Stories sent back "Dialogue"

[badnews79]

Hi All

My stories are often sent back due to dialogue formatting. Am I alone in this ?

I have read the essay "How to Make Characters Talk" and gone back and reformatted things.
Would someone be willing to look over my story and give some feedback on the dialogue?
I have tried some editors from the volunteer editor list but had no responses.
Thanks

 

[ElectricBlue]

Hi All

My stories are often sent back due to dialogue formatting. Am I alone in this ?

I have read the essay "How to Make Characters Talk" and gone back and reformatted things.
Would someone be willing to look over my story and give some feedback on the dialogue?
I have tried some editors from the volunteer editor list but had no responses.
Thanks

It's a common rejection. Show us a short sample of your dialogue. You're probably coming unstuck on punctuation, or different speakers in the same paragraph. Once you sort out proper punctuation, you'll be fine.

 

[MelissaBaby]

My first submission was rejected in part for poor dialogue formatting. Don't give up, it's usually just a matter of learning the correct punctuation.

 

[ElectricBlue]

yes this is frustrating. I'm starting to think about giving up or removing all the dialogue. Let me know if you find a definitive answer to this

Don't do either of those things. Go look in the FAQs for writing guides, learn basic punctuation, especially for dialogue. Learn the basic technical stuff now, as you're beginning and trust me, it makes writing so much easier when you don't need to think about it.

 

[Voboy]

OP, you've just got to learn how to write dialogue. There's no other way to be a successful writer in any site or any genre.

 

[FrancesScott]

Hi All

My stories are often sent back due to dialogue formatting. Am I alone in this ?

I have read the essay "How to Make Characters Talk" and gone back and reformatted things.
Would someone be willing to look over my story and give some feedback on the dialogue?
I have tried some editors from the volunteer editor list but had no responses.
Thanks

“Hi, OP,” Frances said.

She then added, “It’s not so very complicated to learn proper dialogue punctuation.”

“Trust me,” she continued, “there’s not that much to it.”

Frances wondered to herself how best to illustrate the point she was trying to make. “Hmm… this was tough,” she said under her breath. “Aha! Maybe I could provide some examples of the different cases you might have to deal with.”

 

[FrancesScott]

“Hi, OP,” Frances said.

Simple trailing dialogue tag. Add a comma before the trailing quotation mark. Frances is capitalized as it’s a proper noun. If I had used ‘she’ instead, it wouldn’t be capitalized (see below).

She then added, “It’s not so very complicated to learn proper dialogue punctuation.”

Simple leading dialogue tag. Comma before the opening quotation marks. Capitalize the first word within the quotation marks.

“Trust me,” she continued, “there’s not that much to it.”

Dialogue tag punctuating a single sentence. Comma after tag, second clause within quotation marks doesn’t start with a capital letter as it’s part of the whole sentence.

Frances wondered to herself how best to illustrate the point she was trying to make. “Hmm… this was tough,” she said under her breath. “Aha! Maybe I could provide some examples of the different cases you might have to deal with.”

Compound of the above. Note ‘she said’ isn’t capitalized (as opposed to Frances in the first example). Period after ‘breath’ as it’s the end of one sentence. Capitalize ‘aha!’ as it’s the start of a new one.

Also note that it’s the same speaker within a paragraph. If a second speaker joins the conversation, they get a new paragraph.

Dialogue without tags is fine if it’s clear who is speaking.

“I hope this is helping,” Frances said.

“I guess so.”

“Not really?” asked Frances. “What could I be doing differently?”

Note: although a question mark is equivalent to a period in normal use. If it’s included in quotation marks then a following dialogue tag is not capitalized. Yeah, this one is confusing.

You can also skip formal tags altogether and have dialogue segue into the general text.

“I’ll try to explain this now.” Frances wasn’t sure how good a job she was doing of being a punctuation teacher. She was worried that she’d get something wrong. Still she was doing her best.

Or…

Frances began to think that maybe sticking to simple dialogue is a good idea when a writer is starting out. But how to say this without sounding patronizing? Hmm… “Maybe just focus on the trailing and leading tags for now. You can always branch out later.”

There is also dialogue that spans multiple paragraphs. “Don’t worry about that for now!”

 

[onehitwanda]

Wanda read the examples, and clicked her tongue against her teeth in irritated approval.

"She's so fancy," she muttered, "with those oh-so-gracefully-angled opening and closing quotation marks. I bet she even has the Unicode for a grave memorised."

 

[TheLobster]

"Not bad." Lobster nodded in appreciation. "She clearly put a lot of thought into this. Let's see if we can add anything..."

