Spenser's Irish Pub

[tonitits]

(((((((((((((((Spenser and friends)))))))))))))))) hope everyone had a good weekend. Take care. Hugs to all.

Spenser - I don't know how to relax etc..if I did I probably wouldn't be as stressed I am. The one thing that I really enjoy, but need another person is to take a nice hot, relaxing shower and then receive a really long, slow, wonderful full body massage. Mmmmm, wish I could have one right now!

 

[Spenser41]

Standing here ready to service you mam......

(((((((((((((((Spenser and friends)))))))))))))))) hope everyone had a good weekend. Take care. Hugs to all.

Spenser - I don't know how to relax etc..if I did I probably wouldn't be as stressed I am. The one thing that I really enjoy, but need another person is to take a nice hot, relaxing shower and then receive a really long, slow, wonderful full body massage. Mmmmm, wish I could have one right now!

 

[babydoll2u]

I could use that full body massage right now...
god could I.

((((Toni))))

 

[tonitits]

((((((((((((Spenser and Peg))))))))))))) have a good weekend.

 

[Phalenopsis]

How about a new topic? What do you do to hijack your thoughts when you are obsessing on a problem that you can't immediately do anything about?

 

[Spenser41]

Oh that is easy!

To be in a hammack, with a nice tall glass of lemonade and on the beach!

 

[babydoll2u]

I tend to look for a distraction....
may not be the best way to deal with it, but it's what I'm used to.

turn on the stereo and dance in my livingroom, or plug in a good movie, or come post on Lit, lol. hmmmmm....

 

[tonitits]

Try to escape it any way I can... come to Lit, watch a movie, listen to music, sex if there is someone available, etc...It usually doesn't last for very long but it does take my mind off the worries for a bit.

I think the best thing to do is to look at a story or help someone whose situation is alot worse than mine. Also to pray alot!

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by tonitits
(((((((((((((((Spenser and friends)))))))))))))))) hope everyone had a good weekend. Take care. Hugs to all.

Spenser - I don't know how to relax etc..if I did I probably wouldn't be as stressed I am. The one thing that I really enjoy, but need another person is to take a nice hot, relaxing shower and then receive a really long, slow, wonderful full body massage. Mmmmm, wish I could have one right now!

Can I stand in line behind you? A nice hot, relaxing shower and a really long, slow, wonderful full body massage sounds sooooooooo good.

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by Spenser41
Standing here ready to service you mam......

Hmmm...I'm ready for a slow, full body massage...can I take a number and be next? I would love to reciprocate

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by Phalenopsis
How about a new topic? What do you do to hijack your thoughts when you are obsessing on a problem that you can't immediately do anything about?

That's a hard one for me but I went through something troublesome times recently and I just went into my own world, watched tv, read a book, did some writing and slept. If I could I would have taken a ride to a secluded beach, sat down on the sand, watch and listen to the ocean while the salty breeze calms my heart but then I'd think of solving the problem and ways to go about it.

I'm the type who just goes behind an invisible wall to hide whatever is bothering me until I'm ready to face the problem. I distance myself emotionally from everyone and everything. This is not good but that's the way I am. I don't shut everyone out completely, I do answer or talk but it's quite strained so to speak; I won't say what's wrong until I'm good and ready.

 

[Spenser41]

WOO HOO

Hmmm...I'm ready for a slow, full body massage...can I take a number and be next? I would love to reciprocate

That's the best offer I have had in a long time!
How are you doing hon? PM me if you want to talk. Been concerned about you.

 

[Phalenopsis]

I'm a puzzle person. I have to get my mind on something else so I do jigsaw puzzles, crossword puzzles, Scrable, etc. Yoga, too, but I can't do that for very long periods of time. I think it is important to keep the mind active but in an area other than where the problem is.

 

[babydoll2u]

I'm a puzzle person. I have to get my mind on something else so I do jigsaw puzzles, crossword puzzles, Scrable, etc. Yoga, too, but I can't do that for very long periods of time. I think it is important to keep the mind active but in an area other than where the problem is.

hmmmm I love doing crosswords and word searches... but they just don't keep my mind busy enough


Peggy

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Re: WOO HOO

Originally posted by Spenser41
That's the best offer I have had in a long time!
How are you doing hon? PM me if you want to talk. Been concerned about you.

I'm hanging in there babe, I think. It seems I'm going thru peri-menopause and with any little thing I get emotional. I'm an emotional roller coaster. I have an appt the day before Thanksgiving so I'm going to talk to him and explain what's been happening. It also could be due to my back problems which is getting worse.

