Starting a Series (if there's interest)

[desertslave]

I've cut my teeth on two fairly simple stories, so I decided to submit the beginning of a sort-of series. They're related stories, and more than a little autobiographical. I'd love some opinions and critiques, please.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=377143

 

[Scarlet_72]

I think its a great start and I like your style: subissive in the way you serve your tutor and you really use your abilety to make him happy. Can hardly wait for your new apoointmnent and kind of hope you'll be late ;-)

 

[Fantazmaster]

Desertslave,gave this opening story in the series a very high rating .....can't wait for the next in the series as I like your writing style.

 

[Anna_Malia75]

First off, I would write the series if you have a series in you to write. Don't worry about the interest at this point; if the writing's good and the story's good, the interest will build.

As to the story, I think you write a pretty good BJ scene, although the idea of her thanking him first afterward drove me up a wall. For what, letting her pleasure him?

What I don't yet see is the plot (tension, conflict, resolution) that a longer series requires. Obviously you have time to work on that, but so far what you have is less of a story and more of a sex scene. If you want to write a story, you'll need to develop Amy's character a little more so we have some better idea of why she has such poor impulse control and how it impacts the other parts of her life.

Good luck!

 

[desertslave]

Thank you for your comments!

These first two stories were originally written quite a while ago as simple, standalone stories. Restructuring them as part of a series has been an interesting exercise. Hopefully my next installment will help things along.

Anna, yes, the "thank you" was exactly for being allowed to give him a BJ. He was reluctant, she (I) convinced him. I always say thank you when someone gives me something I want.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=380147