He quickly scanned through the text. "Oh! Right!" he let out with some excitement. "Questions and exclamations, right?" He nodded again. "Yeah, those can be tricky. But what about --"

He had to pause for a moment, since his fluffy white started scratching the back of his chair, demanding scritches.

"There, there..." He put the unruly feline on his lap. "Alright, what else... Hmm, I could mention dialogues spanning multiple paragraphs but that'd, well, long... But hey, these are just the basics, OP won't need more than this for -- well, maybe ever!"

Content with his contribution, he focused on giving the kitty his scritches.

 

[StrentWriter]

Where was this thread last year when I needed help XD

Great work.

 

[FrancesScott]

Wanda read the examples, and clicked her tongue against her teeth in irritated approval.

"She's so fancy," she muttered, "with those oh-so-gracefully-angled opening and closing quotation marks. I bet she even has the Unicode for a grave memorised."

U+0060

 

[TheLobster]

"Not bad." Lobster nodded in appreciation. "She clearly put a lot of thought into this. Let's see if we can add anything..."

Note that the middle text is NOT a speech tag; it's just an action. The dialogue before is therefore punctuated like a regular sentence and ends with a full stop, not a comma.

I believe confusion of speech tags with this kind of interjected sentences is the main reason for dialogue rejections.

He quickly scanned through the text. "Oh! Right!" he let out with some excitement. "Questions and exclamations, right?" He nodded again. "Yeah, those can be tricky. But what about --"

Pretty self-explanatory. Speech tags start lowercased, even if the dialogue before them ends with an exclamation mark or a question mark.
Note again how He nodded again. is an action, not a speech tag, so that one has to be capitalized.
And finally, the last dialogue is interrupted; em-dash is the typical way of doing it but some people use ellipsis.

"There, there..." He put the unruly feline on his lap. "Alright, what else... Hmm, I could mention dialogues spanning multiple paragraphs but that'd, well, long... But hey, these are just the basics, OP won't need more than this for -- well, maybe ever!"

Nothing really new there, except maybe hinting what you might want to look up (i.e., long speeches where dialogue spans multiple paragraphs).

 

[onehitwanda]

U+0060

A Zoolander scene occurs to me.

 

[SimonDoom]

There might be no better use of a new writer's time than to master the basic rules of writing dialogue. Badly formatted dialogue makes me grit my teeth as a reader, and it can make me stop reading the story.

The rules are few, and most of them are covered by the good examples given above.

 

[FrancesScott]

Simple trailing dialogue tag. Add a comma before the trailing quotation mark. Frances is capitalized as it’s a proper noun. If I had used ‘she’ instead, it wouldn’t be capitalized (see below).

Simple leading dialogue tag. Comma before the opening quotation marks. Capitalize the first word within the quotation marks.

Dialogue tag punctuating a single sentence. Comma after tag, second clause within quotation marks doesn’t start with a capital letter as it’s part of the whole sentence.

Compound of the above. Note ‘she said’ isn’t capitalized (as opposed to Frances in the first example). Period after ‘breath’ as it’s the end of one sentence. Capitalize ‘aha!’ as it’s the start of a new one.

Also note that it’s the same speaker within a paragraph. If a second speaker joins the conversation, they get a new paragraph.

Dialogue without tags is fine if it’s clear who is speaking.

“I hope this is helping,” Frances said.

“I guess so.”

“Not really?” asked Frances. “What could I be doing differently?”

Note: although a question mark is equivalent to a period in normal use. If it’s included in quotation marks then a following dialogue tag is not capitalized. Yeah, this one is confusing.

You can also skip formal tags altogether and have dialogue segue into the general text.

“I’ll try to explain this now.” Frances wasn’t sure how good a job she was doing of being a punctuation teacher. She was worried that she’d get something wrong. Still she was doing her best.

Or…

Frances began to think that maybe sticking to simple dialogue is a good idea when a writer is starting out. But how to say this without sounding patronizing? Hmm… “Maybe just focus on the trailing and leading tags for now. You can always branch out later.”

There is also dialogue that spans multiple paragraphs. “Don’t worry about that for now!”

A final comment on this. If you scanned my stories - and why wouldn’t you? they are awesome! - you’d probably find multiple examples of me screwing up with correct punctuation of dialogue. We all do that.

But there is a difference between occasional typos and systematically ignoring punctuation conventions. I suspect it’s only the latter which provokes rejections.

And this isn’t some stifling creativity thing. It’s about making your text easy to read. There are enough reasons for a reader to click away as it is, poor formatting of dialogue is one that can be avoided with a little bit of effort.

