dr_mabeuse
seduce the mind
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2002
- Posts
- 11,528
This is the opening for a story I'm working on. Thankfully, it's not that long. I'll meet you with questions at the bottom.
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The Arrangement
Natalia quickly finished her tea and put her cup in the sink, then cast a glance over her shoulder at the kitchen clock: 6:45 PM. Ina should be here any minute.
She washed out the cup and spoon and saucer and gave them a quick dry, then cleaned out the sink with the sponge, her ear cocked for the sound of Ina’s horn. She didn’t want to leave the place a mess for Stephen to find when he got in. It was his home after all, and even though they got along famously, she’d still only been boarding here for a little over a month,. She still felt like she was on probation, and so she treated the place like it was her own.
It probably hadn’t been a good idea to stop home after her stint at Vael & Dennison. Normally she would have taken the bus right to the bookstore, but Ina had the car tonight and Natalia had really wanted to change her shoes and grab something to eat. That fact that Stephen had a date tonight and she wanted to see what he looked like before he left really had nothing to do with it. She’d missed him anyhow, and she didn’t even seem to care, which made her feel better. That told her that she really had just been curious. Jealousy had nothing to do with it.
She swept the table for stray crumbs from her toast and jelly, shook the towel out in the sink, then folded it and hung it over the rack. She untied the silly apron and folded it over the towel, then smoothed her gray wool skirt down over her thighs. She straightened the sugar bowl on the table and spruced up the little bunch of violets Stephen had brought home yesterday, and there was Ina’s old Ford honking outside.
November in Chicago was dark enough for her to use the kitchen window as a mirror, and she checked her hair and lipstick and wondered again whether that was really the face of a sales girl rather than of the professional psychologist she’d been back home, Associate Director of the Krakow Psychiatric Hospital Number Four. There was no use thinking about that now, or the worthlessness of her credentials in her new country, so she turned off the lights and headed down to the hall closet for her coat. It wouldn’t do to dwell on the past. She’d known exactly what she was getting herself into when she’d come over here last year, and giving into regret was the surest way to lose your grip on this precarious life. She knew. She’d seen it happen to others. It wouldn’t happen to her.
She slipped on her coat and fluffed her hair over the collar, buttoned it up and threw a scarf around her neck. She picked up her purse and opened the door, and there was Ina, lounging with extravagant insouciance against the wall, a sly smile on her thin lips. Her hair was cut short and dyed a bright, unnatural black to hide the gray. It didn’t look good on a woman of her years.
“Surprise!” she said. “No work tonight.”
“What are you talking about?”
Ina held out her cell phone and flipped it open like a Police badge. “Didn’t you get the message? The idiots are still doing inventory, so Remner has the day people working the night shift. Seniority, you know. You and me and the rest of the night crew are out on our asses. Want to go get drunk with me?”
“No one told me.”
“You don’t have a cell phone. You really should get one, you know. Thirty dollars a month won’t kill you. Can I come in?”
Because Ina had been here for almost five years now, she considered herself an expert on the ins and outs of American life and Natalia’s thriftiness was a constant source of amusement to her, all the more so since Ina’s husband had recently informed her that he had decided to stay in Poland and that he had no desire to emigrate. Ina took the news better than most, her only reaction being to take all the money she'd saved up and spend as recklessly and selfishly as she could, just for spite. Hence the dye job and the large gold earrings and the knee-length leather coat, that in Natalia's opinion really didn't look that good on Ina’s short and stocky frame.
Natalia stepped back from the door. “Yes, of course. Come in. I’m sorry.”
“Is he here?” Ina stepped into the room glancing around.
“No, he went out.” Realizing she was being unduly familiar, she corrected herself. “You mean Mr. Karnow? No.”
Ina laughed. “You can save the act, Talia. I know how it goes. Now what’s happening between you two? Any progress?”
Natalia made a face as she hung her coat up. “Yes, he’s asked me to be his sex slave and bear his love child. Would you like to see the dungeon where he keeps his other women?”
“Go ahead, joke.”
Natalia laughed. “Come on back. I’ll make us some tea.”
“Tea? No wine? No brandy?”
“Tea.”
Ina followed her back to the kitchen, her eyes shrewdly appraising the furniture and pictures on the wall as they walked through the darkened house.
