Still in the Closet.. I Guess

[Aeradalia]

Hi..

I am bisexual.. always have been... I do like the company of men, very comfortable around them and they do attract me very much. But I am also drawn to women.. their beauty enthralls me so...

I have spent much time taking note of this part of myself... I've noticed that some women attract me whereas others do not... I tend to favor more of an artistic/romantic view of women... but at times, for lack of a better way of putting it, slutty just seems to work...

In the past I have had 'experiments'... brief relationships... and numerous 'friends' that I really wish were more than just friends... but I have never been in a serious relationship with a woman... for the most part, I tend to be very nervous around women I like, often to my detriment.

When I was growing up.. there were very few people I could talk to about this 'strange' attraction... often times it was only with guys I could share this with... The girls at the time were not interested in anything meaningful and so I missed out on a chance to just talk to someone who could understand where I'm coming from...

I guess I'm just trying to reach out... Would kind of like to know how others dealt with 'sitting on the fence' as it were...

 

[Etoile]

I've never been on the fence really, but I wanted to welcome you to Lit anyway.

 

[SoulNTex]

being fully onboard with ncdude's situation and desires, I too have gone through my stages of wondering 'what side of the fence i belong on'. Now I know, I belong right here perched on it and visiting the side that fullfills my desire at that moment, but not committing to one side only. At least not yet Now I have to add another part of me, I do enjoy dressing as a female but again, my desires are to share sexual moments with both men and women as a 'woman'.

It can be a frustrating life as some accept, most don't. I am left confused but being single now, i'm given the opportunity to delve into my mind and heart to see what is it that i really want or am I happy at the stage i'm in?

I was married to a beautiful woman but had desires to be her 'girlfriend' at times and her 'man' at others. Yes i also had thoughts of running my hands along a smooth chiseled hardbody of a man, down to his penis but have not acted on that desire in over 25 years.

Your not alone Aera.. with sites like this and others, that you are able to get a more understanding..and maybe find 'you' in the end.. whether its only being with women, men or a mix.. its about making you happy..and those in your life accepting you for being you..

hope this makes sense

SoulNTex

 

[Around_the_bend]

Hi..

I am bisexual.. always have been... I do like the company of men, very comfortable around them and they do attract me very much. But I am also drawn to women.. their beauty enthralls me so...

I have spent much time taking note of this part of myself... I've noticed that some women attract me whereas others do not... I tend to favor more of an artistic/romantic view of women... but at times, for lack of a better way of putting it, slutty just seems to work...

In the past I have had 'experiments'... brief relationships... and numerous 'friends' that I really wish were more than just friends... but I have never been in a serious relationship with a woman... for the most part, I tend to be very nervous around women I like, often to my detriment.

When I was growing up.. there were very few people I could talk to about this 'strange' attraction... often times it was only with guys I could share this with... The girls at the time were not interested in anything meaningful and so I missed out on a chance to just talk to someone who could understand where I'm coming from...

I guess I'm just trying to reach out... Would kind of like to know how others dealt with 'sitting on the fence' as it were...

It's ok These things take time and don't always go the way you want.

I just admitted to my wife of many years that I was bi but that was only after I felt comfortable enough to talk to her about it. The turning point was when she woke up one morning mentioning she had a hot dream about a female friend and then mentioned that she might be bi. We talked about it and now we are happy that everything is out in the open

Makes movie watching a lot more fun lol

You will find your way ... and when you do you will feel confident and secure in your feelings. You will wake up and feel like a fresh new person ready to accept this new role in life.

I am just babbling but like the others said ... there are people that have felt the same way and you will find a surprisingly high amount of comfort from people here Just gotta not mind the real bad pervs lol ... the medium pervs are ok though

Later,

AtB

 

[Aeradalia]

Takes notes from Atb: ignore real bad pervs, but medium pervs are ok... hmm.. alrighty

To SoulNTex: At the moment I've been talking to a man who's own sexual deviance... as it were... has made talking about sexuality...at least.... very much fun. We like the same kinds of women... and he encourages me to try to... more or less... go out and play with the girls... I find it funny that I have to remain anchored to something familiar... being with a guy... in order to begin feeling comfortable with being around girls...

To Etoile: Thanks for the welcome... btw, did some growing up in a tiny town in Texas called Etoile....

To ncdude280: Yeah... growing up bi was rough at times... Felt really weird getting dressed with the other girls in the shower rooms... so much so that I actually started dressing in the stalls... it was just all too much...
I've been in a few relationships with men where the option to be with women was available...and even wanted by the men for me (yeah, threesomes.. I know, men )... Maybe some women wouldn't mind seeing two men? Rare... but still possible.. I for one would definitely find it intriguing to watch two men...

 

[kingkhan1]

Hi..

I tend to be very nervous around women I like, often to my detriment.

I totally agree with this and for me my attraction to men tends to be only for there cock and they are available while women seem harder to get. And for me all I do with men is masturbate w/ them and it kind of fulfills my sexual loneliness. I wouldn't mind falling in love with a guy but, I am just not attracted to guys in that way and it would probably be easier if I was. But, I do acknowledge I have bi tendencies. But, what I really need to do is not be so shy around women and in general open up as a person. And to Aeradalia I hope this site can help you learn about your sexuality in discussions with the people on this forum.

 

[Programmer Cat]

I guess I'm just trying to reach out... Would kind of like to know how others dealt with 'sitting on the fence' as it were...

My wife had similar experiences growing up; she too had realized from an early age that she liked both men and women. She told me a year after we had started dating that she liked women as well, and had been crying when she told me she was bi. I just told her that she was herself, not 'a bisexual', and that I would be stupid if I saw her only in terms of what sort of sex she liked.

From my own experience, I've come to think that sexuality is fluid. One's tastes can change. When I was a teenager, I had no interest in sex with men. It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I tried it, and found that I liked it. However, I do not call myself "bisexual". I am just "sexual". My wife is just "sexual". We're sexual together, and sometimes we get sexual with others.

You have the right to do what you want, and call yourself what you want. Never let somebody else tell you otherwise.