As for the problem with my bf, I've taken the bull by its horn and had a talk with him about it. He denies what everyone says about him and his female co-worker but I told him what I felt and thought. Perhaps he's just defending his worker as a supervisor should but the mannerism in which he spoke and his body language said something else. My best friend told me to seriously "think" about what I wanted to do which was confront him and end the relationship and that I was not thinking straight = getting my emotions in the way. She knows me very well and she knows what he's like and what he's like which is a 1000% better than my ex.

I still have insecurities when it comes to relationships and I've thought about breaking up and told my bf about it and when he asks "why?" I always say he'd " find someone better, someone younger, healthier, sexy and young". Well his answer is always "I already found her" which he means me but for some strange reason I just can't shake the feeling of letting go so he can be less stressed, worried and all. Am I thinking wrong? Am I just letting my past demons and experiences get in the way?

I know he truly loves me and I do him but I just have times I feel he'd be better off without me. I cry sometimes for no reason or thinking too much which I didn't do before. I may ask for anti-depressants but I have a history of suicidal tendencies (even when I was on the meds). Luckily I can't drive, don't have my car and can't walk very far; if I did I'd be off somewhere, alone on a beach where I find solice and can think about life and things going on.

Thank you for being so concerned. You know you are so so caring and I wish we lived closer so we can talk more. Thanks to you I've made a few friends who I share things with and are/have been going through things I've gone through. You are such a special guy and should there be a woman in your life I have to say "she's on hell of a lucky woman!"

Everytime I see a missing person ad on tv I think of Peggy's son and the situation she's in. I hope she's doing well and will continue praying for her and her son's safe return. I only hope her husband can see the light and see what wrong he's doing. It's sad to know what is happening in the world today and my heart just weeps...what happened to the days when we could leave our doors open and not worry about intruders/attackers, go somewhere and see people as we walk along the sidewalks and stop to chat, or to have quiet times and not worry about tomorrow or dwell upon the current day's problems, dilemma's and demands?

Keep in touch and I'm thinking of you daily with a smile on my heart!

Alberta

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by Phalenopsis
I'm a puzzle person. I have to get my mind on something else so I do jigsaw puzzles, crossword puzzles, Scrable, etc. Yoga, too, but I can't do that for very long periods of time. I think it is important to keep the mind active but in an area other than where the problem is.

Ah a fellow puzzle lover I work on jigsaw puzzles (if I can find a store with one which is very rare) whenever I can (sitting is not allowed for more than 30 minutes), tries to get others to play Scrabble but no takers and just watching tv.

One has to keep the mind active for many reasons. One is to keep the old juices flowing and keep that brain functioning instead of zoning out and to keep ones mind off of things...although the problem may still be there at least one has a time to calm down a bit before tackling the problem with a clearer mind.

Uh, now where was I...that's what happened when I just layed in bed, watched tv and did nothing else...I had mush for brains. Uh still kinda mushy with pain killers but a fun kinda mush, lol.

shadow

 

[babydoll2u]

((((((((((Alberta)))))))))))))

 

[tonitits]

Re: Re: WOO HOO

I'm hanging in there babe, I think. It seems I'm going thru peri-menopause and with any little thing I get emotional. I'm an emotional roller coaster. I have an appt the day before Thanksgiving so I'm going to talk to him and explain what's been happening. It also could be due to my back problems which is getting worse.

As for the problem with my bf, I've taken the bull by its horn and had a talk with him about it. He denies what everyone says about him and his female co-worker but I told him what I felt and thought. Perhaps he's just defending his worker as a supervisor should but the mannerism in which he spoke and his body language said something else. My best friend told me to seriously "think" about what I wanted to do which was confront him and end the relationship and that I was not thinking straight = getting my emotions in the way. She knows me very well and she knows what he's like and what he's like which is a 1000% better than my ex.

I still have insecurities when it comes to relationships and I've thought about breaking up and told my bf about it and when he asks "why?" I always say he'd " find someone better, someone younger, healthier, sexy and young". Well his answer is always "I already found her" which he means me but for some strange reason I just can't shake the feeling of letting go so he can be less stressed, worried and all. Am I thinking wrong? Am I just letting my past demons and experiences get in the way?

I know he truly loves me and I do him but I just have times I feel he'd be better off without me. I cry sometimes for no reason or thinking too much which I didn't do before. I may ask for anti-depressants but I have a history of suicidal tendencies (even when I was on the meds). Luckily I can't drive, don't have my car and can't walk very far; if I did I'd be off somewhere, alone on a beach where I find solice and can think about life and things going on.

