Greetings.
The story I ask your comment on is the first I submitted to Lit. Got a fair number of views (36K) and readers seemed to like it.
As with most first-timers, I built the story from personal experiences and composites. I'll leave it to your imagination where fact segues into fiction.
Here are a handful of questions to start off the discussion.
1. I tried to tell something of the personality of each character through speech and thought. Does it work?
2. Is there a point where you as a reader/critic say to yourself that you are immediately suspending disbelief, or was it gradual enough to pass unnoticed?
3. Did each of the central characters have enough depth that you thought you knew or could know them?
4. I learned that writing sex is easy, writing believable sex is more difficult, and writing sex that is interesting, believable, engaging and meaningful to a reader is quite difficult. What could I have done differently/better?
The piece in question is
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=483656
If the piece engages you, there's also a prequel.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=483981
Critique solicited and welcome.
Thanks for your time and thoughts.
The story I ask your comment on is the first I submitted to Lit. Got a fair number of views (36K) and readers seemed to like it.
As with most first-timers, I built the story from personal experiences and composites. I'll leave it to your imagination where fact segues into fiction.
Here are a handful of questions to start off the discussion.
1. I tried to tell something of the personality of each character through speech and thought. Does it work?
2. Is there a point where you as a reader/critic say to yourself that you are immediately suspending disbelief, or was it gradual enough to pass unnoticed?
3. Did each of the central characters have enough depth that you thought you knew or could know them?
4. I learned that writing sex is easy, writing believable sex is more difficult, and writing sex that is interesting, believable, engaging and meaningful to a reader is quite difficult. What could I have done differently/better?
The piece in question is
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=483656
If the piece engages you, there's also a prequel.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=483981
Critique solicited and welcome.
Thanks for your time and thoughts.