“You laugh, but Lizabeta still has her net out for your Mr. Karnow. He's professional, single, he does all right, and he needs someone. You shouldn’t think you’re too good for him either Talia, not when he’s interested. You’re still a catch. Didn’t he take you out to dinner last week?”
“Yes, and it was a lovely time. We discussed his latest girlfriend.” Natalia turned on the kitchen light, put the kettle in the sink and started running water. “I told you, Ina, we’re just friends. He’s a very nice man but old enough to be my father. And besides….”
"I know," Ina interrupted. "You're engaged."
Natalia looked at her and Ina shrugged it off.
“No offence, Talia, but your Petros is probably fucking his ass off right now with some Krakow whore. There’s no wedding ring made that can stretch across the ocean, and that goes double for an engagement band, which I see you still haven’t even received.”
Natalia felt the bare spot on her third finger as she set the kettle on the burner.
“When Petros comes over, he’ll give it to me.”
Ina rolled her eyes. “The day Petros comes over will be the day I find engagement rings growing out of my ass.”
Natalia looked at her and Ina retreated. “All right, all right. You’ll be happily married and living in a mansion with children and I’ll still be selling books. Petros will get rich installing windows, I know it.”
Ina sat down at the table and Natalia got a cup from the pantry for her. She took her own cup and saucer out of the dish rack and put them on the table. There was no sense in dirtying a clean cup. She got down the tea and put a bag in each cup.
“You heard about your neighbor’s boarder? The Bonkowski girl?”
Natalia shook her head and Ina wiggled her bottom on the chair in anticipation. “She ran off with that Spanish mechanic. That boy with the tattoos and the loud car.”
“Gina? Gina Bonkowski? You’re joking!”
“I wish I were. She took all her things. Didn’t leave anything behind but a note.”
Natalia was shocked. She knew the young lady. She’d come over from Gdansk some years before and was taking courses so she could enroll in medical school. She knew the people Gina boarded with too—the Bauers, an older couple and childless, lovely people, but perhaps too old to keep tabs on an energetic young woman like Gina.
The kettle began to sing and Natalia poured boiling water into both cups. “I don’t believe it! How could that be? She had such a brilliant future before her.”
Ina smiled wickedly. “I tell you, it’s a different world over here, Talia. Everyone fucks everyone and no one thinks twice about it. I hear stories like this every day, every day.”
“But to throw away her future! And the Bauers? They loved her like a daughter.”
“A daughter can’t break your heart? And besides, what did she owe them? They were paid. Just like your Mr. Karnow gets paid. You pay him and the Polish Alliance pays them. They do just fine off us.”
“Well of course they get paid. We’re staying in their homes.”
“And sometimes they get paid in more than money too, eh?” Ina stirred her tea and sucked the spoon, waiting for Natalia’s reaction.
“Forget it Ina. I’m not fucking him, if that’s what you want to hear.”
Ina shrugged. “It’s none of my business if you were, but it wouldn’t be the first time a girl slept with her sponsor. Wouldn’t be anywhere near the first time. It often works out quite well, and what’s the harm?”
Natalia set down a saucer for the used tea bags and sat down at the table.
“I have a very good arrangement here and I’m not going to screw it up, Ina. Stephen is a very nice man and we’ve developed a real friendship, and I just thank God I found this place after that nightmare at the Pelowskis—three people in a room and only one bathroom. He charges me very little rent and all I have to do is keep the place neat, and at last I have some real peace and privacy. Things are good just as they are"
Ina smiled, gratified at the show of emotion. "Natalia, you may be fooling yourself but you're not fooling me. You could live anywhere you wanted. You don't have to board. Liza told me she offered you your own room in her place with Marta and you turned them down."
"Why should I live with a bunch of women? I like it here. Milk?"
"Yes, you like it here. With a man." Ina smiled and pushed her cup forward. “No milk, but I’ll take some brandy. If we’re not working tonight I’m going to go out to the White Eagle. Want to come?”
“No. That’s the last thing I want. And there is no brandy.”
Ina made a sound of disbelief. “Then vodka. Or wine. You’re not going to tell me you don’t have your own liquor?”
Natalia shook her head and Ina laughed in disbelief.
