry]

Try this:

Shut your computer off.

Take a nice long walk outside by yourself ... breathe deeply, concentrate on the sound and feel of the cool air filling your lungs ... imagine it washing your tenseness away.

As you start to calm down, force yourself to remember all the good things about your life right now. Concentrate on the positive.

The day each of your children were born ... the first time they smiled at you ... how they cuddle in your lap.

Think about the happiness that your love for Tiger brings you ... know that it will grow ... feel his presence in your life even while he is far away. Replay his words in your mind ... let yourself smile.

Realize that things will get better in time ... don't give in to fear and loneliness.

(((((hugs)))))) from a Lit family member. Be well.

 

[Azwed]

Find someone to give you a massage and just take a break from life for a day or a few hours if you can.

I had a very similar experience with stress realated pain my last semester in engineering. What is happening to you sounds just like what happend to me. Try and get enough sleep and do something to take your mind off what is causing your stress.

 

[LukkyKnight]

Stress eats at you

An old friend or a member of the family is a good place to get a reality check, often. Simplifying your life is often hard, because the easier things to stop doing are probably the ones that help you stay sane (now is NOT the time to quit the book club, or the bowling league, or the tuesday lunch bunch, or anything like that.)

When things crop up try to see them as detours not barriers.

Be sure you are taking care of yourself. You are no good to those kids if you can't help them because you've gotten sick or overwhelmed, and you want to model the right things for them, too... you need to eat right, to sleep enough, to do all those obvious things that you KNOW but are tempted to skip over lightly.

Divorce is a tricky time, you're intent on proving you can manage it all, but there's no need to... let other people help, and don't forget to ask for what you need even if you're shy about asking for what you want but don't actually need...

Good luck. It's hard. Most people survive the experience, but none are unchanged by it.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Hang in there

These are good suggestions posted here. Try and concentrate on the good rather than letting the bad overwhelm you. Much easier said than done, though. And you do realize you are NOT alone with these feelings either. Stress is a killer. Try and relax and let your mind take a break from everything. Hug those kids and this sadness will pass eventually.

Take care, LTR.

 

[espressolover]

lovetoread

Hang in there, hun!!

I know how hard it is to deal with life sometimes.

Like someone said...get away from your computer for awhile, take some long walks, long drives to the countryside.

I also know how hard it is being apart from the one you love...I have some intimate experience with that.

We are alll here for you.

Warmest thoughts!

 

[Jellybeangirl]

Stress really fucking sucks! Now that I've pointed out the obvious...

LTR- I've read a lot of your posts and you seem like a reasonable person. Identifying that stress & going thru a divorce as the things that are bringing you down is the first step. Sometimes it is hard to be strong and find the strength. But as you chip away at everything that is going on, you know that each day will get easier. Hang in there. It WILL get better!

 

[lovetoread]

Thanks for the warm thoughts,ya'll.

I have a new mantra now,it is "It will get better."

Be well everyone.

~LTR

 

[Jaded1]

Sorry, Lady...........

Hi, LTR. You're right stress will drain you physically and mentally. Any divorce is a rough time. I remember mine many years ago. I think it like a scare that remains with you forever. My divorce was nasty. My recommendations is to keep a low profile. Yes, your soon to be Ex would love the opportunity to get dirt on you to prove you a unfit parent. Yes, I know it's rough. By all means consult a doctor about your stress. Doctors some times get a little pill happy which will make it hard to function raising children. Find one that will put you in touch with someone to council you to reduce the stress. No court will hold it against you for seeking help to cope with the mental strain of a divorce. The children will take this time to try to get away with as much as possible. It is there nature. They will also try to use you against him and visa versa. Don't blame them there lives are being turned upside down now too. They are trying to cope also. Just remember it does finally come to a end and life will return to some sort of normal behavior. I went through the same as you. I was a single loving father of two. Remember, you have a lot of good friends here at Lit. Very willing to listen and help get you through this.......................

Jade1, CT

Smile We here at Lit love you.........

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Huggs to you honey, I know about wanting to jump off the Merry Go Round. I'm in the middle of taking five weeks off from my own companies. I have let them consume me the last few years. I had not taken more than 3 days off in a row for 3 years. And I still had a home and family to run also.

I may have handed the business over for 5 weeks but there is still the stress of two kids and realising what is left in life after taking out all that time for work.

I'm just trying to say that I know the similar stress that you are feeling. Just relax as much as possible for 'you' time. Explain to the kids you 'are' tired and need more help.

Sort out what job really need to be done now and which ones it does not matter if it gets in the morning.

I have been amazed the last few weeks once I started telling friends just how stessed I was feeling how they have jumped in there to help me. Just knowing someone cares about you and understands is big. We undersatnd what you are feeling

Don't be afraid to go chat to a doctor.

