Spousal Bloopers

[Rubyfruit]

List your best here.

One year, for Mother's Day, my husband gave me a card from Hallmark's line for African Americans. (Hint: I'm not black) He only read the outside, which was really nice, but when I opened it up there was a picture of a beautiful black woman with sentiments to go with it!

Now I know he doesn't actually read the cards before buying them.

Ruby

 

[SweetCherry]

Well, this wasn't from a spouse, but an old bf of mine. He got me (and our female room mate) an iron for Valentines day. Got me a card too, that he didn't even sign, just handed it to me right out of the bag. I'd have rather the bonehead forgot about it.

 

[LRC]

hmmmmmmmmmmm

I got a knife sharpener ....... returned it ......
























should have used it!

 

[Vivid Blossom]

How's this one -- my husband and I are having problems cuz he has practically no sex drive -- and I well -- enjoy it immensly. So we got into a fight and he tells me that HIS doctor told him that the problem was MY medicine that I take for depression. That it prolongs a woman's orgasm. Then he says -- "So see, I couldn't please you IF I WANTED TO." Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

[MidnightAngel]

Spousal Bloopers:

Ok. How's this?

My ex-husband went away over Valentine's Day weekend with a bunch of his buddies. On the trip, he remembered that it was Valentine's Day, so he stopped and bought a card. Then he mailed it home, except that he addressed it to himself!

It's a good thing he was nice to look at, 'cause he wasn't very smart!

 

[Rubyfruit]

How come I'm not surprised that all of the replies are from women?

You got some good ones there, girls. Keep 'em coming.

Ruby

 

[naudiz]

Last Valentine's Day I got a huge pack of steaks wrapped in white butcher paper with a card reading: Since you don't like flowers... So, when's dinner?

I was delighted. It was *just* what I wanted. We grilled them up and had a barbeque in the freezing cold. Ah, romance.

He does tend to get me the 'bowling ball named Homer' gifts, though. If he's got his eye on a gaming supplement or spiffy new toy, he'll get it 'for us' or he'll swear he thought I'd love it, but if I don't, he'll be happy to take it off my hands.

Right.

I wish I had a man who got me power tools. I'd love power tools. However, my man is willing to petition a law to ban me from having them if necessary. Yeesh, fix one dishwasher the 'interesting' way and you're branded for life.