Speaking in Voices

[HomerPindar]

I'm taking my own advice and suggesting other ways folks can think with words. This one is a little easier to get into ... at least, I think so. The idea is to write a poem in a voice - make it clear that the speaker has a southern accent, or british, or a childs voice.

Any form, just speak with a voice.

how da eve'end motha saved da world as seen by me!

i’d alway thought she wa pretty cool
she bein’ my teach i didn’t mind school
and seein as she marrie my sista
to dat muscian wit the finga blista
i knew she wa da ev’in motha
which made ha a teach like no otha
but then da alienz sho’d up
and i got ta watch ev’in mothe kick da butts
'ight out on da steet
it was 'eally neat
whacke em with a 'ight
and den kick’d dem outta sight
and when she wa done
she tole me not to tell no one

HomerPindar

 

[Angeline]

You know what I mean?

It's like he went and then
I went, and I was like Sure,
y'know? Cause he goes
Like I like her,
and she was like totally:
Wow!
So I go, Like talk to him!
Y'know? So she went,
That's like totally too much girl!
Like I can't go, y'know.
So I went, Cool beans,
but he'll y'know if you don't y'know,
and then she can like y'know,
and that'll be it, girlfriend!

You know what I mean?


[Homer, it occurs to me that our geographic proximity is very apparent in these two poems, lol. ]

 

[HomerPindar]

You know what I mean?

It's like he went and then
I went, and I was like Sure,
y'know? Cause he goes
Like I like her,
and she was like totally:
Wow!
So I go, Like talk to him!
Y'know? So she went,
That's like totally too much girl!
Like I can't go, y'know.
So I went, Cool beans,
but he'll y'know if you don't y'know,
and then she can like y'know,
and that'll be it, girlfriend!

You know what I mean?


[Homer, it occurs to me that our geographic proximity is very apparent in these two poems, lol. ]

LoL, I'm currently compiling The Idiots Dictionary, from which we get NawhaImeen - an oft repeated questions asked in the hopes that the non-idiot can follow the idiot in speach.

HomerPindar

 

[Guest]

?
Shiner

See, I go'a go darn the shops,
Doan I.
My ole man wants 'is pie 'n chips
An' 'e ain't gonna 'ang abaaht.

'E's a nasty bugger when 'e don' get 'is way,
I can tell ya.
It's darts night darn the pub
So 'e's out til late.

The up-side -
I getta break from 'is bleedin' yap
Down-side
'E comes 'ome stinkin' drunk and
Knocks me abaaht.

See ya, Doreen.
If I've go'a shiner the day-
You'll know 'oo give it me.

 

[Angeline]

Joisey Threat Poem

Listen!
These was always our streets,
an I don't give a flyin' dog fuck
what buncha wacks
an the horses they rode in on
ya get down with,
but my old lady lives here, man
an my sisters, too,
an if him an his asshole buddies
shows their stinkin Wildroot Oil here
on my street:

He's in a world of trouble!
His ass is grass!
He's cruisin,
an I'll rip 'im one!

I don't wanna see his face
or smell his cookin'.

Ya got that, jack?

So ya take yer sorry shit
outta here fore I forget
my manners an knocks ya
inta next week.

And get the fuck off my threads, man.
I gotta go ta church.

 

[Guest]

Re: Joisey Threat Poem

Listen!
These was always our streets,
an I don't give a flyin' dog fuck
what buncha wacks
an the horses they rode in on
ya get down with,
but my old lady lives here, man
an my sisters, too,
an if him an his asshole buddies
shows their stinkin Wildroot Oil here
on my street:

He's in a world of trouble!
His ass is grass!
He's cruisin,
an I'll rip 'im one!

I don't wanna see his face
or smell his cookin'.

Ya got that, jack?

So ya take yer sorry shit
outta here fore I forget
my manners an knocks ya
inta next week.

And get the fuck off my threads, man.
I gotta go ta church.

If you'd switch that around a little bit by adding 'fixin to', change 'take yer sorry shit' to 'carry yer sorry ass', and throw in bit of broken Cajun-French phrases with the broken English then you'd have the ' Cajun Threat Poem'

Thanks fer the laffs

|neonurotic|

 

[Angeline]

Where?

