Staying Power?

[Dreyk66]

Ok... so I dont think im all that great in bed... but to be honest my main problem is being able to last. On occasion I seem to be able to stay long enough to make my gf climax but usually the only way for me to do it is if I eat her out first or use her vibe on her afterwards. We dont use condoms because she cant currently become pregnant and the other stuff isnt an issue. I know condoms can help me last as ive tried them before, however they seem to numb things down to the point that its almost impossable for me to finish with them.

She mentioned something about tantra. I dont know much about it but would be willing to try just about anything at this point, but would rather not waste money on books if they are bad ones so if somebody knows about this part a recommendation would be great!

Thanks for reading...

 

[emap]

YOu don't really need to go and buy one of those books, I can tell you how to last longer. I've seen and felt it at work.

My guy when he gets into me doesn't seem to have a rythm, he move's about, goes slower and faster, harder and softer and all of this in the space of one pump to the next. I never know if he is going to just shove it in and out like a piston or if he is going to make sweet passionate love to me from moment to moment, until the end, generally when I am begging him to cum.

Basically what that means is, turn off the music, or at least tune it out and go with your own rythm, well lack of one I suppose is a better term for it. Oh and of course, when you get close, stop and cuddle and kiss even for a few seconds, he swears that if I let him he would do me all day literally, I don't think he could really, but so not going to find out.

Oh and he says that if you don't think about how good she feels around you and think about something else, quantum physics, the average length of a World War 2 battleship, if Joe down the street is really going to return your lawnmower tomorrow.

If you can manage to do all of that, i am pretty sure she is going to scream your name, then beg you to cum, if you keep going she probably will start swearing at you. Not kidding we can only stand to get fucked so long, especially if your stretching us a good amount.

 

[coolr]

alot of it's mental man, i remember i hadn't had sex in over a year due to my job and traveling and such, and when i finally got back to my girl at the time, i was so worried about lasting long enough that we ended up going an hour plus just because mentally i was so fucked that i couldn't even think about how enjoyable it was

 

[SweetErika]

Why do you think your main problem is not lasting long enough?

How many orgasms does your partner have BEFORE you have intercourse?


Developing your PC muscle with Kegel exercises can help you stop yourself from coming (but, like any exercise, you won't get instant results), and having an orgasm via masturbation, oral, etc. before sex can be effective as well. There are plenty of suggestions and details in the threads of The Blank Manual sticky at the top of the main How To page.

However, I think the REAL problem is that you're relying on sex to make her come. Most, particularly young, women don't orgasm from sex alone. Even those who do generally don't come every single time. If your gf comes several times before you enter her, she'll be more likely to come during sex, but satisfaction shouldn't be an issue either way.

 

[phonevisitor]

How to improve your endurance...

To last hours...

Some of the subtle things that will help.
1) Notice where you concentrate within your body. If you focus on the head or underside of your cock... you'll cum too quickly. Intentionally focus on the rest of your body... for example, concentrate on feeling your feet... or your hands... or bite your inner tongue or inner lip for a moment to focus.
Feel the palm of your hand slide over her skin... feel the skin of your belly against hers. Don't center your focus on the sensitive areas of your cock until you're ready to cum.
You can practice this when you masturbate. Learn to go up to the edge... then shift your focus. Don't be in a rush. Control your concentration and be in charge of yourself.

2) re: kegeling. The next time you cum... notice the way you tense and draw in your anal ring muscles. If you do that as you fuck, you'll cum more quickly. Practice relaxing your anal ring... don't tense it... when you feel yourself getting close to cumming... intentionally relax it... learning this alone will give you tremendous staying power.
Developing your kegel muscles is a good thing... in my experience most women love it when you flex and fill your cock inside them... it's a very subtle sensation... do it when you're both still... BUT, don't get in the habit of keeping them flexed or you'll cum in 60 seconds! Breathe deep and relax them completely as you move in her.

3) Learn to move in her and on her... don't keep the sensitive underside of your cock head where it's tightly held or stimulated. When you feel yourself beginning to build to orgasm, press into her and stay deep... using shallow thrusts press your shaft more upwardly against her clit (you can reach it if you practice and angle yourself a little above her), then move downward and angle your cock in her upward. Feel the topside of your cock head and shaft and slowly and deliberately angle yourself so that you're rubbing her gspot (up and just under her pubic bone... feel it with your finger hooked upward... sort of spongy texture...).

4) Don't stimulate her with your cock alone... thrusting for hours gets dull. It's what you do WHILE you move that creates a gourmet experience. Vary your focus... use your lips to softly kiss hers... NOT deep tongue probing... but softly brushing... catching her lip between your lip and your teeth... or your tongue... explore her neck... beneath and behind her ears... softly... teasing with your teeth...
Use your hands to caress her back and shoulders... slip down to her ass and knead her... wet or oil the soft pads of two fingers and press her anal ring... massaging it gently... pressing it in as you thrust in her... sometimes oil a finger and slip it inside her... if she coos and moans... by all means give her more...
Explore her body... turn so that while still in her... your mouth and hands have free reign... explore her calves... her feet... her toes... suckling gently as your cock slowly strokes her
AT LEAST ONCE... you must slip out... and slide down... and take her with your lips and tongue... let her cum again and again... then slide up and re-enter her...

5) Preparation. Try masturbating 3 or 4 hours before you go out... that can help too.

Good luck, bud!

 

[Dreyk66]

thank you all very much for the suggestions... i'll be sure to put some of those to use the next time i get a chance

 

[Pixxie]

What I have found is this: Relax your butt (pelvic) muscles. I found this out in "The Guide to Getting it On" by Paul Joannides (ISBN 1-885535-00-7, The Goofy Foot Press). Don't clench your butt, use your back instead of your hips to thrust, and try having the woman on top (she does all the moving instead of your hips).

 

[Carnevil9]

Use your brain. Remember, 90% of sex is half mental......Carney

 

[Noobix]

I can tell you what works for me...

To be honest I've read and lost interest in a few essays on lasting longer. The few good things I've gotten out of them are:
1. Breath deeply. Through your nose.
2. Focus on other things. The feeling of the sheets beneath you... The smell in the air. The sounds in the room. The movement of air across your skin. Anything like.
3. Slow down when close to climax. Stop if you have to. Switch positions.
4. If i'm still having troubles I actually go through the alphabet backwards. Starting from A.
Example. "A... B,A... C,B,A... D,C,B,A... E,D,C,B,A..."
It takes my thoughts away from my concern.
5. Another point brought up again and again is the concern with finishing too fast. They say that you dont' HAVE to finish at all and that we are so fixated on it at times that it's half the problem.

I'm not sure this will help but at least you can get some ideas and go from there.
Good luck!

 

[Emerald Eyed]

Use your brain. Remember, 90% of sex is half mental......Carney

What?