STD testing possible 3rd for 3-way

[CuriousThroat2]

The actuality of this is a long, long way off, but I was curious about it anyways.

Say my wife and I want to invite another guy into our bed. We're both clean, 100%, and would like to keep it that way.

How would we get the guy tested? Or, is there an acceptable level of proof that can be requested to prove a clean bill of health? HIV, AIDS, Hep-C, gonorrhea, HPV, herpes, the whole works.

How reliable are such tests? What's the false negative rate?

This would be with the Canadian health care system, but would be interested in hearing international opinions and details.

Thanks.

 

[Bramblethorn]

The actuality of this is a long, long way off, but I was curious about it anyways.

Say my wife and I want to invite another guy into our bed. We're both clean, 100%, and would like to keep it that way.

How would we get the guy tested? Or, is there an acceptable level of proof that can be requested to prove a clean bill of health? HIV, AIDS, Hep-C, gonorrhea, HPV, herpes, the whole works.

How reliable are such tests? What's the false negative rate?

This would be with the Canadian health care system, but would be interested in hearing international opinions and details.

Thanks.

My advice would be to give your local sexual health centre a call and see what they advise. Depending on history, they may consider it not worth screening for some things; I don't know what the current doctrine is in Canada, but last time I went they told me I was extremely low-risk for HIV so they didn't recommend testing for it. Also, I donate blood regularly, and the screening for that covers a lot of the major nasties.

In my case, the people involved trusted me to be honest about my history and test results. If you're not prepared to take the other guy's say-so, then you'll need to talk to the doctor about disclosing his results, which will require his permission. (But speaking for myself: if I didn't trust them to be honest to me about their results, I wouldn't trust them to be honest with their doctor and me about their recent sexual history, and that's a deal-breaker; STI testing on its own won't tell you about anything picked up just before the tests, or anything that happens afterwards.)

Bear in mind that if you're asking this guy for proof of disease-free status, you should be prepared to offer the same in return.

BTW, Hep-B is the one you need to worry about for sex (unless you're vaccinated, which is a good idea). Hep C is largely or entirely a blood-borne disease; it sometimes gets listed as a sexually-transmitted disease, but last I looked it wasn't confirmed whether it can even spread that way. If it does, transmission rates are very low.

You should also consider chlamydia on that list.

 

[fire_breeze]

The actuality of this is a long, long way off, but I was curious about it anyways.

Say my wife and I want to invite another guy into our bed. We're both clean, 100%, and would like to keep it that way.

How would we get the guy tested? Or, is there an acceptable level of proof that can be requested to prove a clean bill of health? HIV, AIDS, Hep-C, gonorrhea, HPV, herpes, the whole works.

How reliable are such tests? What's the false negative rate?

This would be with the Canadian health care system, but would be interested in hearing international opinions and details.

Thanks.

HPV (with the exception of Pap smears) and HSV (herpes) is only tested if symptoms present itself, or if directly requested. It's rarely routine, as HPV is stupid common (up to 90% of sexually active adults have a strain) and has something like 120 strains and HSV is also very common, can present as a cold sore, and something like 1 in 4 of adults have a strain.

Testing is covered under your provincial bill. You can go to a sexual health clinic, in which you will get your results in 2 days. Or you can have the potential party go to his doctor. Depending on where you live, you will need a doctor's prescript.

The standard window in Canada, which follows international guidelines, for testing is WHO recommendations is 3 months (12 weeks); this can be less, though, depending on provincial guidelines. However, if you decide to use a private laboratory, check to see if they use Gen 4, then the window is a minimum of 6 weeks (and some provincial labs also use 4th Gen; you will have to ask).

False negatives are exceedingly rare outside of the window - you are most likely to get a false positive.

If the gentleman in question donates blood regularly, you can breath a bit, because they have exceedingly stringent testing measures and will notify the donor is something is off, and not necessarily if there is a virus (they called me to get my iron checked out, so...).

It is law, by the way, that when asked, the person must give you full disclosure of their status. If they lie, they go into jail for attempted manslaughter. I think this is cross-country, but I'm not certain. I know it is in Alberta, Ontario, BC and Quebec, but again you may wish to call your clinic to check.