“Every girl has a bottle or two around, Talia, so don’t give me that. I know what it’s like when you’re too tired to sleep at night and toss and turn and think about home and your man. Believe me, I know.”
Natalia stared at her for a moment and saw that Ina wasn’t going to back down.
“There’s scotch.”
Ina laughed in triumph. “There! See? I knew it. Scotch will do. I'm not fussy."
Natalia got up and went to her room and came back with the half-empty bottle of Grant’s. She put it on the table and Ina poured a healthy slug in her cup, tasted it, and sighed in approval.
“Believe me, Talia, I’ve been over here five years now. I’ve seen them come and go and I know all the tricks, all the angles. You think your Mr. Karnow is so nice and such a friend, but you’re a fool if you don’t take what you can get out of it. You’re a good looking woman and still young—long legs, skinny like men like, nice ass—but no one’s going to give you anything just because of your looks. Your sponsor’s a man, and all men are alike. You want to stay on his good side, you think about what I’m saying. He doesn’t have you living here just to wash the floors and make tea.”
Ina took a good gulp of her drink and smacked her lips. “Now,” she smiled, “Show me your bedroom and I'll bet I can find where he’s drilled his peepholes in your walls.”
* * *
After Ina left, Natalia put the cups in sink. She showered and put on her pajamas and robe and made some canned soup and crackers for dinner, then went into the living room with a book. The change in her routine left her restless and uncertain.
She poured herself a glass of wine (Ina had been more right than she knew) and drank it, and had just sat down with another when the door opened. It was ten o’clock.
“Hi,” Stephen said sheepishly. “I thought you’d be at work.”
“No. They didn’t want us tonight. But what happened with you? I thought you were seeing Vanessa tonight.”
“Jessica,” he corrected. “Yes. I did. She didn’t want to go to the movies though. She had other plans, and she…uh…she works fast.” He gave her an embarrassed grin.
Natalia laughed. “You poor man. Seduced again?”
He laughed off his embarrassment, but his pleasure at seeing her was genuine, and his happiness made her smile. The women he saw took shameless advantage of him, and she didn't know why he put up with them.
He hung his coat up and asked, “Is there any dinner left? I’m starved.”
“Oh? I didn't cook. I just had some soup.”
“You didn’t eat the fish?” he sounded concerned. “I brought it just for you.”
“I wasn’t very hungry. I thought I’d make it for dinner tomorrow.”
“Why don’t you do it now?” he asked. “Or were you going to bed?”
“No,” she smiled. “No, I’m not tired at all.”
“Good. I'll help. I could use some company.”
He opened a bottle of his wine and Natalia cooked as he sat at the table and they talked. On other nights, she might sit and he would cook, but these late-night kitchen sessions had become a regular routine and, she realized now, had taken on an air of comfortable domesticity that she especially enjoyed. They worked well together and fell easily and naturally into complimentary roles with hardly a word being spoken. She cooked, he sliced. She made the noodles, he set the table. It was effortless and automatic.
Still, she thought as she drank her wine, there can’t be anything wrong with that. That’s what friends do, and if it hadn’t been for Ina, she would probably have never noticed the way they operated as a couple as if by default. She wondered if it showed to other people too, if Ina had noticed, or if people commented on them when they went out. She wondered if people already thought they were sleeping together.
She told him about the Bonkowski girl as they ate and he was as shocked as she'd been. His innocent inquiry as to whether she’d heard from Petros lately caught her by surprise, but she managed to keep the smile on her face and only her ears grew warm as she just said “no” with appropriate casualness. She hid her face in her wine. He told her about his problems with Mrs. Kranski and she was suitably sympathetic.
It was always the same. The women were aggressive—widows mostly, that he met through his charitable work with the Polish Alliance—and Stephen's bachelor defenses were no match for their schemes. The best—like Vanessa tonight—were really only interested in sex; the worst had their hooks out for him and fed him and mothered him and inserted themselves into his life in ways that sometimes made Natalia get involved in his defense. She looked out for him like a big sister.
He was telling her now about Vanessa's habit of groping him in public.
“Then why do you go out with her if you don’t like her?” she asked.
He was at the sink, struggling with the second bottle of wine. He looked up at her. “Come on, Natalia. Why do men go out with women they don’t especially like?”
“But Stephen, you’re not like that. Are you?”
He pulled the cork and winced. It had broken and a piece had fallen into the bottle.
