AwkwardMD
The worst Buddhist
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2014
- Posts
- 2,623
I don’t make very many threads. I don’t usually attempt to spark discussion, and I am not doing that here either. I just have some thoughts, and this seems like the appropriate venue. I’ve gotten a run of comments on some of my stories, and I’d like to say something.
On the one hand, the comments are undeniably complimentary, especially on Sidechain. They seem to like the emotional depth that I work very hard to realize in my characters. The first two end with the line “Good work”. To me, that’s a textbook example of grudging respect. Cool. The third comment repeats the phrasing but sticks it earlier, and it is a more glowing endorsement of my writing.
I don’t get tons of comments, but a streak of comments that all seem to be from the same reader is not so strange that I would normally think anything of it…
…except that they’re anonymous and they’ve been appearing at times of the day when anonymous comments don’t normally post due to comment moderation. That, to me, says they were written by someone with an account who is then choosing to post anonymously. They also refer to me as “the writer” in one of them, which is not how most of the other commenters in my stories talk to me. The comments section can have a kind of dialog, a kind of back and forth, if readers choose or care to engage. They call me Awkward or AMD, or You. Sometimes The author. The writer is a curious choice, almost like they don’t want to engage directly with me, preferring to speak to other readers around me, and still feel compelled to say something anyway. Which is fine.
Also, these comments are on stories that @THBGato linked recently (for which I am grateful).
So here’s what I know: complimentary, grudging respect, has an account but chooses not to use it. Probably reads the AH.
Here’s what I think: maybe doesn’t like me personally. Gave my writing a shot anyway. Judged it fairly even if, I suspect, my writing subjects aren’t their favorite.
I work really hard on my stories, much harder than I do on posting. I am a much better author than I am a forum participant, and would rather be known for having produced good art. I completely understand if most of you never look closer at the reason I’m here in the first place; I can be polarizing. It's fine.
Thank you. Whoever you are, thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
A few quick housekeeping notes:
- this is not a plea for support. I do not need propping up.
- the final comment mentioned something about Delia possibly being trans. She is not and was not envisioned that way. On the one hand, I had a mental model for Delia (can be found by searching "Rarity Bee"), and she's just shaped that way. One the other hand, I have no problem just having characters be trans. I'd have been explicit, like I was for Helen. In other stories I've had trans characters who are socially stealth, and I still have them talk about it privately because that's a big source of anxiety and emotional conflict.
- this is also not a plea to reveal yourself. It's fine. I'm grateful and felt compelled to say something, that's all.
On the one hand, the comments are undeniably complimentary, especially on Sidechain. They seem to like the emotional depth that I work very hard to realize in my characters. The first two end with the line “Good work”. To me, that’s a textbook example of grudging respect. Cool. The third comment repeats the phrasing but sticks it earlier, and it is a more glowing endorsement of my writing.
I don’t get tons of comments, but a streak of comments that all seem to be from the same reader is not so strange that I would normally think anything of it…
…except that they’re anonymous and they’ve been appearing at times of the day when anonymous comments don’t normally post due to comment moderation. That, to me, says they were written by someone with an account who is then choosing to post anonymously. They also refer to me as “the writer” in one of them, which is not how most of the other commenters in my stories talk to me. The comments section can have a kind of dialog, a kind of back and forth, if readers choose or care to engage. They call me Awkward or AMD, or You. Sometimes The author. The writer is a curious choice, almost like they don’t want to engage directly with me, preferring to speak to other readers around me, and still feel compelled to say something anyway. Which is fine.
Also, these comments are on stories that @THBGato linked recently (for which I am grateful).
So here’s what I know: complimentary, grudging respect, has an account but chooses not to use it. Probably reads the AH.
Here’s what I think: maybe doesn’t like me personally. Gave my writing a shot anyway. Judged it fairly even if, I suspect, my writing subjects aren’t their favorite.
I work really hard on my stories, much harder than I do on posting. I am a much better author than I am a forum participant, and would rather be known for having produced good art. I completely understand if most of you never look closer at the reason I’m here in the first place; I can be polarizing. It's fine.
Thank you. Whoever you are, thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
A few quick housekeeping notes:
- this is not a plea for support. I do not need propping up.
- the final comment mentioned something about Delia possibly being trans. She is not and was not envisioned that way. On the one hand, I had a mental model for Delia (can be found by searching "Rarity Bee"), and she's just shaped that way. One the other hand, I have no problem just having characters be trans. I'd have been explicit, like I was for Helen. In other stories I've had trans characters who are socially stealth, and I still have them talk about it privately because that's a big source of anxiety and emotional conflict.
- this is also not a plea to reveal yourself. It's fine. I'm grateful and felt compelled to say something, that's all.
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