 

[SweetErika]

The thing is, a clean test does not mean an STI-free person. The person could go out and acquire STIs after they've been tested, and men aren't tested for HPV.

If getting an STI isn't acceptable to you guys, your best bet (apart from abstaining, that is) is to reduce the likelihood via barrier methods. Look at that as your foundation, your primary defense, but not a guarantee. Testing and making sure your new partner is trustworthy are always good layers to add to your primary defense. Barriers break, tests can be inaccurate and people we trust completely can lie. Take that reality and do your best to protect yourselves.

 

[Bramblethorn]

If the gentleman in question donates blood regularly, you can breath a bit, because they have exceedingly stringent testing measures and will notify the donor is something is off

One thing I should have mentioned in my previous post: that "regularly" is important here. The purpose of screening for blood donation is to protect recipients, not donors. They will certainly notify the donor if they pick up anything, but occasionally a situation arises where it's not possible to do the testing (e.g. the testing samples get damaged or lost). When that happens the untested blood will be discarded, but they may not notify the donor, because that wasn't the deal.

I donate about once a month (plasma), so it seems safe to assume that at least some of mine is getting tested. But I wouldn't ask a partner to rely on my results from a one-off donation in place of a dedicated STI test.

 

[CuriousThroat2]

Also, I donate blood regularly, and the screening for that covers a lot of the major nasties.

Yeah, I donated blood to find out my blood type. It was hilarious, actually. It's a 200 page questionaire, and every question is basically "Do you have AIDS". Seriously, it's all "Did you fuck a dude? No, seriously, did you? How about a monkey? Never mind, tell me about your needles. Did you share a needle? Did you share it while fucking a dude? Okay, next question. This one's about fucking..."

In my case, the people involved trusted me to be honest about my history and test results. If you're not prepared to take the other guy's say-so, then you'll need to talk to the doctor about disclosing his results, which will require his permission.

Trust, and therein lies the problem. The theory is "let's fuck a dude". But it'd be awkward to do that with anyone we know. And anyone we don't know, how do you trust? =)

Bear in mind that if you're asking this guy for proof of disease-free status, you should be prepared to offer the same in return.

Absolutely and with confidence. I got my full screening when my wife and I first started getting serious. She was a virgin. We got more rounds of screening when we started trying for a kid. Clean. =)

BTW, Hep-B is the one you need to worry about for sex (unless you're vaccinated, which is a good idea). Hep C is largely or entirely a blood-borne disease; it sometimes gets listed as a sexually-transmitted disease, but last I looked it wasn't confirmed whether it can even spread that way. If it does, transmission rates are very low.

You should also consider chlamydia on that list.

D'oh, you're right, fucked up my Heps. My wife the biologist would be very angry with me. =)

 

[CuriousThroat2]

Also, thanks to all the other posters for your answers. I appreciate the information and will keep it all in mind.

 

[ptrlong]

The thing is, a clean test does not mean an STI-free person. The person could go out and acquire STIs after they've been tested, and men aren't tested for HPV.

If getting an STI isn't acceptable to you guys, your best bet (apart from abstaining, that is) is to reduce the likelihood via barrier methods. Look at that as your foundation, your primary defense, but not a guarantee. Testing and making sure your new partner is trustworthy are always good layers to add to your primary defense. Barriers break, tests can be inaccurate and people we trust completely can lie. Take that reality and do your best to protect yourselves.

One very true fact! This is a controversial topic because there are several people nowadays that may claim to be STI-free and have been tested, but the truth is they don’t even know the first thing when it comes to getting tested.

The question is, is the person you are inviting in your relationship okay with getting tested? If you and your wife are particular and want to continue on, maybe all three of you can be tested so one person isn’t singled out and feeling left out. Also, try to observe your neighbor’s lifestyle, like do they come home late? Where do they work? Do you see promiscuous activities that may reflect how they are in relationships? I agree with SweetErika in do the best to protect yourselves.

If you are not familiar with STD testing and how it works. Try checking out this very helpful website

 

[Primalex]

As a side note, while Hep-C might not be a classic STD, it's still important to know it if there is a chance you get in contact with blood - and there is always a chance.
"Oh, I cut my finger while preparing dinner." - "Hey, let me kiss it, then it heals faster."