Thank you for being so concerned. You know you are so so caring and I wish we lived closer so we can talk more. Thanks to you I've made a few friends who I share things with and are/have been going through things I've gone through. You are such a special guy and should there be a woman in your life I have to say "she's on hell of a lucky woman!"

Everytime I see a missing person ad on tv I think of Peggy's son and the situation she's in. I hope she's doing well and will continue praying for her and her son's safe return. I only hope her husband can see the light and see what wrong he's doing. It's sad to know what is happening in the world today and my heart just weeps...what happened to the days when we could leave our doors open and not worry about intruders/attackers, go somewhere and see people as we walk along the sidewalks and stop to chat, or to have quiet times and not worry about tomorrow or dwell upon the current day's problems, dilemma's and demands?

Keep in touch and I'm thinking of you daily with a smile on my heart!

Alberta

(((((((((((((Alberta))))))))))))) hope things get better for you real soon. I am so sorry for all that you are going through right now. Hang in there. You know we are here for you!

 

[shmily]

just a bumb for the PuB

How to destress?
the massage sounds wonderful,
If that's not available. a nice hot shower, a good book, snuggle blanket.
Sex is good.
After a hard day at school with my special kids - just 30 minutes totally by myself, walking through the pasture/woods. praying.

have a great day!
s

 

[Phalenopsis]

I have a theory about stress and sex...let me know if this fits your personal experience.

It seems that men tend to use sex as stress relief while women tend to be turned off by stress; ie. women are horny more often when they are not stressed - when things are going well in their life. Give me your feed back to this theory.

 

[NaturalDom]

I tend to agree Phalenopsis. I know my interest tends to become almost uncontrollable when i am under a lot of stress

I have a theory about stress and sex...let me know if this fits your personal experience.

It seems that men tend to use sex as stress relief while women tend to be turned off by stress; ie. women are horny more often when they are not stressed - when things are going well in their life. Give me your feed back to this theory.

 

[babydoll2u]

I must be strange then.... well... we won't go there (Don't say it Spenser)

I NEED sex when I'm stressed out.. especially when I'm feeling bad about myself, or depressed... for some odd reason. Perhaps it helps me feel validated as a person, makes me feel worthwhile, like a somebody. I know that's not coming out right, but the only way I know how to explain it.

 

[Spenser41]

Well my thoughts on this are, YES men do use sex to relieve stress. SOme women do, but most women when stress do not want sex but want intimacy. More of holding and snuggling. And then they get mad when men take that as they want sex. (see we think when you want to snuggle, you want to have sex.)
Which is why women get mad and think, all they do is think about sex. So the war goes on.
It is true that women most women do not want sex when stressed. They want tenderness and affection. It could lead to sex but rarely.

As far as Shadow is concern, hon, I agree with your friend. Do not push the one person who has been there for you away. Just because the ex did it, does not mean he is doing it. And at this time in your life, you need someone to be there for you. You can not do this on your own.
Most of what you are doing and feeling is depression, the pain and the sadness of what is going on in your life. Do not let that control your common senses.
I agree with your friend. Do not do something out of crazy emotions at this time, but focus on trying to hang on until you get that surgery. Then focus on healing. Again you need someone to be there with you and for you. Do not chase the only good relationship away. If he really is doing something, it will come out sooner or later. But for now, you have no real proof, you are going by rumors, which are not truth, and you have someone who is there for you and you need that now, and your emotions are all over the place and to force this to happen now, could bite you in the butt later. So do not like emotions run away with you and cost you something really big.

 

[Phalenopsis]

Spenser,

Yes, I think that women tend to want snuggles and intimacy without the sex when they are stressed. We call it "support". And, yes, women get upset when "support" automatically turns into sex. It is one of those Venus/Mars things that every SO should at least be aware of. Actually, though, I think women probably NEED sex but don't tend to want it as much when they are stressed; it's a great, healthy way to relieve stress. So, Babydoll, you're probably ahead of a lot of us in that respect.

 

[babydoll2u]

Spenser,

Yes, I think that women tend to want snuggles and intimacy without the sex when they are stressed. We call it "support". And, yes, women get upset when "support" automatically turns into sex. It is one of those Venus/Mars things that every SO should at least be aware of. Actually, though, I think women probably NEED sex but don't tend to want it as much when they are stressed; it's a great, healthy way to relieve stress. So, Babydoll, you're probably ahead of a lot of us in that respect.