“Don’t give me so much credit,” he said, filling her glass. “I’m really not looking for a long term relationship any more. In fact, that’s the last thing I want. I just some companionship and human warmth.” He filled his own glass. “You know what I mean?”
She laughed. “Human warmth? If that means what I think it does, it’s an expression I’ve never heard before.”
He smiled grimly. “It does. The three-letter word with the x on the end.”
Natalia smiled and shook her head.
He looked up at her and got defensive. “What? You asked me and I told you. I’m not going to deny it, and I’m always upfront about it. I just wish it didn't always have to be so damned complicated. I mean, I’m not lying to these women or leading them on. They know exactly what’s what. That’s the one good thing about being my age. You can be upfront about things. You don’t have time to screw around like when you’re younger.”
"And so sitting through Mrs. Nodell's pierogi is how a smooth operator works? Really, Stephen, you're like dough in their hands."
He made a sour face and took a big gulp of his wine, drinking it like water and rocking his chair back on its rear legs.
“It’s silly, sex is, I mean," he said. "Really, it’s just like every so often you have to release some pressure, that’s all.” He laughed. “They should make a machine. I’d buy one.”
Natalia chose to ignore this last statement. She leaned her elbow on the table and put her chin in her hand. “And what’s so wrong with a long term relationship? Does that scare you?”
He made a face. “I’m an old bachelor, Natalia. It’s too late for me to change my ways. I like my freedom.”
She sighed and stood up, took the plates and carried them to the sink. An idea came to her then, a foolish idea, but she said nothing.
Stephen stood up and, mistaking her silence for concern over his woman problems, said, “It’s not so bad. In the end they get what they want and I get what I want, I suppose, so it’s not so bad. It’s just part of the price of being male. Every so often you need to release some steam.”
She wished he wouldn't use those mechanical analogies. They bothered her.
"You should come to me next time," she said. She heard herself say it.
She could hear his stunned silence.
She turned around and faced him. The words were out now and she owuldn't bak down. “Seriously. I live here, I take care of your house, I have no social life of my own. Why shouldn’t we? I mean, we're adults. You do find me attractive enough? Or do I flatter myself?”
“Attractive? Of course I find you attractive, but Natalia…”
“But what? We’re not children giggling behind our hands about sex. We’re good friends. Why shouldn’t we? It’s not like we’re going to fall in love or any of that nonsense. If we keep emotions entirely out of this, why can’t we?”
“But what about Petros?”
“What about him?”
She stared at him, her face blank, saying nothing, and he understood enough to look away. Petros was a third of a world away in space, and who knew how much in emotion. Natalia turned back to the sink and started washing dishes again. She was embarrassed now and her discomfort made her stubborn.
“In any case, it’s just a suggestion," she said. "I just hate to see you so unhappy with these women. After all, I’m right here. I have something you need, and I don’t happen to be using it myself right now…”
He laughed uncertainly. “You’re serious?”
She wasn’t so sure now, but she could hardly withdraw her offer. She smiled. “I wouldn’t joke, Stephen.”
He came over and picked up a towel and started to dry the dishes.
“It does make a weird kind of sense,” he said. “No one would get hurt, we wouldn’t get involved emotionally… You’re sure you’re serious?”
She laughed and looked at him. “You men have to make such a big deal out of it. It’s all so simple really, isn’t it? I mean, when you stop to think about it?”
Stephen thought about it. He dried a glass and placed it in the rack.
“Yes. Yes, I suppose it is.”
* * *
(End of Excerpt)
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(I know. The opening sucks. It;'s that same line-of-action followed by exposition I was just railing against in the character introduction thread.)
I guess I should tell you what this is about.
These two people think they can have a sexual relationship without feeling or affection or jeopardizing the relationship they have now. Why not? they figure. They're intelligent people, mature, and sex is relatively simple.
They make all these rules about no kissing, no shows of affection, no touching except for the genitals, and silliness like that, and of course, it doesn't work at all. They develop deep feelings for each other.
What I'm going to concentrate on is the perverse eroticism of having to repress your feelings of affection and emotion during sex and try and make it a matter of friction only.
My questions have to do with whether you believe she might make the offer she does. Does her motivation come across as understandable and believable? Does his?
If not, why not?
