Story: Lost: The Missing Episode

[ChuckFan90]

Well I haven't updated on this story for a while, however it has now got new threads.

However, I am curious to find out if anybody reads this, and if they do what they think of it.

Also, if anybody wants to contribute, they are more than welcome to submit threads.

My story can be found here:

http://www.chyoo.com/index.php/main.story.cover/4013

 

[deathofcards]

I'm always very cautious when I read stuff on here based on stuff I like.

The character details and descriptions are off and don't even match with the show's events. I don''t recall Jack being 38 or even close to that age. Jack reluctantly assumes a leadership role not takes control because it needs to be done and Jack becoming the leader of the group occurs several episodes into season one.

Why is Charlie described as a hobbit?

Shannon is also repeatedly reffered to as Sharron.

 

[ChuckFan90]

Firstly thank you for the response,

I have corrected all the instances I could find of Shannon being referred to as Sharron. I do realise her name is Shannon, but I think these were just honest mistakes. However, if you do spot anymore could you point to right location?

Charlie being described as “hobbity-fellow” was a joke. However, if this isn’t well received then what would be the point? So for now it will stand as “British guy”.

Jack’s age is debateable, as it was never revealed in the show. However, my work around was to base it on Matthew Fox’s birthday. Since Oceanic Flight 815 crashed in September 2004, and Fox was born July 1966, he was 38 at the time. This didn’t sound too farfetched to me. However, is you another theory I would to hear it.

As to other character details and descriptions, I am unsure about what ones you mean. Could you be more specific?

As to details and timeline of events on the show, I have made attempts to keep them very similar in the story. However, for the instance that you have highlighted, this has been changed.

I hope that you review these changes, and give me further feedback.

 

[deathofcards]

Jack's year of birth is stated to be around 1969-1970. In the threads relating to Jack what you have written does not match the actual flow of events in the first season.

Jack very reluctantly assumes a leadership role in the first season. You describe it almost like a planned coup and that he takes on this role in the pilot. Jack doesn't actually assume this role until around White Rabbit.

Charlie's actually not that short either. As he's of average height really and 25. And maybe this being pedantic due to being English. But simply a British person? That doesn't actually describe much really. Mancunian is a better possibility.

A minor issue is the flow of events. As while the threads relating to Jack a the POV character clearly start at the Pilot but for other characters such as Kate it just randomly jumps forward with no suggestion at which point her thread starts beyond a few random references. Charlie's thread also is effected in the same way The Moth is the seventh episode yet there isn't any suggestion of chronology of the episodes in your story.

I can understand wanting to provide a range of characters from the show to follow but Desmond and Juliet seem like odd choices. To someone who isn't aware of the show they could just assume they are characters from the first series as again it's not pointed at what stage in the timeline of the show they appear in your story.

As the choice of those characters seems odd when other series one characters have been ignored. Such as Ana Lucia which unfortunatly you've spelled as Luica. As it doesn't mention well why the three survivors are trusted or even mentions other members of the tail section as such it almost implies she is on her own.

Then there's the Sawyer thread. While yes James Ford is his real name.... but you don't mention that he in the first series on island refers to himself soley as Sawyer and keeps his real name hidden. And the option leading off from that is who do you mock next. Yet , you don't mention this part of Sawyer's personality in his thread or why he would be willing to let the doctor die or even that that's reffering to Jack.

These are the kind of details I mean. A minor final point if it's called the missing episode then why does it only feature events from the series?

 

[ChuckFan90]

I thank you for your further feedback; I have taken it in to consideration and have currently made amends to some of the threads you have mentioned. The most changes were done to Desmond and Juliet starters.

The reason I have included these two as they are very different characters to the others. This I felt would mean that their threads would be something that would not feel to similar to the others.

As for the Kate thread, “Head to the caves for some water” was not written by me. I was originally going to start her thread much closer to the start of the series likes Jacks. Unfortunately, I cannot edit that part and therefore that particular route will have stay ambiguous. However, another route may be built with a clearer structure in the future. Whether by someone else or I.

 

[deathofcards]

The biggest problem with writing a fanfic about Lost or to the most extent writing any fanfiction is capturing and maintaining the tone of the original work.

With Lost it's where to start. Even from the outset it had a large cast of characters. The pilot itself featured around 15 different characters and technically if you factor in 815 characters who appeared later there's also people like Nikki & Paolo, Frogut, Arzt etc.

Then there's that someone coming across the story may not be familar with Lost and could assume characters from later seasons mentioned early could be characters who were there from the beginning. One of things I've noticed is Locke being randomly mentioned in the Charlie path but there is mention of Locke elsewhere.

I'm also curious where Ana-Lucia ethnicity came from as I don't recall it ever being mentioned that she was anything but an American Latina. Rodriguez herself is of the ethnicity you mention but I don't recall that being the case of the character. As you seem to draw reference from the actor itself when there are gaps.