"Straight" Men

[John988]

[This content has been removed due to a copyright violation.]

[This content has been removed due to a copyright violation.]

 

[Dreamer110]

I'm guessing you're straight until something bends you.

 

[nassauguy_2001]

A lot of men post on here talking about how much they enjoy or fantasize about getting together with other men and giving and receiving blowjobs and handjobs, having anal sex, and so on, but they insist that they are straight. The word a lot of people would give these feelings and thoughts is "bisexual." Why the reluctance to say that?

P. S.
This is a genuine question, not judgmental and rhetorical.

I have wondered the same thing.

I am bi and proud of it!

 

[HornyHal]

I kinda agree with dreamer, i think all these gentlemen talk about all these clearly bi or homosexual acts and then say they are straight because that is what they need to tell themselves. I think it is easier to just say that you have an open mind or fluid with your sexuality. Just have fun, there is no need to put a label on it.

 

[thatdamman]

I kinda agree with dreamer, i think all these gentlemen talk about all these clearly bi or homosexual acts and then say they are straight because that is what they need to tell themselves. I think it is easier to just say that you have an open mind or fluid with your sexuality. Just have fun, there is no need to put a label on it.

I agree, the label is not important!

 

[FAITHandFLESH]

Sorry but as a truly straight man, if you are a dude and another man's cock turns you on, you are NOT straight. You are either bi or gay and just don't know it yet...

 

[OldFred65]

A lot of men post on here talking about how much they enjoy or fantasize about getting together with other men and giving and receiving blowjobs and handjobs, having anal sex, and so on, but they insist that they are straight. The word a lot of people would give these feelings and thoughts is "bisexual." Why the reluctance to say that?

P. S.
This is a genuine question, not judgmental and rhetorical.

The way it has always been explained to me is that a guy is not bi or gay just because he has exchanged hand jobs or blow jobs with another guy. That is just helping himself and the other guy get off. Even if he has fucked another guys butt he is not bi or gay, he has just found a hole to get off in. He doesn't become bi or gay until he has had his butt fucked by another guy. I myself became bi nearly 20 years ago and I love it.

 

[John988]

[This content has been removed due to a copyright violation.]

 

[John988]

[This content has been removed due to a copyright violation.]

 

[Man4Strapon]

I think guys who fantasize about it but haven't tried it don't apply the "bisexual" label because they haven't actually gone through with a bisexual act.
For example, If I watch two lesbians in a porn and I wish it was me eating that pussy in the scene, that doesn't make me a woman.
Therefore a guy wishing he was having a bisexual/gay experience shouldn't have that label put on him until he's actually done it. If you feel that strongly about needing to label him (or her), then bicurious should be the term used for someone who fantasizes about it but has not had an actual experience.

I do want to have a bi experience and am fine with being called bicurious. But calling me bisexual when I haven't actually done anything with a guy.... that is just lazy labelling.

I would agree though that someone who has had a bisexual experience probably shouldn't identify as "straight".... unless they did it and hated it and have no intention of ever doing it again, then I will accept that. But if you have done it and are willing to do it again, then calling yourself straight is lying including to yourself.

 

[Man4Strapon]

I'm sorry, but that is a bizarre definition. That implies that you have to be tested before you can adopt a different identity.

Have to agree, OldFred65's definition makes no sense.

You're adding a whole lot of grey to something that is fairly black and white: You have either had gay sex or you haven't.

Suggesting that a Man 'A' (the receiver) is homosexual but the Man 'B' (the penetrator) avoids that label because he is simply getting off on whatever hole happens to be available.... is among the most ridiculous things I have ever heard.

 

[magicalmoments]

Labelling is important. Denying it is absurd.
Ask anyone who has ever had to select a can of food from a mixed batch with all the labels removed. Is it soup or peaches or tomatoes or pet food for dinner tonight?
If you are a male who prefers female sex partners but also enjoys indulging yourself in cock play or other sex activity with males then you are at least bisexual.
If you insist on calling yourself straight then you are in denial about your true sexuality.
I repeat, labels are important.

 

[sissyfluff]

Words have meanings

Hmmn.. I dunno. You can dream about robbing a bank. You can talk about robbing a bank. You can actually plan to rob a bank. But until you actually rob a bank.....you aren't a bank robber.

 

[John988]

[This content has been removed due to a copyright violation.]

