paganangel
born wrong
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2001
- Posts
- 18,277
just tired and bored with myself. maked this buzz worh it. muse. make me laugh.
stoned.
- Thread starter paganangel
- Start date
paganangel
born wrong
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2001
- Posts
- 18,277
that took 90 seconds to get but now it's really fubbynaudiz said:
p_p_man
The 'Euro' European
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2001
- Posts
- 24,253
Bless me Father for I have sinned...
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have not been to confession for six months. On top of that, I've been with a loose woman."
The priest sighs. "Is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, 'tis I."
"And who might be the woman you were with?"
"I shan't be tellin'you, Father. T'would ruin her reputation, at all."
"Well, Tommy, I'm bound to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nuala Ó Ceallaigh?"
"I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."
"Was it Cathy O'Dell?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona Mallory, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you at all."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy O'Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But, you've sinned, and you must atone. Be off with you now. Say two decades of the Holy Rosary."
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Seán slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Five more good leads!" says Tommy.
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have not been to confession for six months. On top of that, I've been with a loose woman."
The priest sighs. "Is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, 'tis I."
"And who might be the woman you were with?"
"I shan't be tellin'you, Father. T'would ruin her reputation, at all."
"Well, Tommy, I'm bound to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nuala Ó Ceallaigh?"
"I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."
"Was it Cathy O'Dell?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona Mallory, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you at all."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy O'Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But, you've sinned, and you must atone. Be off with you now. Say two decades of the Holy Rosary."
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Seán slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Five more good leads!" says Tommy.
Star At Sunrise
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2002
- Posts
- 183
That was a great joke... both of them were great... oh man I'm baked.
These two Italians walk into a bar.
They go up and sit at the counter, and one of them says to the other, "Okay, Emma comes first. Emma always comes first, got it?" The other Italian nods in agreement.
The first man continues. "Then I come. The two asses, they come together. Okay?" The other one nods.
The Italian continues speaking. "Then I come again. The two asses, they come again too. Then I come, pee twice, then I come again, got it?" The other nods finally.
Just then, the bartender walks up to them and says "Hey, we get a lot of women drinking at this bar, so you guys keep your voices down if you’re gonna talk about sex."
The Italian shrugs and says "But, I’m-a just tryin’ to tell my friend how to spell Mississippi!"
These two Italians walk into a bar.
They go up and sit at the counter, and one of them says to the other, "Okay, Emma comes first. Emma always comes first, got it?" The other Italian nods in agreement.
The first man continues. "Then I come. The two asses, they come together. Okay?" The other one nods.
The Italian continues speaking. "Then I come again. The two asses, they come again too. Then I come, pee twice, then I come again, got it?" The other nods finally.
Just then, the bartender walks up to them and says "Hey, we get a lot of women drinking at this bar, so you guys keep your voices down if you’re gonna talk about sex."
The Italian shrugs and says "But, I’m-a just tryin’ to tell my friend how to spell Mississippi!"