If you'd switch that around a little bit by adding 'fixin to', change 'take yer sorry shit' to 'carry yer sorry ass', and throw in bit of broken Cajun-French phrases with the broken English then you'd have the ' Cajun Threat Poem'

Thanks fer the laffs

One world, babe! lol

 

[Floater]

PG Wodehouse On A Saturday Night

I say,
Sorry to trouble you
And all that,
But that’s my shadow
Your crude boot defiles.
Honour requires me
To require you
To remove said boot
Toot sweet.

In that way
You get to keep
Those curious
Carious ivories
That fang your frightful face.

The dentist’s loss
Will be your gain.

 

[Guest]

PG Wodehouse On A Saturday Night

I say,
Sorry to trouble you
And all that,
But that’s my shadow
Your crude boot defiles.
Honour requires me
To require you
To remove said boot
Toot sweet.

In that way
You get to keep
Those curious
Carious ivories
That fang your frightful face.

The dentist’s loss
Will be your gain.

Oh! I just found this! It gave me my first real "L.O.L" of the day. Thanks

 

[Lauren Hynde]

So, right, yer want ter learn
'ow ter write one of them pantoums, innit?

Scribble, scribble, right, scribble,
Write dahn all yer can fink of.
Onto paper let yor soul dribble
And rephrase wot yer wrote above.

Write dahn all yer can fink of, right,
Erase them foughts from yor mind
And rephrase wot yer wrote above;
Cross out the bleedin' words left behind.

Erase them foughts from yor mind.
There's no need ter get shy.
Cross out the bleedin' words left behind.
And just give it one more try!

There's no need ter get shy! Right!
Onto paper let yor soul dribble,
And just give it one more try:
Scribble, right, scribble, scribble...





HOV TO vreete-a a puntuoom
by Zee Svedeesh Cheff

Screebble-a, screebble-a, screebble-a,
Vreete-a doon ell yuoo cun theenk ooff.
Oontu peper let yuoor suool dreebble-a
Und rephrese-a vhet yuoo vrute-a ebufe-a.

Vreete-a doon ell yuoo cun theenk ooff,
Irese-a thuse-a thuooghts frum yuoor meend
Und rephrese-a vhet yuoo vrute-a ebufe-a;
Cruss oooot zee vurds lefft beheend.

Irese-a thuse-a thuooghts frum yuoor meend.
Zeere's nu need tu get shy.
Cruss oooot zee vurds lefft beheend.
Und joost geefe-a it oone-a mure-a try.

Zeere's nu need tu get shy!
Oontu peper let yuoor suool dreebble-a,
Und joost geefe-a it oone-a mure-a try:
Screebble-a, screebble-a, screebble-a...

 

[HomerPindar]

So, right, yer want ter learn
'ow ter write one of them pantoums, innit?

Scribble, scribble, right, scribble,
Write dahn all yer can fink of.
Onto paper let yor soul dribble
And rephrase wot yer wrote above.

Write dahn all yer can fink of, right,
Erase them foughts from yor mind
And rephrase wot yer wrote above;
Cross out the bleedin' words left behind.

Erase them foughts from yor mind.
There's no need ter get shy.
Cross out the bleedin' words left behind.
And just give it one more try!

There's no need ter get shy! Right!
Onto paper let yor soul dribble,
And just give it one more try:
Scribble, right, scribble, scribble...





HOV TO vreete-a a puntuoom
by Zee Svedeesh Cheff

Screebble-a, screebble-a, screebble-a,
Vreete-a doon ell yuoo cun theenk ooff.
Oontu peper let yuoor suool dreebble-a
Und rephrese-a vhet yuoo vrute-a ebufe-a.

Vreete-a doon ell yuoo cun theenk ooff,
Irese-a thuse-a thuooghts frum yuoor meend
Und rephrese-a vhet yuoo vrute-a ebufe-a;
Cruss oooot zee vurds lefft beheend.

Irese-a thuse-a thuooghts frum yuoor meend.
Zeere's nu need tu get shy.
Cruss oooot zee vurds lefft beheend.
Und joost geefe-a it oone-a mure-a try.

Zeere's nu need tu get shy!
Oontu peper let yuoor suool dreebble-a,
Und joost geefe-a it oone-a mure-a try:
Screebble-a, screebble-a, screebble-a...

LOL, the sweedish chef does poetry, I love it

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Courtesy of The Dialectizer