Specific and general feedback needed

[Publius68]

I am in the middle of writing and posting my second long series story on Lit, called Acting 101. https://literotica.com/s/acting-101-ch-01-the-pictures
Like my first long series, and my short stuff (except for a brief, painful foray into Loving Wives before I knew better), it has done very well with voters. In fact, every story I have published, except for the LW entries, are over 4.5.
But despite that flex, I’m still puzzled at how few comments I get, especially on this new series. Also, this new series had a huge drop-off in views after chapter two, a drop off that was definitely NOT there in my first big series.
Anyone have insight into why this series gets great votes in the later chapters, but a huge drop off in views?
Thank you all, I’ve only been posting here for a few months, but I find it very rewarding.

 

[incesterotica]

Anyone have insight into why this series gets great votes in the later chapters, but a huge drop off in views?

Here's my take on this - Well your later chapters will mostly only be read by those who have been following the story from the very beginning. Alot of readers in the initial chapters might just open the story and decide not to continue further since majority on here prefer a quick wank. That explains why you have less number of readers in the later chapters.

Now votes are quite tricky to explain as many don't simply vote despite enjoying the story. I'm guessing the avid followers would continue voting in the later chapters and which is why it gets great votes.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I am in the middle of writing and posting my second long series story on Lit, called Acting 101. https://literotica.com/s/acting-101-ch-01-the-pictures
Like my first long series, and my short stuff (except for a brief, painful foray into Loving Wives before I knew better), it has done very well with voters. In fact, every story I have published, except for the LW entries, are over 4.5.
But despite that flex, I’m still puzzled at how few comments I get, especially on this new series. Also, this new series had a huge drop-off in views after chapter two, a drop off that was definitely NOT there in my first big series.
Anyone have insight into why this series gets great votes in the later chapters, but a huge drop off in views?
Thank you all, I’ve only been posting here for a few months, but I find it very rewarding.

Others on the forums have weighed in on my comments about the drop in views between chapters.

In general, readers are willing to open Chapter 1 to see if they like your story plot and characters. They are reluctant to open later chapters if they aren't vested in your characters or don't remember it. There may be new readers who didn't read your earlier chapter and don't bother to look for it, reluctant to start in the middle of a series.

Then there is the story length, which others have pointed out 17-20,000 words seems to be the optimum to thoroughly engage the reader, without overwhelming them. So, (in my case) compressing several shorter chapters into one longer post might have received more viewers and better ratings. In my later chapters, I try to include enough background to allow the story to stand alone. But potential new readers still see the title "??? Ch. 06: ???" as a probable turn-off.

 

[8letters]

I didn't like the beginning of the story. The story starts with the MMC (does he have a name?) talking with Tony about improv. Then there's a flashback to the first time the MMC went to Steff's house. But the flashback turns into the telling of the main story. Once the flashback starts, Tony disappears from the story except for one paragraph in the middle of page 2.

So it turns out your story is about Steff and her stepmom Meredith. You should have started with them and cut out the scene with Tony.

You have several annoying things:
* You bring in politics for seeming no reason
* Your chess bit is wrong - if you're thinking three or four moves ahead, you'll know that your queen is pinned if the bishop is moved to that spot
* Having a portrait of only the dad made him seem to me really pretentious, like he imagined himself as some English lord. A painting of the dad, Meredith and Steff would to me have worked a lot better

You do a lot of data dumps. "Steff really was just a good friend," starts out a six paragraph data dump. When asked about Meredith, Steff does a data dump on her relationship with her. When Meredith appears, there's a data dump about how she looks. Because you do data dumps instead of having conversations, there isn't much chemistry between Steff and the MMC. What do they have in common besides being poor actors in an Acting 101 class? What about Steff appeals to the MMC besides her body? What about the MMC appeals to Steff?

Without chemistry between Steff and MMC, the picture thing doesn't make a lot of sense to me. And Meredith taking her top off makes even less sense to me.

Lastly, you might be turning off readers in EC because this seems to be an incest story - a threesome with a stepmom and stepdaughter. The story might do better in I/T.

 

[Publius68]

Thanks, This is some great analysis.
While I'm bummed that they way I did some things irritated you, for the most part I'm actually glad you brought up the story elements and questions you did. Thing is, at this point in the story, you should have those questions. Many of them are central issues.

That said, it does bring up some good issues specific to this platform for writing. Tony is a regular character. He isn't central, but he is a useful plot and framing device. But in an episodic form like this, especially one dedicated, at one level or another, to stroke fiction, can I get away with small, slow-moving story devices like Tony and Kimmie that only work well over multiple chapters/the whole arc?

Also, I had already changed the first chapter (and one other) to group sex, but I actually make a bit of a joke later on about it not being incest. But the fact that it isn't is important to the Meredith/Steff dynamic.

As for the chess? I got lazy.

I didn't like the beginning of the story. The story starts with the MMC (does he have a name?) talking with Tony about improv. Then there's a flashback to the first time the MMC went to Steff's house. But the flashback turns into the telling of the main story. Once the flashback starts, Tony disappears from the story except for one paragraph in the middle of page 2.

So it turns out your story is about Steff and her stepmom Meredith. You should have started with them and cut out the scene with Tony.

You have several annoying things:
* You bring in politics for seeming no reason
* Your chess bit is wrong - if you're thinking three or four moves ahead, you'll know that your queen is pinned if the bishop is moved to that spot
* Having a portrait of only the dad made him seem to me really pretentious, like he imagined himself as some English lord. A painting of the dad, Meredith and Steff would to me have worked a lot better

You do a lot of data dumps. "Steff really was just a good friend," starts out a six paragraph data dump. When asked about Meredith, Steff does a data dump on her relationship with her. When Meredith appears, there's a data dump about how she looks. Because you do data dumps instead of having conversations, there isn't much chemistry between Steff and the MMC. What do they have in common besides being poor actors in an Acting 101 class? What about Steff appeals to the MMC besides her body? What about the MMC appeals to Steff?

Without chemistry between Steff and MMC, the picture thing doesn't make a lot of sense to me. And Meredith taking her top off makes even less sense to me.

Lastly, you might be turning off readers in EC because this seems to be an incest story - a threesome with a stepmom and stepdaughter. The story might do better in I/T.

 

[46n2]

I am in the middle of writing and posting my second long series story on Lit, called Acting 101. https://literotica.com/s/acting-101-ch-01-the-pictures
Like my first long series, and my short stuff (except for a brief, painful foray into Loving Wives before I knew better), it has done very well with voters. In fact, every story I have published, except for the LW entries, are over 4.5.
But despite that flex, I’m still puzzled at how few comments I get, especially on this new series. Also, this new series had a huge drop-off in views after chapter two, a drop off that was definitely NOT there in my first big series.
Anyone have insight into why this series gets great votes in the later chapters, but a huge drop off in views?
Thank you all, I’ve only been posting here for a few months, but I find it very rewarding.

Separate your sentences into paragraphs.

And if you don't know what I mean? Observe the results of your own post and figure out how to correct it before you expect someone else do offer up what you want.

Like, do that much, mate.

It works both ways.