SpectreT and maddog

[James Blandings]

I am putting this in a separate thread, so perhaps the First Experiences thread can get back to it's stated topic.
I won't adress maddog's flames, they were uncalled for and don't deserve the honor of any attempt at rebuttal.
No, I want to adress SpectreT. "Dude", you made what looks to me like a sincere attempt to help a person you perceived as in emotional trouble, and you got kicked in the teeth for it. You didn't deserve that. You have been a steady voice on this board and I hope you know that your contribution is well received.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Amen, James. Amen.

You know, I may stop posting to this forum at all. I may just add a permanent "ditto" to James' posts.

 

[Shadowsdream]

SpectreT=Reality

iamamaddog=fantasy

Posts that contain an exessive amounts of ????????/!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=aggression

aggression never=submission

Thanks for opening this new thread

 

[HotXBunz]

Ditto

 

[MissTaken]

I have just read the interaction concerning these two, Spectre T and maddog.

It is time to let it drop. If we perpetuate the ugliness in the forum, all too soon, the forum will turn into a playground of flaming behavior and slams.

I, for one, do not want that to happen.

This is a forum built upon respect and understanding.

We expect respect and understanding from those who frequent the forum or "passers by." Anyone who stops in and finds threads wherein there are cheering sections at the end of discord will think it is perfectly okay to come in and start flaming "freak" threads, etc. I have seen this on other forums and never want that here. I never want people to avoid posting for fear of attack as happens in other forums.

This needs to continue to be a safe place for all.

No, this issue needs to be put to rest.

That the forum members have stood together and indicated that we don't tolerate certain behaviors is a testament to the attachments and friendships that have developed here. Thank you Laurel, cym, Risia and WD for the thread and now, the forum.


Hugs to Spectre T, my friend.

And I will wish mad dog well in his journey. It is a difficult journey at best and does not always bring out the best we have to offer.

 

[cymbidia]

You know what, Risia? I made a harmless post to MadDog, who is obviously a troubled individual, and was attacked by Cymbidia, who has made herself a dictator of this forum. My post was relevant: Cym herself is one of the harshest and most uncivil posters here. You don't think that was thoughtful or relevant? Whatever. I defend my friends, too, but I try to be logical about it.

Brat, you have no idea what's going on with maddog. About him, you're speaking from an ignorant, if well meaning, perspective. I hate to tell you this but i know far more about maddog and what's going on in his life then you do. I have more information about him then you do, brat, on which to base my responses to him, information that has not been and will not be made public. You post to him from a purely responsive, purely reactionary perspective. I do not.

Additionally, i'm far from a dictator. Perhaps you have trouble with the fact that i'm sub and a moderator? I can't do anything about that. I am. Get past it. I've invested as much into this place as anyone here, a lot more than many, and far more than you have. I have an emotional attachment to the place and people who 'reside' here. I have bad days; who doesn't? Like everyone else here, i apologize when i should and then i move on.

I don't know what set you off on me but something did. It's been going for awhile now. You need to get past it, brat, and quit dogging me every time i turn around. It's boring for me and it makes you look like a petulant little girl who needs a time out.

Get off my ass.
I'm tired of you trying to take bites out of it.

 

[cymbidia]

And yes, i know this thread is about maddog and T but...where does this post belong? Where should i have put it?A whole thread for this seems too much. I hate the thought of further disrupting of Dusty's thread. So tell me, please, where should it have gone? Or should i have simply not answered brat? I'm at a loss here; i haven't been personally attacked in this manner at all, ever, here and it's taken me aback.

 

[SpectreT]

Half in jest, in answer to cymbidia's question.

Maybe we shold start a thread called "Fight Club", and give it rules, like "The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club."

Then, when someone posts an ass-holier-than-thou remark, it can be addressed there, without disrupting the threads.

Seriously, I'm surprised but happy this sort of shit hasn't happened before now.