Also, any general comments would be appreciated, as always.
Thanks in advance for your help.
--Zoot
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The Arrangement
Natalia quickly finished her tea and put her cup in the sink, then cast a glance over her shoulder at the kitchen clock: 6:45 PM. Ina should be here any minute.
She washed out the cup and spoon and saucer and gave them a quick dry, then cleaned out the sink with the sponge, her ear cocked for the sound of Ina’s horn. She didn’t want to leave the place a mess for Stephen to find when he got in. It was his home after all, and even though they got along famously, she’d still only been boarding here for a little over a month,. She still felt like she was on probation, and so she treated the place like it was her own.
It probably hadn’t been a good idea to stop home after her stint at Vael & Dennison. Normally she would have taken the bus right to the bookstore, but Ina had the car tonight and Natalia had really wanted to change her shoes and grab something to eat. That fact that Stephen had a date tonight and she wanted to see what he looked like before he left really had nothing to do with it. She’d missed him anyhow, and she didn’t even seem to care, which made her feel better. That told her that she really had just been curious. Jealousy had nothing to do with it.
She swept the table for stray crumbs from her toast and jelly, shook the towel out in the sink, then folded it and hung it over the rack. She untied the silly apron and folded it over the towel, then smoothed her gray wool skirt down over her thighs. She straightened the sugar bowl on the table and spruced up the little bunch of violets Stephen had brought home yesterday, and there was Ina’s old Ford honking outside.
November in Chicago was dark enough for her to use the kitchen window as a mirror, and she checked her hair and lipstick and wondered again whether that was really the face of a sales girl rather than of the professional psychologist she’d been back home, Associate Director of the Krakow Psychiatric Hospital Number Four. There was no use thinking about that now, or the worthlessness of her credentials in her new country, so she turned off the lights and headed down to the hall closet for her coat. It wouldn’t do to dwell on the past. She’d known exactly what she was getting herself into when she’d come over here last year, and giving into regret was the surest way to lose your grip on this precarious life. She knew. She’d seen it happen to others. It wouldn’t happen to her.
She slipped on her coat and fluffed her hair over the collar, buttoned it up and threw a scarf around her neck. She picked up her purse and opened the door, and there was Ina, lounging with extravagant insouciance against the wall, a sly smile on her thin lips. Her hair was cut short and dyed a bright, unnatural black to hide the gray. It didn’t look good on a woman of her years.
“Surprise!” she said. “No work tonight.”
“What are you talking about?”
Ina held out her cell phone and flipped it open like a Police badge. “Didn’t you get the message? The idiots are still doing inventory, so Remner has the day people working the night shift. Seniority, you know. You and me and the rest of the night crew are out on our asses. Want to go get drunk with me?”
“No one told me.”
“You don’t have a cell phone. You really should get one, you know. Thirty dollars a month won’t kill you. Can I come in?”
Because Ina had been here for almost five years now, she considered herself an expert on the ins and outs of American life and Natalia’s thriftiness was a constant source of amusement to her, all the more so since Ina’s husband had recently informed her that he had decided to stay in Poland and that he had no desire to emigrate. Ina took the news better than most, her only reaction being to take all the money she'd saved up and spend as recklessly and selfishly as she could, just for spite. Hence the dye job and the large gold earrings and the knee-length leather coat, that in Natalia's opinion really didn't look that good on Ina’s short and stocky frame.
Natalia stepped back from the door. “Yes, of course. Come in. I’m sorry.”
“Is he here?” Ina stepped into the room glancing around.
“No, he went out.” Realizing she was being unduly familiar, she corrected herself. “You mean Mr. Karnow? No.”
Ina laughed. “You can save the act, Talia. I know how it goes. Now what’s happening between you two? Any progress?”
Natalia made a face as she hung her coat up. “Yes, he’s asked me to be his sex slave and bear his love child. Would you like to see the dungeon where he keeps his other women?”
“Go ahead, joke.”
Natalia laughed. “Come on back. I’ll make us some tea.”
“Tea? No wine? No brandy?”
“Tea.”
Ina followed her back to the kitchen, her eyes shrewdly appraising the furniture and pictures on the wall as they walked through the darkened house.