 

[SimonDoom]

Simple trailing dialogue tag. Add a comma before the trailing quotation mark. Frances is capitalized as it’s a proper noun. If I had used ‘she’ instead, it wouldn’t be capitalized (see below).

Simple leading dialogue tag. Comma before the opening quotation marks. Capitalize the first word within the quotation marks.

Dialogue tag punctuating a single sentence. Comma after tag, second clause within quotation marks doesn’t start with a capital letter as it’s part of the whole sentence.

Compound of the above. Note ‘she said’ isn’t capitalized (as opposed to Frances in the first example). Period after ‘breath’ as it’s the end of one sentence. Capitalize ‘aha!’ as it’s the start of a new one.

Also note that it’s the same speaker within a paragraph. If a second speaker joins the conversation, they get a new paragraph.

Dialogue without tags is fine if it’s clear who is speaking.

“I hope this is helping,” Frances said.

“I guess so.”

“Not really?” asked Frances. “What could I be doing differently?”

Note: although a question mark is equivalent to a period in normal use. If it’s included in quotation marks then a following dialogue tag is not capitalized. Yeah, this one is confusing.

You can also skip formal tags altogether and have dialogue segue into the general text.

“I’ll try to explain this now.” Frances wasn’t sure how good a job she was doing of being a punctuation teacher. She was worried that she’d get something wrong. Still she was doing her best.

Or…

Frances began to think that maybe sticking to simple dialogue is a good idea when a writer is starting out. But how to say this without sounding patronizing? Hmm… “Maybe just focus on the trailing and leading tags for now. You can always branch out later.”

There is also dialogue that spans multiple paragraphs. “Don’t worry about that for now!”

Realistically, this covers about 90%, maybe more, of the dialogue situations that will arise. Lobster's examples are very good, too.

 

[StillStunned]

I'm adding this link to the "Self-editing" thread.

 

[OddLove]

Happens to me.

I'll accidently having two characters speak in the same paragraph like,
The Rock asked, "Can you hand me a beer?" but Stone Cold just asked, "What?" so the Rock grabbed himself a beer and said, "Thanks for nothing Jabroni."

That should be three paragraphs, but sometimes it feels so natural to me I write it that way with out realizing it.

My other most common mistake is

The Rock grabbed a steel chair and quietly warned, "I'm layin' em in, brother.", then he swung the chair over his head and cracked the jobbers skull as the impact echoed throughout the arena.

I constantly add those commas outside of the dialog quote if I'm not ending the paragraph there.

I've had several stories sent back for those exact reasons. So yeah, lot of amateurs round these parts. Just keep working on grammar, it'll happen less and less.

 

[TheLobster]

I constantly add those commas outside of the dialog quote if I'm not ending the paragraph there.

Don't beat yourself about it. The rules around quotes and commas in English are frankly illogical, so sometimes you just have to remember you need to do things "the other way around."

Y'know, just like I did here.

 

[SimonDoom]

Don't beat yourself

This isn't necessarily good advice to give a Literotica member. I mean, why are they here?

 

[NuclearFairy]

Hmm, I'm not sure how this one should go can I get a little advice here?

Should it be; Larry patiently reminded him, “I can’t write,” as that had not been been a skill that anyone had taken the time to teach her growing up.

Or; Larry patiently reminded him, “I can’t write.” As that had not been a skill that anyone had taken the time to teach her growing up.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Hmm, I'm not sure how this one should go can I get a little advice here?

Should it be; Larry patiently reminded him, “I can’t write,” as that had not been been a skill that anyone had taken the time to teach her growing up.

Or; Larry patiently reminded him, “I can’t write.” As that had not been a skill that anyone had taken the time to teach her growing up.

The first.

"As that had not been a skill that anyone had taken the time to teach her growing up." is not a complete sentence.

 

[NuclearFairy]

The first.

"As that had not been a skill that anyone had taken the time to teach her growing up." is not a complete sentence.

Thanks.

 

[TheLobster]

Hmm, I'm not sure how this one should go can I get a little advice here?

Should it be; Larry patiently reminded him, “I can’t write,” as that had not been been a skill that anyone had taken the time to teach her growing up.

Or; Larry patiently reminded him, “I can’t write.” As that had not been a skill that anyone had taken the time to teach her growing up.

It’s the first but I’d rephrase it into indirect speech, i.e.:

Larry patiently reminded him he couldn’t write, as that (…)

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

This isn't necessarily good advice to give a Literotica member. I mean, why are they here?

'How can you get any pudding if you don't beat your meat?"

Not quite the lyric, but ....