 

[magicalmoments]

Sexuality is not about taking action. It's about what you feel. Consider a man who fantasizes about other men, watches gay porn, looks at men passing on the street thinking, "Damn, I wish I could get in bed with him." By making sexuality contingent on action, you are denying people the right to have feelings.

And, let's turn this around. If it takes sex to be gay, does it also take sex to be straight? Are all of our sexualities amorphous until we stick our dick in someone? No. Absolutely not. Because being straight is the default. You have to take action before you can break away from that mold.

It's been a long time since I've gotten angry because of someone online, but you all are pissing me off with your elitism, exclusion, and denial.

Have a good look at yourself dickhead. You pose a question, you claim it's a serious question.
A range of people contribute to the central issue and others comment on related issues that are directly relevant to the central issue you raised
The opinions are diverse, as you'd expect. Yet you respond alleging elitism, exclusion and denial. Seems to me you are guilty of this yourself.
Take your anger to an anger management counsellor, sounds like you need it.

 

[OldFred65]

I'm sorry, but that is a bizarre definition. That implies that you have to be tested before you can adopt a different identity. By your standard being bisexual or gay is like being in a frat: you have to make it as a pledge before you can move into the house.

You're being exclusionary and elitist.

Okay, I'm sorry. I was just repeating what I had been told by another person, not my own opinion. Personally I don't care one way or another. Since opening up to my bi side with my wife's encouragement 20 years ago, I find that I like cock equally as much as pussy, so to me at least, I am bi.

 

[MilkFountain]

A lot of men post on here talking about how much they enjoy or fantasize about getting together with other men and giving and receiving blowjobs and handjobs, having anal sex, and so on, but they insist that they are straight. The word a lot of people would give these feelings and thoughts is "bisexual." Why the reluctance to say that?

P. S.
This is a genuine question, not judgmental and rhetorical.

For me, it's easy to define the line: I am sometimes strongly attracted to an erect penis, but never feel romantic attraction to another man, would never kiss a man (kissing is the most intimate of acts; ask a prostitute), and always prefer sucking a breast to sucking a cock, although they are both arousing.

 

[Man4Strapon]

Sexuality is not about taking action. It's about what you feel. Consider a man who fantasizes about other men, watches gay porn, looks at men passing on the street thinking, "Damn, I wish I could get in bed with him." By making sexuality contingent on action, you are denying people the right to have feelings.

Someone can absolutely feel that they are gay without having had a same-sex experience, just as someone who's never had sex of any kind can feel straight. You are right.

But this topic was created by you pointing out people's hesitation in accepting labels. My response was in trying to explain why someone who desires gay sex, may not consider themselves gay or bi: To them, the hesitation might be that they haven't had that experience. YOU are the one asking why their reluctance. I'm giving you a plausible explanation.

And I largely agree with that myself, as someone who has gay fantasies. Feelings can change. A few years ago the thought disgusted me. Now it turns me on but I do not consider myself gay or bisexual because it's just fantasy, in the same way I sometimes want to kill members of my staff. I do not consider myself a mass murder for simply thinking it might be cathartic to rid my office of assholes.

Perhaps someone who identifies as gay has their first same-sex experience and hates it. They realize that they were mistaken and want to be with the opposite sex. They are then straight, in my opinion, despite their previous experience.
Likewise a straight person who has gay sex might decide they connect more with that gay experience and therefore prefer to identify as gay, despite having had straight experiences before.

No one is handcuffed to their sexual orientation and no one is handcuffed to their previous sexual experiences. I prefer to respect however someone chooses to identify themselves, rather than question why they don't choose a label that better fits my own viewpoint.

"By making sexuality contingent on action, you are denying people the right to have feelings."

You are so protective of people's right to feel how they want... unless they consider themselves to be straight despite bisexual desires. Then you feel that this issue needs to be addressed and are perplexed by their reluctance to accept labels that others wish to apply to them?
If a man desires to have gay sex but considers himself straight, then "the people" you suggest would label them as bisexual, are in fact guilty of denying someone the right to feel about their own sexual orientation however they want.

 

[John988]

[This content has been removed due to a copyright violation.]

 

[Man4Strapon]

Man4Strapon, there are so many things to quote that I don't even know where to start.

You are completely avoiding my statement. I take umbrage with your definition. You can ignore that and try to turn this into a rant on sexual experimentation and how I am doing everything that I say I'm upset with, which is hypocritical, and so on and so forth.