“You laugh, but Lizabeta still has her net out for your Mr. Karnow. He's professional, single, he does all right, and he needs someone. You shouldn’t think you’re too good for him either Talia, not when he’s interested. You’re still a catch. Didn’t he take you out to dinner last week?”
“Yes, and it was a lovely time. We discussed his latest girlfriend.” Natalia turned on the kitchen light, put the kettle in the sink and started running water. “I told you, Ina, we’re just friends. He’s a very nice man but old enough to be my father. And besides….”
"I know," Ina interrupted. "You're engaged."
Natalia looked at her and Ina shrugged it off.
“No offence, Talia, but your Petros is probably fucking his ass off right now with some Krakow whore. There’s no wedding ring made that can stretch across the ocean, and that goes double for an engagement band, which I see you still haven’t even received.”
Natalia felt the bare spot on her third finger as she set the kettle on the burner.
“When Petros comes over, he’ll give it to me.”
Ina rolled her eyes. “The day Petros comes over will be the day I find engagement rings growing out of my ass.”
Natalia looked at her and Ina retreated. “All right, all right. You’ll be happily married and living in a mansion with children and I’ll still be selling books. Petros will get rich installing windows, I know it.”
Ina sat down at the table and Natalia got a cup from the pantry for her. She took her own cup and saucer out of the dish rack and put them on the table. There was no sense in dirtying a clean cup. She got down the tea and put a bag in each cup.
“You heard about your neighbor’s boarder? The Bonkowski girl?”
Natalia shook her head and Ina wiggled her bottom on the chair in anticipation. “She ran off with that Spanish mechanic. That boy with the tattoos and the loud car.”
“Gina? Gina Bonkowski? You’re joking!”
“I wish I were. She took all her things. Didn’t leave anything behind but a note.”
Natalia was shocked. She knew the young lady. She’d come over from Gdansk some years before and was taking courses so she could enroll in medical school. She knew the people Gina boarded with too—the Bauers, an older couple and childless, lovely people, but perhaps too old to keep tabs on an energetic young woman like Gina.
The kettle began to sing and Natalia poured boiling water into both cups. “I don’t believe it! How could that be? She had such a brilliant future before her.”
Ina smiled wickedly. “I tell you, it’s a different world over here, Talia. Everyone fucks everyone and no one thinks twice about it. I hear stories like this every day, every day.”
“But to throw away her future! And the Bauers? They loved her like a daughter.”
“A daughter can’t break your heart? And besides, what did she owe them? They were paid. Just like your Mr. Karnow gets paid. You pay him and the Polish Alliance pays them. They do just fine off us.”
“Well of course they get paid. We’re staying in their homes.”
“And sometimes they get paid in more than money too, eh?” Ina stirred her tea and sucked the spoon, waiting for Natalia’s reaction.
“Forget it Ina. I’m not fucking him, if that’s what you want to hear.”
Ina shrugged. “It’s none of my business if you were, but it wouldn’t be the first time a girl slept with her sponsor. Wouldn’t be anywhere near the first time. It often works out quite well, and what’s the harm?”
Natalia set down a saucer for the used tea bags and sat down at the table.
“I have a very good arrangement here and I’m not going to screw it up, Ina. Stephen is a very nice man and we’ve developed a real friendship, and I just thank God I found this place after that nightmare at the Pelowskis—three people in a room and only one bathroom. He charges me very little rent and all I have to do is keep the place neat, and at last I have some real peace and privacy. Things are good just as they are"
Ina smiled, gratified at the show of emotion. "Natalia, you may be fooling yourself but you're not fooling me. You could live anywhere you wanted. You don't have to board. Liza told me she offered you your own room in her place with Marta and you turned them down."
"Why should I live with a bunch of women? I like it here. Milk?"
"Yes, you like it here. With a man." Ina smiled and pushed her cup forward. “No milk, but I’ll take some brandy. If we’re not working tonight I’m going to go out to the White Eagle. Want to come?”
“No. That’s the last thing I want. And there is no brandy.”
Ina made a sound of disbelief. “Then vodka. Or wine. You’re not going to tell me you don’t have your own liquor?”
Natalia shook her head and Ina laughed in disbelief.
“Every girl has a bottle or two around, Talia, so don’t give me that. I know what it’s like when you’re too tired to sleep at night and toss and turn and think about home and your man. Believe me, I know.”
