Story feedback apprecated

[Panthers70]

Story feedback appreciated

Hi everyone

I’ve just had my first story published and would appreciate some feedback but there are a couple of important points I would like you to be aware of before I continue.

1)The event that triggers the sexual awakening of the main character starts off as a rape so if that genre is not to your taste please do not read it.

2) The writing style is definitely porno rather than arty so again if that does not appeal to you please do not read it.

Ok for any of you still with me the story is called The Awakening of Amy Ch.01

Link: https://www.literotica.com/s/the-awakening-of-amy-ch-01

Do you think it’s worth continuing with future instalments? I have Ch.02 mapped out and a rough sketch of how Ch.03 will go but if anyone has any ideas of sexual situations they would like to see Amy in please let me know.

Thanks, and looking forward to your feedback.

 

[LoquiSordidaAdMe]

You clearly have talent, and the fact that you are asking for feedback shows a desire to improve, so I'm going to offer my honest opinion even though it may sting a bit. It's offered with helpful intentions.

It's not bad, but it's not particularly original either. There are probably ten thousand other stories on Lit just like this one, except for the fact that your assailant is Pakistani. Find a way to play that up to make your story stand out.

Your title character, Amy, is two dimensional. We know nothing about her beyond hair color, skin tone, and measurements. There is absolutely no reason for me to care what happens to her. Unfortunately, that is also incredibly common in this kind if story. Give us a reason to sympathize with Amy.

That said, the writing itself is really good. It's fast paced and clear with solid grammar and a broad enough vocabulary. So full marks for your skill as a writer. I just wish you had an original story to tell.

Is it worthy if a follow-up? In my opinion, no, unless Chapter 2 can break out of the cliche and do something unique. But don't stop writing. You're good enough, you just need a story that's worthy of your talent.