Story put in a different section

[fargas111]

Hi guys,

I have a question. I submitted my story in the Loving Wives category but I am surprised it has been put in the incest/taboo section.

How can i transfer it to the right section?

The name of the story is "The bad fortune of a poor father"

Thanks

 

[sr71plt]

If it includes an incestuous act, you probably can't. That category trumps Loving Wives. The site editors retain the right of category assignment, and apparently something has come up in your story that equates to incest in their eyes.

If you disagree, resubmit the story with "Edit" at the end of the title line and your argument for where you want it placed in the "Notes" box at the bottom of the submissions page.

 

[fargas111]

Thank You!!!

 

[fargas111]

I have submitted a request to transfer it to "Loving Wives". I also submitted Ch. 02 and included a note that I want it to be also in the "Loving Wives" category. But the second chapter was rejected because "Out of respect for readers, all stories with incest sexual situations must be placed in the Incest category."

My story doesn't contain any sexual relations between the son and the mother. The son watches his mother with his friend. I tried to explain that... Maybe the editors are seeing the reference to the woman as the mother so they thought it had incest elements.

What do you think I should do?

 

[sr71plt]

My story doesn't contain any sexual relations between the son and the mother. The son watches his mother with his friend. I tried to explain that... Maybe the editors are seeing the reference to the woman as the mother so they thought it had incest elements.

Watched to what purpose/effect (without trying to kid anyone you aren't after an effect you're after)? Voyeurism is a sexual act.

 

[Sanichi]

Hi fargas111,

If you want posters to read your story, you should post a link:

"Bad Fortune of a Poor Father Ch. 01"

There is no incest in the story (not even voyeurism) so it's little wonder you want out of the category when commenters complain at the lack of it. If you want the story in another category, resubmit as sr71plt suggests, but change the logline: "A son watches his father defeated as his mother is seduced." That is the effect of the story, not its subject. (A rich, careless young man seduces a farmer's unfulfilled wife.) Confusion has arisen here because you say the son "watches" his mother and her lover, where in fact he discovers the infidelity and intervenes violently. The story has dramatic overtones with bastard children and attempted murder, rampant lust and acts of revenge. With its overheated couplings between a 20- and 40-year-old it might fit in Mature?

I think if the story as it is goes into Loving Wives, apart from the inevitable comments on grammar, you will get a kicking. More than the comments already, that is, e.g.: "I hope Khaled rapes and kills Mansoor's mom in front of him then kills his two half brothers in front of his mom then rapes and impregnates her and never sees her again. Fuck this..." That's one without personal abuse.

She is the cheatingest of cheating wives - the stud lover has fathered two babies that her husband toils in the fields to clothe and feed. Rabid they will be.

Regardless of category, the story shows severe problems in style. I have to assume English is not your first language because of the often strange form of words. Punctuation is lacking. Descriptions are repetitive. You have vocal exchanges in the same paragraph, that makes it unclear who is speaking, or subjects become confused: "his friend Khaled came to the room. Seeing him, he said he wanted to take a shower." There are one or two instances of description in dialogue, and of speech without quotes. "I like the woman that is mature and has experience... in life (he insinuated in bed)" - if it's inside the quote marks, it's words spoken by the character. "Wow man. You must be really getting chicks with that, pointing at his Mansoor's huge phallus"

An editor could clean up tense shifts: "She became very hot and hurries into the room to get fucked." Some things appear lost in translation: "Catching his cock over the drapes, Khaled saw a big log shaking but did not believe his eyes."

Aside from the sometimes ludicrous sexual descriptions ("At each thrust, she could sense him knocking on her cervix door") characters are one-dimensional, particularly in the depiction of the wife with an insatiable itch for 12 inches of cock, that makes it hard to believe in anything going on between them, or care.

There are interesting themes here, in the rapacious young man with his 300 conquests against faithful hard-working Youssef, reluctant to have sex with his wife for fear of more mouths to feed. What is sex for? You could draw greater parallels if Mansoor and Khaled were brothers, one gifted the opportunity to be a success in the city where the other was tied to the soil.

Ironically, I suspect if you change Mansoor to be the son of Najibi, using his "super extra huge dongle" in place of poor impotent Youssef, draining her milky tits dry and blowing fruitful baby batter into his lustful mother's womb, then without changing anything else the story would become a big hit right there in Incest/Taboo.

 

[PacoFear]

More or less the same assessment I provided fargas with here.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Oh, fargas, be real.

Lit wants to be here for eons and, as such, must make sure it's not exposed in any way to accuasations of underage sex.

They give a long rein to the incest cat, but pedophilia in any form is toally unacceptable - for more reasons than just legal .

 

[Sanichi]

More or less the same assessment I provided fargas with here.

Yes, indeed. I should check the pool before diving in. Although, at this time, fargas hasn't replied to any of his several threads.

Oh, fargas, be real.

Lit wants to be here for eons and, as such, must make sure it's not exposed in any way to accuasations of underage sex.

They give a long rein to the incest cat, but pedophilia in any form is toally unacceptable - for more reasons than just legal .

The son is 20. It says so on the first line. There is NO incest.

 

[CopperSkink]

Yet another cry of "pedophilia" in the same breath as "underaged sex".

To begin with, pedophilia is not the act of sex, age or otherwise. It is the significant mental preoccupation with persons aged twelvish and younger more so than persons older whether sex occurs or not. Otherwise you'd have to be prepared to call quite a few people pedophiles for having engaged in sex acts with persons not yet eighteen no matter the circumstance. Having been there myself, I don't feel much like a pedophile considering I was younger than the person in question at the time.

 

[fargas111]

Thank you Paco and Sanichi for your detailed omments.

Concerning the grammar and the style, I think I also find it underwhelming. The issue is I wrote it and never edited it back. It came in chapters as my libido requested

The editors have transferred my first chapter into Loving Wives. I will wait for the second chapter to be online and then file another request for it to be also transferred.

I don't have a problem with negative comments if they are constructive. And for that, I thank you both, Paco and Sanichi

Hope to always get your comments