Natalia stared at her for a moment and saw that Ina wasn’t going to back down.
“There’s scotch.”
Ina laughed in triumph. “There! See? I knew it. Scotch will do. I'm not fussy."
Natalia got up and went to her room and came back with the half-empty bottle of Grant’s. She put it on the table and Ina poured a healthy slug in her cup, tasted it, and sighed in approval.
“Believe me, Talia, I’ve been over here five years now. I’ve seen them come and go and I know all the tricks, all the angles. You think your Mr. Karnow is so nice and such a friend, but you’re a fool if you don’t take what you can get out of it. You’re a good looking woman and still young—long legs, skinny like men like, nice ass—but no one’s going to give you anything just because of your looks. Your sponsor’s a man, and all men are alike. You want to stay on his good side, you think about what I’m saying. He doesn’t have you living here just to wash the floors and make tea.”
Ina took a good gulp of her drink and smacked her lips. “Now,” she smiled, “Show me your bedroom and I'll bet I can find where he’s drilled his peepholes in your walls.”
* * *
After Ina left, Natalia put the cups in sink. She showered and put on her pajamas and robe and made some canned soup and crackers for dinner, then went into the living room with a book. The change in her routine left her restless and uncertain.
She poured herself a glass of wine (Ina had been more right than she knew) and drank it, and had just sat down with another when the door opened. It was ten o’clock.
“Hi,” Stephen said sheepishly. “I thought you’d be at work.”
“No. They didn’t want us tonight. But what happened with you? I thought you were seeing Vanessa tonight.”
“Jessica,” he corrected. “Yes. I did. She didn’t want to go to the movies though. She had other plans, and she…uh…she works fast.” He gave her an embarrassed grin.
Natalia laughed. “You poor man. Seduced again?”
He laughed off his embarrassment, but his pleasure at seeing her was genuine, and his happiness made her smile. The women he saw took shameless advantage of him, and she didn't know why he put up with them.
He hung his coat up and asked, “Is there any dinner left? I’m starved.”
“Oh? I didn't cook. I just had some soup.”
“You didn’t eat the fish?” he sounded concerned. “I brought it just for you.”
“I wasn’t very hungry. I thought I’d make it for dinner tomorrow.”
“Why don’t you do it now?” he asked. “Or were you going to bed?”
“No,” she smiled. “No, I’m not tired at all.”
“Good. I'll help. I could use some company.”
He opened a bottle of his wine and Natalia cooked as he sat at the table and they talked. On other nights, she might sit and he would cook, but these late-night kitchen sessions had become a regular routine and, she realized now, had taken on an air of comfortable domesticity that she especially enjoyed. They worked well together and fell easily and naturally into complimentary roles with hardly a word being spoken. She cooked, he sliced. She made the noodles, he set the table. It was effortless and automatic.
Still, she thought as she drank her wine, there can’t be anything wrong with that. That’s what friends do, and if it hadn’t been for Ina, she would probably have never noticed the way they operated as a couple as if by default. She wondered if it showed to other people too, if Ina had noticed, or if people commented on them when they went out. She wondered if people already thought they were sleeping together.
She told him about the Bonkowski girl as they ate and he was as shocked as she'd been. His innocent inquiry as to whether she’d heard from Petros lately caught her by surprise, but she managed to keep the smile on her face and only her ears grew warm as she just said “no” with appropriate casualness. She hid her face in her wine. He told her about his problems with Mrs. Kranski and she was suitably sympathetic.
It was always the same. The women were aggressive—widows mostly, that he met through his charitable work with the Polish Alliance—and Stephen's bachelor defenses were no match for their schemes. The best—like Vanessa tonight—were really only interested in sex; the worst had their hooks out for him and fed him and mothered him and inserted themselves into his life in ways that sometimes made Natalia get involved in his defense. She looked out for him like a big sister.
He was telling her now about Vanessa's habit of groping him in public.
“Then why do you go out with her if you don’t like her?” she asked.
He was at the sink, struggling with the second bottle of wine. He looked up at her. “Come on, Natalia. Why do men go out with women they don’t especially like?”
“But Stephen, you’re not like that. Are you?”
He pulled the cork and winced. It had broken and a piece had fallen into the bottle.