We are wounderful women, not wonder woman

 

[scrymettet]

Shhhh...

here are
my ears to listen
my shoulder to cry on
my arms to hug you
some chocolate (belgian and home made)
let the tigresse in you roar

Take care

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Huggs to you honey, I know about wanting to jump off the Merry Go Round. I'm in the middle of taking five weeks off from my own companies. I have let them consume me the last few years. I had not taken more than 3 days off in a row for 3 years. And I still had a home and family to run also.

I may have handed the business over for 5 weeks but there is still the stress of two kids and realising what is left in life after taking out all that time for work.

I'm just trying to say that I know the similar stress that you are feeling. Just relax as much as possible for 'you' time. Explain to the kids you 'are' tired and need more help.

Sort out what job really need to be done now and which ones it does not matter if it gets in the morning.

I have been amazed the last few weeks once I started telling friends just how stessed I was feeling how they have jumped in there to help me. Just knowing someone cares about you and understands is big. We undersatnd what you are feeling

Don't be afraid to go chat to a doctor.

We are wounderful women, not wonder woman

 

[Cheyenne]

Hasn't you lawyer suggested that you join a support group and/or get psychological help? Not just you, but your kids, too? Remember, they are also going through the divorce.

The divorce of the person close to me that I post about here quite a bit just got to the point where the child was able to go see a psychologist, too. The wife felt SO much better, since much of the time was spent getting practical tips on how to handle the soon-to-be ex husband so that he hurts the child as little as possible. What seemed so hopeless got much better after professional help came to the rescue! Go. Take your kids, too, if they are acting up. The whole family needs the support help right now! You won't look bad, you'll look like the caring mom that you are.

 

[Rubyfruit]

lovetoread,

I can feel the stress from your words. You are going through a tremendous change right now and that alone is very stressful.

Please see your doctor and talk to him/her about it. A few months ago, I was feeling similar to how you are now (after two cross country moves, etc.) and my doctor prescribed paxil. It's the first time I've ever been on any psychotropic medication and I have to say that I felt better within a week or two. More on an even keel. Able to sleep and concentrate better and a whole lot less irritable.

Be well sweetheart. Be good to yourself and know that things will get better soon.

 

[Cheyenne]

Must be gremlins in this thread!

*double post*

 

[llee69]

{{{{{{{{{lovetoread}}}}}}}}}}}

All the hugs you need right now girl. From past experience I know you are going through Hell right now. There really has been some good advice given here by people who care for your health.

NO court will ever hold anything against you for having email friends. So feel free to write me,(llee_69@yahoo.com or any other of the people who have offered to talk with you.

Know that my thoughts and prayers go out to you.

 

[Trinka]

Sending good vibes your way LTR!

It will get better. We just moved cross country last year and the stress was unbelieveable. My psychologist friend said major moves are on the same level as divorce and the death of a very close loved one.

Take one day at a time and have faith in your decision. Its taken us a while and we are just starting to come out of the stressfull questioning time that was often depressing.

peace to your heart

 

[Guest]

I can only echo what has been posted previously. Stress can injure your body and spirit. Please, take some time for you. If only 10 minutes in the shower to cry or 5 minutes of sitting in a dark silence.
I am a pretty good listener. Please, seriously, feel free to contact me if you need an ear. I happen to be a counselor, as well.

Good luck!

 

[espressolover]

lovetoread

I'll echo that as well...

If you ever need to talk you can get in touch with me.


Take good care of you!

 

[ksmybuttons]

I had a couple of years like that, too, where life just walked all over me. Good things cause stress, too, so you would be off the chart on the stress level tests. ( You know the ones that they gave at every "feel good" workshop in the 80's?)

So here is how I like to deal with it.

I wallow for a while...I just like to throw myself a little pity party and add up the good and bad things that are making my stomach live in my throat. Take a good inventory. Identify what I am dealing with. If I really know what it is, I can face it better. Sometimes I invite my very best friends to attend, but usually it's just me.

I do just the opposite of what LuckyKnight suggests: I pick out my very favorite activity, the one that is just for me, and I keep doing that. The rest of them, I tell them that I need a break and I take it. People understand.

I try to make sure the things I have to do are taken care of: work, child, pay the bills. I let the rest slide.

I make sure I get enough sleep, eat healthy and take a vitamin and walk, exercise every day.

Then I just take it one thing at a time. What is causing my stress is not going to go away so I just try not to add any more.

If you want to go to a counselor, I think you should. What you say to your counselor is totally confidential and cannot be used against you in any way. In fact, I think that you having sought new stategies to deal with what is happening to you and your children is in your favor and will make a difference in how successfully you get through this.

From what I have read of you, I think you can do it.

 

[TigerClaw]

Oh Honey......

Memorial Day Weekend is not far off. The weekends we get until then will be used to rejuvenate you. Don't fret.