This is the quote that I pulled out from your post to discuss:

I do want to have a bi experience and am fine with being called bicurious. But calling me bisexual when I haven't actually done anything with a guy.... that is just lazy labelling.

Any retort you make that isn't addressing that quote is just a straw man argument.

Okay then, let me make this clearer and address the specific quote of mine that you take issue with.
I have never had a same-sex encounter. Until I do, I consider myself straight but bi-curious. I most definitely do not consider myself bisexual or gay. When and if I do try a same-sex encounter, then I will gladly identify as bisexual. Then I will acknowledge having had a gay experience.

Your original question was asking why men like myself are reluctant to accept being called bisexual. I cannot speak for every man who desires cock, but there is my personal answer to your question.

I have provided a speculative answer for others, along with my personal answer as to why I feel this way myself.

You and anyone else can choose to accept that and respect it, or you can choose to label me however you want, I really don't care.

 

[jharp]

A lot of men post on here talking about how much they enjoy or fantasize about getting together with other men and giving and receiving blowjobs and handjobs, having anal sex, and so on, but they insist that they are straight. The word a lot of people would give these feelings and thoughts is "bisexual." Why the reluctance to say that?

P. S.
This is a genuine question, not judgmental and rhetorical.

Straight men don't have these feelings. I'm as straight as an arrow and have no desire to touch another guy or have him touch me. Period. There are guys who entertain such fantasies and are either closet bisexual or Bi Curious. Which is nothing wrong with that. If that's their thing.

Curious though. There was one guy I knew who had Bi curious thoughts, experimented with a gay guy, didn't like it and has been straight ever since. And he has no desire to play with another guy again.

So I would say guys who are curious are in the spectrum of Bisexual.

 

[LauraWilling]

I hope it is okay if a woman jumps in here with a personal opinion and experience with both gay and bi men.

I feel there is a big stigma that straight men worry about and that is being called gay. Insulting or questioning their masculinity And there are those that say there is no such thing as bi. Bi's are just gay men afraid to admit they are gay. I feel both of these is BS! I've known bi me who there was absolutely no question that they were very masculine! And some really rode me hard and put me up wet for sure.

I think having same sex thoughts is normal. Maybe not every man has them nor every woman, but I don't see it as a big deal.To me it is one more item on the menu for anyone to enjoy.

I feel I am primarily a straight woman, but trust me a strong woman or even just the right woman hit on me and she "owns" me for awhile and I love it. And you guys would all likely love watching us and think it is HOT!

So why isn't two or more guys enjoying a BJ or so between each other hot and okay? okay for women and it;s hot, but not okay for men and it is taboo. Does not make any sense to this little bi broad.

 

[Bigaug]

I always considered myself straight but, over the years, I began to understand what bisexual means. My attitude is anything for sex fun

 

[purplepantiesgirl]

Another question

I always considered myself straight but, over the years, I began to understand what bisexual means. My attitude is anything for sex fun

GREAT and honest conversation. I would probably have to admit I’m probably bi. I love women and almost everything about them, probably would love to be one if I could (where’s the genie?) at times. However, I've never looked at a man and thought, “he’s sexy.” When gay porn pops up on an ad, I also never appreciate that. The sight of gay sex doesn’t arouse me at all.

But...giving a blowjob to a man dressed as either sex interests me WHEN IM HORNY. Dressed as a woman, getting fucked by a man sounds amazing. When I’m not horny, nothing gay please.

Try and label that! Fucked up? Gender fluid? Zero idea.

Perhaps the earlier comment is best, why try and label it? We are who we are based on our experiences and whatever else.

 

[AlexGosford]

GREAT and honest conversation. I would probably have to admit I’m probably bi. I love women and almost everything about them, probably would love to be one if I could (where’s the genie?) at times. However, I've never looked at a man and thought, “he’s sexy.” When gay porn pops up on an ad, I also never appreciate that. The sight of gay sex doesn’t arouse me at all.

But...giving a blowjob to a man dressed as either sex interests me WHEN IM HORNY. Dressed as a woman, getting fucked by a man sounds amazing. When I’m not horny, nothing gay please.

Try and label that! Fucked up? Gender fluid? Zero idea.

Perhaps the earlier comment is best, why try and label it? We are who we are based on our experiences and whatever else.

Yes exactly. WHEN I'M HORNY. No desire for a relationship with a guy, don't find guys attractive, can't imagine laying next to one having cum and enjoying that post-coital happiness with him. But cock though!