“Don’t give me so much credit,” he said, filling her glass. “I’m really not looking for a long term relationship any more. In fact, that’s the last thing I want. I just some companionship and human warmth.” He filled his own glass. “You know what I mean?”
She laughed. “Human warmth? If that means what I think it does, it’s an expression I’ve never heard before.”
He smiled grimly. “It does. The three-letter word with the x on the end.”
Natalia smiled and shook her head.
He looked up at her and got defensive. “What? You asked me and I told you. I’m not going to deny it, and I’m always upfront about it. I just wish it didn't always have to be so damned complicated. I mean, I’m not lying to these women or leading them on. They know exactly what’s what. That’s the one good thing about being my age. You can be upfront about things. You don’t have time to screw around like when you’re younger.”
"And so sitting through Mrs. Nodell's pierogi is how a smooth operator works? Really, Stephen, you're like dough in their hands."
He made a sour face and took a big gulp of his wine, drinking it like water and rocking his chair back on its rear legs.
“It’s silly, sex is, I mean," he said. "Really, it’s just like every so often you have to release some pressure, that’s all.” He laughed. “They should make a machine. I’d buy one.”
Natalia chose to ignore this last statement. She leaned her elbow on the table and put her chin in her hand. “And what’s so wrong with a long term relationship? Does that scare you?”
He made a face. “I’m an old bachelor, Natalia. It’s too late for me to change my ways. I like my freedom.”
She sighed and stood up, took the plates and carried them to the sink. An idea came to her then, a foolish idea, but she said nothing.
Stephen stood up and, mistaking her silence for concern over his woman problems, said, “It’s not so bad. In the end they get what they want and I get what I want, I suppose, so it’s not so bad. It’s just part of the price of being male. Every so often you need to release some steam.”
She wished he wouldn't use those mechanical analogies. They bothered her.
"You should come to me next time," she said. She heard herself say it.
She could hear his stunned silence.
She turned around and faced him. The words were out now and she owuldn't bak down. “Seriously. I live here, I take care of your house, I have no social life of my own. Why shouldn’t we? I mean, we're adults. You do find me attractive enough? Or do I flatter myself?”
“Attractive? Of course I find you attractive, but Natalia…”
“But what? We’re not children giggling behind our hands about sex. We’re good friends. Why shouldn’t we? It’s not like we’re going to fall in love or any of that nonsense. If we keep emotions entirely out of this, why can’t we?”
“But what about Petros?”
“What about him?”
She stared at him, her face blank, saying nothing, and he understood enough to look away. Petros was a third of a world away in space, and who knew how much in emotion. Natalia turned back to the sink and started washing dishes again. She was embarrassed now and her discomfort made her stubborn.
“In any case, it’s just a suggestion," she said. "I just hate to see you so unhappy with these women. After all, I’m right here. I have something you need, and I don’t happen to be using it myself right now…”
He laughed uncertainly. “You’re serious?”
She wasn’t so sure now, but she could hardly withdraw her offer. She smiled. “I wouldn’t joke, Stephen.”
He came over and picked up a towel and started to dry the dishes.
“It does make a weird kind of sense,” he said. “No one would get hurt, we wouldn’t get involved emotionally… You’re sure you’re serious?”
She laughed and looked at him. “You men have to make such a big deal out of it. It’s all so simple really, isn’t it? I mean, when you stop to think about it?”
Stephen thought about it. He dried a glass and placed it in the rack.
“Yes. Yes, I suppose it is.”
* * *
(End of Excerpt)
=====================
(I know. The opening sucks. It;'s that same line-of-action followed by exposition I was just railing against in the character introduction thread.)
I guess I should tell you what this is about.
These two people think they can have a sexual relationship without feeling or affection or jeopardizing the relationship they have now. Why not? they figure. They're intelligent people, mature, and sex is relatively simple.
They make all these rules about no kissing, no shows of affection, no touching except for the genitals, and silliness like that, and of course, it doesn't work at all. They develop deep feelings for each other.
What I'm going to concentrate on is the perverse eroticism of having to repress your feelings of affection and emotion during sex and try and make it a matter of friction only.
My questions have to do with whether you believe she might make the offer she does. Does her motivation come across as understandable and believable? Does his?
If not, why not?
Also, any general comments would be appreciated, as always.
Thanks in advance for your help.
--Zoot
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