Thanks for the support, everybody, but I did fuck up by letting it turn into a flamefight hijacking of what was supposed to be a thread about better things.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Brat, maddog is one of those emotional leeches. He's very, very needy and he found a perfect place to get the emotional support he craves here. Read through his history and you'll see it yourself. He got that support, sympathy, and care in spades here. At least until people got tired of giving it and getting nothing in return, or even progress in becoming more "whole" or recognizing that he might need more from a therapist and less from BDSMers and BDSM.

The problem is that maddog isn't emotionally stable. BDSM requires emotional stability to practice it, otherwise there are going to be problems. That problem just happened to him as he described. And any BDSM activity he gets into is going to blow up in his face. He has a set of expectations from the Domme that can never be fulfilled. No one can be that part of us that makes us whole for us. That can only come from inside. His scenes will always fall apart for him and his Dommes will always fail him because he is using BDSM to fill the hole inside.

BDSM is like anything else, drugs, alcohol, Internet, sex, relationships, it can be abused. You practice BDSM. You are, in a way, BDSM. Your entire perspective on BDSM is to gain personal satisfaction and to enjoy whatever personal satisfaction your partner gets with you. Maddog uses BDSM to fill the hole inside of himself just like an alcoholic uses booze. He uses BDSM to escape whatever internal demons that he's hiding from and he expects the Domme to be his salvation. Could you top to a sub like that? Could anyone?

For most of us, BDSM is perfectly healthy behavior. For maddog, I sincerely don't think it is.

Don't take my word for it, read over his posting history here objectively. You'll see it yourself. There are times when you have someone who can only be helped through tough love. There are people who are only hurt by kindness because it helps them delude themselves even more. There are times when people just get tired of being the sole self-esteem for an emotional black hole.

cymbidia is a reasonable person. So are you. I think it might be high time there was a PM conversation to sort out differences. If both of you can have a discussion without inflammatory or accusatory language some sort of common ground might be reached.

Don't you think it might be better if you could tell cym that she was being unreasonable and have her actually think about what your saying and perhaps alter her words in response to it than to fight with each other over what amounts to nothing more than pride against pride?

Neither of you are bad people. You may actually find that you like cym, prickly protector and all, once you've managed to set your differences aside and learned to communicate with each other rather than hurl obnoxious insults back and forth. Neither of you are doing yourselves or this board any good the way you are. I'm watching the lines being drawn right now and the various residents are starting to choose sides.

It's up to both of you, cym, Brat, to stop this before you both start a war. And that's what's happening right now. Someone swallow your pride and make the first move toward peace.

 

[cymbidia]

Forgive me, please, all of you for my publicly obnoxious behavior in the last day or so. I'll make every attempt i can to not respond to any provocation that happens to be aimed in my general direction - should it again occur.

The cohesiveness and sense of community each of us has conspired together to create here is far more important than my loudly expressing the depths of my momentary and exceedingly petulent moodiness.

I am sorry.





Muff? Didn't i tell you once upon a time - over a year ago - that no one can apologize quite like a BSSM submissive? As i recall, it was you apologizing to me, and me apologizing back to you then...

We've come a long way, baby.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Enough of the apologies, cym

You are entitled to your opinions as just as willfulbrat is entitled to hers. You and I do not see eye to eye all the time either, and we have verbally sparred in the past. but so what? As long as people feel free to post this forum with thrive.

The fact of the matter is that there are many different personalities here, and we all have to try to get along. I think we need to refrain from the psychoanalysis of the posters on this thread who we disagree with and/or who go beyond the boundaries of good taste or good manners.

The moderators have to do what they think is best for the good of the thread. We may disagree, but they are responsible for this thread, so they can and will do what they need to.

No one here is perfect, so we just have to do the best we can. I say let people be themselves as long as they refrain from flaming.

Ebony

 

[Trainerman]

Spectre T

Don't beat yourself up. You tried to help.

As far as I can tell, you are one of the good guys. Keep being yourself, you have much to offer.